


How to Save a Life

by pieprincess_andthe_fallenangel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Croatoan/Endverse, Anal Sex, Angel Castiel, Angel True Forms, Angelic Grace, BAMF Castiel, Blow Jobs, Castiel & Sam Winchester Friendship, Celestial Castiel, Chuck is God, Croatoans, Dean Has A Wing Kink, Demon Deals, Destiel - Freeform, Fix it AU, Gabriel Being Gabriel, God - Freeform, Hallucinations, Hell, Hell Hounds, M/M, Minor Character Death, Not Endverse, POV Castiel, POV Dean Winchester, Restraints, Ruby is a bitch, Sad, Sad Dean, Sam is a bit of a dick but he thinks he's doign the right thing, Sarcastic Castiel, Sassy, Sassy Castiel, Season 2, Season 3, Secrets, Slow Build Castiel/Dean Winchester, Time Travel, Torture, Trickster Gabriel, Tricksters, bobby & Castiel friendship, none descriptive torture, not like twist and shout, piercing the veil, regular updates, season 4
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-02-03 08:02:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 51,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1737305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pieprincess_andthe_fallenangel/pseuds/pieprincess_andthe_fallenangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a future ruled by Lucifer and plagued by the Croatoan virus, Cas died along with many of his friends; however God decided to intervene one last time and brought him back. The lost angel uses his new, God-given, strength to go back into the past. Maybe this time he could get it right.</p><p>!On Haitus until 2017 as I figure out what I'm going to do with this fic!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The End (Prologue)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is my newest multichapter destiel fic, I hope you enjoy it. I have about 11 chapters prewritten and plans for the next fifteen; I'm really not sure how long this fic will be but it'll definitely be my longest yet. If I had to guess then I'd say about 30 chapters long.
> 
> I was going to write the whole thing in Castiel's PoV but there were a few parts that I thought up that I really wanted to happen but Cas couldn't be there so it's anyone's PoV but mainly Cas's. The titles of chapters will be the names of the episodes they're based on but not every chapter is based on an episode so some of them will just have the name of a random rock song that I think fit in well with the chapter.
> 
> The length of the chapters vary depending on which episode I'm working off and how much I can see Cas doing in it.

Castiel looked over at his leader, that he knew so well and yet so poorly lately. Was he really telling them to go into there? It was a trap… it had to be. Cas looked into his eyes and that was all it took for him to know the truth; because Dean was lying. It _was_ a trap. And Dean knew it. 'Past-Dean' apparently knew it was a trap too because, seconds later, he was pulling their leader off to talk privately.

The only ones who _didn't_ know it was a trap were his friends. He looked at them and considered telling them the truth… but he couldn't. If it was a choice between their lives and killing Lucifer, then they had to do what was best for the world. Cas stole a deep breath and made his decision; he wasn't going to jeopardize the mission by speaking out of line. He was a soldier, after all; always had been. Their leader walked back a few minutes later by himself and they all frowned. Normally no-one would speak-up, including Cas, but he was going to die today so what was the point in holding his tongue?

"Where is he?" he asked, a little worried about Past-Dean. Dean just stared at him and shook his head, which infuriated Cas. It was his last minutes on earth and Dean couldn't even answer him one simple question?!

A few minutes later Dean split off from their group, urging them to go on ahead while he went around the back. This didn't hit any of them as odd, but it broke Cas' heart. He surged forwards nevertheless.

It was a blood bath the moment that they entered through the window. He was the last one down, his friends having been torn apart in front of him. He was injured and fired his gun almost aimlessly in an attempt to take down as many Croats as possible. Hell… if he's going down then he's going down swinging. In the end he got taken out by a knife to the back of the neck. It was a painful yet, thankfully, quick death.

Life was brought back into his body and he gasped for air. Light filled his vision and everything was loud… too loud. So loud that he couldn't distinguish between sounds. He was flooded with senses.

His grace greedily sucked in the power that was being supplied to him and he was left wondering what was happening. Was this his afterlife?

Cas was still an angel, even if he was a powerless one, and angels knew nothing of what their afterlife was… he didn't even know if he had one. And if this _was_ it then it was both brilliant and horrible at the same time. His body wasn't used to feeling so filled with power and it caused him pain.

Then, suddenly, the light dimmed and disappeared. The screeching in his head lessened and his pain numbed. He took in a jagged breath and opened his eyes.

His vision was sharper than it had ever been before. He took in his surrounds and, in less than a second, he concluded that there was no current danger. Chuck was leaning over him and smiling weakly. But there was something different about him… he wasn't human anymore. Cas tensed; ready to fight whatever was possessing his friend. It took him a moment for his grace to recognize who was leaning over him. And when he did, his eyes widened in complete shock… Chuck wasn't being possessed at all.

"Father?" he asked, incredulously. Chuck nodded and moved back to allow Cas to get up off the blood-soaked floor.

"Cas."

"Why?" Cas was slightly surprised by just how much emotion he put into that one word. It was filled with hope, anger, fear and sadness. So much sadness.

"I didn't want _any_ of this," Chuck, _God_ , said, glancing around the room where their friends lay alongside the Croats that his Father must have killed when he entered to revive Castiel.

"Then why didn't you intervene?" Cas growled out; years ago he wouldn't have dared to talk to his Father like this… but times had changed, _he'd_ changed, and he found that he didn't actually care anymore… even if he was going to be killed for his outburst. Chuck looked at him sadly.

"I wanted to give my children free will… I still do." Cas turned away from him and shook his head in rage. There was silence for a few moments.

"Why did you save me?"

"Because I have hope that you can fix this"

"That _I_ can?" Cas shouted dryly as he spun around to face God. "What about you? This is _your_ world! Not mine."

"But you still care about it… I've restored your powers and then some. You should be able to tell that you're stronger now than you've ever been." Cas nodded stiffly. "I've given you more power than any archangel… which is why you can see me now for who I _really_ am"

"And what would you have me do with it?"

"Whatever you wanted." They stared at each other for a moment until Cas looked away. "I'm tired of this war Cas… I just want everything to be over. I _won't_ intervene and tell you or anyone else what to do. I won't take away what little free will you have… this is the most I can do to help."

"I need to talk to Dean"

"He's out back" Chuck said sadly and Cas' eyes widened at the tone of his voice, he wasted no time in flying towards his former lover.

"No!" He shouted as he saw the broken remains on the ground. Cas immediately dropped to his knees and pulled the body into his arms. This couldn't be happening… Dean was their leader… he was supposed to be their _savior_. Cas' chest burned with grief as he looked at the empty vessel of the man he loved. "No," he whispered as tears spilled from his eyes. Chuck slowly walked up to him and placed a comforting hand on the angel's shoulder.

"You have the power to bring him back," he said softly and Castiel stared up at him with hope. "But we both know that he's not the same man that you fell in love with." Cas knew that Chuck was right. He and Dean had spent a lot of time working with each other after Sam had broken the final seal and the brothers had gone their separate ways. They'd become very close and after a couple of months they'd had sex. Dean had freaked out afterwards and insisted that it shouldn't have happened. They went on as normal for a week before giving into the desire to copulate again… and after that it had turned into a relationship, of sorts. They had been somewhat happy for several months before Sam had said yes in Detroit and the apocalypse had begun. That was when Dean had become withdrawn and cold. He blamed their relationship on him not being able to stop the devil and eventually they broke up. Dean became their leader, he was cold and brash and void of any emotion other than anger; and Cas had buried his pain in women and drugs.

"It doesn't matter… he's still Dean and I _need_ him," Cas muttered and placed his palm on the man's face then stopped as a though occurred to him. "The other Dean… where is he?" He asked in a panic when he realized that the man could have been captured or injured… maybe even killed.

"He's safe. Zachariah took him back to his time." Cas nodded.

"So that's why he disappeared" Chuck shook his head and told him what had happened. Cas looked down at the man in his arms and removed his hand from his face. "You said that I could do whatever I wanted… Is that true?"

"Yes."

"What if I wanted to go back in time? Would I be able to change how things played out?" Chuck nodded.

"In theory, yes."

"What does that mean?"

"You're more than powerful enough to be able to bend time to your will… but it needs to be slowly altered by small important events… if you do something too drastic then time will correct itself and whatever you did will be undone." Cas nodded, it was a bit confusing but he understood.

"I need some time by myself" he said, knowing how stupid that statement was since Chuck was God and was omniscient. Regardless, Chuck stepped back and disappeared out of sight. Cas took a moment to think over his plan then he picked Dean into his arms, got up from the dirt and flew towards their camp. He didn't go out into the open where anyone could see him, instead he went straight to the graveyard out back where all their fallen comrades were buried… including Bobby.

Cas lay his former lover onto the ground and, with a flick of his wrist, created a six foot hole. He lowered the body into it and filled it in with the dirt. He silently grieved Dean's death before he summoned his 'angel mojo' and retreated into the past.


	2. All Hell Breaks Loose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone liked the first chapter, this is one of my lesser favourite chapters because I found some of the interactions, especially at the beginning, a bit awkward. But I think the chapters get better as they go on so please keep with me :) I was supposed to post this yesterday but I had an exam today which meant I was concentration so hard on revising yesterday that I just forgot all about posting. I only actually remembered around midnight as I'd just gotten into bed and turned the light off for an early night sleep, so I couldn't be bothered to turn everything back on in order to post.
> 
> Also this Cas is sort of a mix between sassy, 2014 Cas and regular, angel Cas. It'll make more sense as to why in this chapter.

It took Cas a while to be able to decide exactly where he could appear. He contemplated showing up at the very beginning, back when Dean was a child, but he didn't know much of those times other than what Dean himself had told him. Which meant there was too large a chance that things would go wrong. So instead, he decided to show up at the time of the deal. He knew the exact day; May 17th 2008.

But he had something that he needed to do before hand; so he instead went to the 16th. Cas flew straight to heaven once he'd arrived and waited. There was someone he needed to have a conversation with and where better to wait for him then his favoured heaven; the eternal Tuesday afternoon of an autistic man who drowned in a bathtub in 1953. It didn't take long for the angel Cas was waiting for to sense his presence and fly directly towards him. Cas turned and saw his true form in from of him.

"I… I don't understand?" 2008 Castiel said and he smiled. "When are you from?"

"2014."

"It's forbidden to change the past."

"True… but that's not important right now."

"Of course it is," the celestial being came closer and frowned. "You're more powerful… how?"

"I'll show you," he said and the celestial Castiel nodded and came closer. Cas lifted his hand and touched it against Castiel's head. He then pushed his memories into his past self. After a moment they broke apart. "I won't be going back to my own time."

"It's unwise for there to be two of us in one time for too long…" he said slowly, "which is why you wish to merge into one."

"It'll be safer that way. Neither of us will be exactly who we were before, but we won't be dead."

"Okay," Castiel said after only a slight hesitation. They both reached out with their graces and mixed them together. It took several minutes and the process was slightly painful but Cas found that he was extremely thankful that he had made his wards strong enough for no other angel to sense him. Half of his garrison would have come running if they had felt that.

Still, he didn't want to risk getting seen, so he fled and went towards Dean Winchester. He watched silently as Dean sat beside Sam's body and grieved. He reached out with his grace and listened to his friend's inner thoughts; he waited until he knew that Dean was about to get up and leave for a crossroad at any minute before he showed up.

"Hello Dean," he said as he materialised and Dean flinched and spun around in shock.

"Who are you?"

"My name is… unimportant. I'm here to talk to you about your deal."

"I haven't _made_ a deal."

"Not yet."

"So what? You want to make a deal?" Cas nodded and stepped forwards. Dean didn't pause for much longer before continuing. "My soul, plus ten years, and you bring Sam back."

"Not exactly," Cas replied and Dean waited for him to clarify. "One year"

"I'm not taking that," Dean scoffed.

"It's the same deal you'll get at any crossroads," Cas said, smoothly, as he walked closer until he was standing at the other side of Sam's body. " _Except_ they would add in a sub-clause that said that if you tried to break the deal then Sam would drop dead again… I'm not going to add it in." Dean stared at him for a moment.

"What are you? 'Cause you're not a demon"

"And how would you know that?" Cas asked and Dean looked pointedly upwards, Cas followed his gaze. There was a devils trap painted on the ceiling and he'd just walked right through it. He muttered a curse and looked back at Dean as he thought through his options. He could tell him the truth, that he was an angel… but in order to keep time from correcting itself, things needed to happen as they normally would have before; which meant that Dean needed to think he would die and go to hell… Obviously he wasn't going to, but Cas couldn't risk telling him that. He sighed and racked his brain for anything he could say when he thought of Gabriel…

"I'm a trickster," He announced, which made Dean frown and stand up.

"And why would you want my soul?"

"Oh I don't," Cas said as he thought up a new story to tell his friend, "that's why I took away that clause. I just find it fun to mess with demons." Dean looked at him with confusion. "You see, souls are power. The brighter they shine, the more powerful they are… and as you can probably guess, they don't get very many bright shining good hearted souls in the pit. But you, you're… righteous." Dean scoffed at that.

"Okay, so you want me to be able to get out of the deal? So why make it in the first place?"

"Well, I _could_ just bring Sam back without making one… but without a contract they'll never find out that you wanted to make a deal in the first place… so it won't be as much fun," Cas replied, thinking fast on his feet. Dean looked down at his brother and silence filled the air as he thought over the decision.

"If I made a demon deal, my soul goes to hell. What happens if I make a deal with a trickster?"

"Whatever I want to happen." Dean looked at him with a fearful expression as he thought over what a trickster would do with his soul and Cas laughed dryly. "I have no use for your soul, Dean. True they hold power, but I have enough of that. I'm not greedy, I don't need more… so, I suppose, I will probably send it to hell."

"Then what's the point of this? If you're just going to send my soul to hell anyway?"

"First of all, they won't know you're going to hell until you show up there. And second, you'll have a whole year to weasel your way out of the deal along with my guarantee that nothing will happen to you or Sam if you try."

"How do I know that you're not trying to screw me over?"

"Because…"Cas drew in a long breath through his nose as he thought and after a few seconds shook his head. "Neh, I've got nothing." Dean looked over him with suspicion and so Cas just shrugged. "Fine, go to the crossroads and try to get a better deal out of them... whatever they give you I'll match. There's no time limit… I'll wait." Cas materialised a chair and sat down in it next to Sam.

"I'm not leaving you here with my bother. You're coming with." The angel tilted his head and frowned.

"What do you _really_ think I'd do? I'm not a necrophiliac, Dean. And even if I was, Sam isn't exactly my type," Cas said with a small amount of venom in his words and pointedly ran his eyes up and down Dean's body. He smirked at how uncomfortable it made the man. Their eyes met and Cas winked. Dean froze in place with barely masked fear in his eyes and Cas laughed curtly. He realised that he was probably enjoying Dean's discomfort a little too much and that maybe he wasn't as okay with how _his_ Dean had been acting in 2014 as he'd made himself believe. The angel pushed those thoughts out of his mind and stood up. "Let's go then." Dean swallowed and nodded and they walked together to his car and drove in silence until they got to the crossroads.

Dean looked over at Cas and got out the car, he went around to the boot and began to pull out the items he needed to summon the demon. Cas flew out of the car and stood behind Dean, watching him lazily and maybe enjoying the sight of him bent over in the boot a little bit. Dean turned around and jumped at seeing Cas behind him, having not heard him move.

" _Jeez,_ " he said and took a calming breath, "make a noise or something." Cas chuckled a little, reminiscing.

"I think it would be best if you pretended I wasn't here… I'm going to prevent the demon from seeing me in case my presence here makes her… unwilling." Dean just nodded, not really caring.

**_(Dean's Point of View)_ **

Dean walked to the crossroad and quickly buried the box, when he turned around to look at the trickster he saw that he was leaning up against the front of the Impala, with his arms crossed. He kept facing him as he waited, not wanting to let him out of his sight for too long. A few seconds passed and Dean was getting impatient. He checked over his shoulders to look for the demon

"Oh come on already…" he whispered and then began to shout into the night. "Show your face, you _bitch_!"

"Easy sugar… you'll wake the neighbours" said a woman's sickly voice from behind him, he turned to look. She began to ramble on about him, but he wasn't really listening… his mind too full.

"I should send you straight back to hell" he grumbled.

"Oh you should. But you won't." The demon walked around him and when he turned back around he could see the impala, and the trickster, right behind her. "And I know why."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, following in Daddy's footsteps, you want to make a deal. Little Sammy back from the dead and let me guess, you're offering up your own soul."

"There are plenty of others out there that would love to get their hands on it." He looked at the trickster who seemed pretty bored. "And it's all your if you can give me Sam back and ten years," his eyes met the demons again, " _ten years_. And then you come for me."

"You must be joking," the demon snarled and Dean's eyes flickered back to the trickster who had moved from leaning against the hood to lying on it, head back and looking up at the sky. He hated seeing his baby being abused like that but couldn't exactly do anything at this moment.

"It's the same deal you give everybody else," he said sadly, starting to realise that maybe the demi-God was right.

"You're not everybody else." She stalked forwards and whispered in his ear, "why would I want to give you anything?" Dean was looking down and thinking of anything that he could do that would make the deal last for longer than a year. "Keep your guttered soul, it's too tarnished anyway." Dean frowned as he thought about what the trickster had said about his soul being 'bright' and 'righteous'. He hadn't believed that he could be described that way, but he even _he_ wouldn't call it guttered or tarnished. Dean already had decided he was going to take the trickster's contract, but he needed more than a year in case he couldn't break it in time.

"Nine years."

"No," she said and stepped back.

"Eight."

"You keep going, I'll keep saying no."

"Okay, five years. Five years and my bill comes due. That's my last offer; five years or no deal" She walked closer to him and moved her mouth near his, he pulled away slightly.

"Then no deal."

"Fine," he said as defiantly as possible while facing defeat.

"Fine." she moved away and walked off, "make sure you bury Sam before he starts stinking up the joint." Dean stood still and looked at the demi-God who officially looked like he had fallen asleep on the hood of his car. He heard the sounds of the demon's footsteps as she walked away and after a moment they began to walk back to him. "Look, I shouldn't be doing this, I could get in a lot of trouble," said the demon and Dean frowned and turned to look at her. "But what can I say, I've got a blind spot for you, Dean. You're like a puppy, just too fun to play with... I'll do it." Dean stayed silent, he didn't want to make this deal. "I will bring your brother back. And because I'm such a saint I'll give you _one year_ and one year only. But here's the thing; if you try to welch and weasel your way out then the deal is _off_. Sam drops dead, he's back to rotting meat in no time." Dean shook his head and pulled away.

"I'm not doing that"

"It's a better deal than your Dad ever got and it's the only one you're getting," she enticed and Dean continued to shake his head. The trickster suddenly appeared next to the demon and she flinch away with wide eyes. He lifted one finger to his lips and shushed and when she opened her mouth to speak, her voice wouldn't work.

"You really do like the sound of this girl's voice, don't you?" He said to the demon who looked at him with fear in her eyes. "It takes me paralysing you're tongue to stop it flapping." Cas turned back to Dean, "can I kill her now? Or are you still trying to do the impossible?" He asked Dean, who shrugged and walked away.

"Whatever." Dean didn't see what happened next but there was a sudden bright white light which made him squint, even though he was looking the other way. When he turned around the trickster wasn't there and the body of the demon was lying on the floor with its eyes burnt out and smoking. He turned around looking for the demi-God and spotted him sitting in the passenger seat of his baby, he let out a sigh of relief and sat in the driver seat.

**_(Castiel's Point of View)_ **

"Don't blame yourself for not getting a better deal. Once Sam died, all crossroads demons were told that if you came knocking then they could _only_ give you that deal."

"You could have just told me that in the first place."

"And you would have _believed_ me," Cas said sarcastically as he looked Dean in the eyes. "You ready to deal now?"

"The same deal as you mentioned before?" Dean asked. "My soul, one year, and we're allowed to try and break it?" Cas nodded, "then yes." Before Cas could react Dean grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled their lips together. He watched as Dean slammed his eyes closed and tried to think of anything other than the fact that he was kissing a guy and it made Cas momentarily sad, but he decided to make the most of this opportunity. He knew exactly what Dean liked and so he put that to his advantage. He slid closer on the seat and their mouths moved in synchronicity for a few seconds before he pushed Dean's lips apart with his own and licked at them. They were just as rough and chapped as he remembered. He delved inside Dean's mouth and brushed their tongues together; Cas moved to straddle Dean's lap and ran his hand up into the man's hair, pulling it down to tilt his head and allow him better access.

He brushed his tongue along Dean's and then licked at his cheeks. Dean began to move his tongue then, pushing it against Cas' in a fight for dominance. But Cas just continued to taste Dean, working his way slowly up to the roof of his mouth. He moved his tongue in a circular motion several times then lowered it to dance with Dean's and moved it back up to repeat the action. Dean moaned softly at the sensations it caused. Cas could sense the slight arousal that his kiss was causing in the man below him and he had to fight the urge to lower his hand to Dean's crotch and stroke, encouraging him to become hard… but that's not why he was here. He removed his tongue from Dean's mouth, licking at his lips as he went. Cas watched and smirked as the man slowly opened his eyes and stared at him in stunned silence. Dean cleared his throat to speak, but Cas just winked and flew away. He hadn't actually been planning on sealing the deal with a kiss, but he wasn't going to complain.

He was invisible when he arrived at the house Sam's body was lying in; he placed his hand on top of Sam's head and used his grace to heal him and summon his soul. Sam eyes popped open as he gasped for air.

Cas watched as Sam woke up and tried to inspect the wound on his back. And he watched as Dean rushed into the house to find Sam alive. Dean sighed in relief and hugged his brother tightly. Cas frowned when Dean avoided Sam's questions and didn't tell him about the deal he'd, but he figured that he was just waiting for the right moment. He sat in the back of the impala as the boys drove to Bobby's house and stood in the back yard with Dean as he got yelled at by his surrogate father.

"You stupid ass, what did you do? _What did you do_?!" Dean kept quiet. "You made a deal, for Sam didn't you? How long did they give ya?"

"Bobby…"

" _How long?!_ "

"One year."

"Damn it, Dean."

"But, it wasn't a demon." Bobby frowned and waited for him to continue, "he showed up and offered a deal and walked straight through that devils trap on the ceiling."

"Please tell me you didn't go making a deal blind to what you're up against."

"He said he was a Trickster."

"He said? God damn it boy, I could throttle you!" Bobby said as he grabbed onto Dean's jacket and if Cas hadn't known Bobby then he would have been throwing him off but, before Bobby had died, he'd become like family to Cas. In fact, it felt really good to see him again.

"And send me downstairs ahead of schedule?" Bobby dropped Dean's jacket after a moments pause.

"Would you even go to hell?"

"Yeah, that is if I can't find a way out of this…" Cas zoned out then when he heard someone approaching. He flew towards the intruder, still invisible, but soon realised he had nothing to worry about when he spotted Ellen. He watched as she climbed over the back gate, checked that no-one was around and started walking towards the house. After a moment he heard Dean and Bobby abruptly stop talking as they heard her approaching.

[] [] []

Castiel had to physically stop himself from stepping in to help when the boy, Jake, forced Ellen's gun to her head. He did however use his grace to keep the gun from being able to go off. He wanted to stop the gate from opening, but if it didn't open then the events of the next year would be too different; not to mention that John Winchester would stay in hell. He may have been able to last all that time without breaking the first seal, but who knew how much longer he could keep that up… it wouldn't be forever.

But then Azazel showed up.

He sent Dean flying through the air, cracking his skull on a headstone as he went. Cas was breathing heavily with anger and the effort it took to keep himself from appearing and smiting the demon. The yellow eyed demon pinned Sam to a tree when he came to help, he then trapped Dean against the headstone and Cas couldn't help but roll his eyes at the brothers.

Azazel talked to Dean for a minute and then stood up, he gripped the colt and held it up to Dean's head and Cas couldn't stop himself any longer. He appeared near Same, but just far enough back that he couldn't be seen, and he pushed his grace at the eldest Winchester, freeing him from the demon's powers. Dean realised and scrambled away from Azazel just as John Winchester showed up. Dean looked up at his father in astonishment and then caught sight of Cas behind him.

Castiel noticed and sighed, he used his grace to move the colt from the dirt and into Dean's hand. Dean looked down at the gun and the angel used that moment to turn himself invisible again. A minute later and Dean emptied the colt into Azazel's chest. The body fell to the ground.

Cas supplied strength to Bobby and Ellen to help them close the devils gate and watched as the Winchester's saw their father one last time. And then he left.


	3. Bad Day at Black Rock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter I don't think is as good as some of the others, so I apologise. Also I realised around about the time that I was writing this chapter that I wasn't actually liking this 'following canon' as much as I thought I would (it doesn't give enough freedom in my writing) and so even though it carries on for a good few chapters, I managed to cut it down dramatically to get to the good stuff sooner. 
> 
> I got a review for my last chapter pointing out that 2014 Cas was a much more dominant personality of the two and I just want to say that is true and will continue to be true for the entire fic. But, it does start to mix more in this chapter and onwards as he becomes less bitter and unable to keep up much of a façade. So yeah Cas is mainly putting on the sassyness but occasionally he drops it by accident and his other self shines through a bit.
> 
> Please leave a review because I'd love to hear what you have to say.

Cas realised that spending time watching over the Winchesters made it too easy to intervene. And so, when he left after Azazel died, he stayed away for several weeks. He'd been lucky that he hadn't done anything too drastic while he'd been in the cemetery that would force time to correct itself.

At first he wasn't sure what to do when he wasn't near the Winchesters, since his only mission now was to protect them. But after a little thought he decided to add additional wardings to himself. He had a natural warding that would conceal his presence if he wished to not be seen, but any demon would instantly recognise him as an angel. So, after he spent the first week manifesting a safe house and creating sensors that would alert him to monsters within a twenty, ten and five mile radius of the place, he started upgrading them. It took him two days to strengthen his wards. Once he'd finished, he created sensors to give to the Winchesters. The sensors weren't physical, they were spiritual; so, once he'd made them and went to the brothers, he was able to place it on their souls while they were sleeping and they were none the wiser about it.

He took a moment to look through the papers that littered the table and nodded happily when he saw it was all about how to break a deal. He left soon after and spent the following two weeks meditating, something that he had learnt to do while he was powerless and had stuck with him. His grace occasionally got alerted to the demons or monsters near the brothers but Cas ignored it because of the low numbers. At one point he sensed a minimum of ten monsters in the same town as Dean and Sam and broke his trance, about to fly towards them when he read deeper. The monsters were changelings. He sighed and went back to meditating; changelings never actually attacked anyone unless they thought the person was going to take them away from the Mother they were currently feeding off. There was only actually one monster in the town that would attack them.

Even still, he found it hard to relax until he sensed the changelings' deaths.

The next time he sensed anything of real importance, it was a curse. Cas opened his eyes and immediately flew towards Sam Winchester. Dean and Sam were sitting in a restaurant. He landed in the seat next to Dean as both Winchester's were leaning forwards and faced the other way to watch a waitress walk away.

"Dude. If you were _ever_ gonna get lucky," Dean said to his brother and Sam half turned to him before noticing Castiel. Both of the brothers jumped and pulled out their guns, holding them under the table towards the angel.

"Who the hell are you?" Sam asked and Cas looked pointedly at Dean who sighed and answered.

"It's the trickster that I made the deal with"

"Well what the hell is he doing here?" Sam asked and Dean shrugged and looked at Cas suspiciously, neither one of them had put their weapon away. Cas looked between both men and frowned at their ease.

"You _do_ know that Sam is cursed, don't you?"

"What about it?" Dean replied snidely.

"You don't seem very worried…" the exact second that Cas spoke a waiter carrying a tray walked past and slipped, sending the food crashing all over Sam, who jumped back, knocked his coffee all over the table and nearly fell off his chair. He dropped the gun that he was holding and it would have fired if Cas hadn't used his grace to stop it.

"How was _that_ good?" Dean asked and Sam pushed his hand into his jacket pocket, revealing that it was empty. "Son of a bitch! Was that you?" Dean asked Cas, who frowned and shook his head.

"It's the curse…"

"You didn't take the foot?" Dean asked and Cas squinted at the eldest Winchester in confusion. There was a time, only a few years ago, where everything Dean said would have pulled the same reaction from Cas but it had been a long time since then and Cas had gotten fairly knowledgeable on the majority of Dean's pop culture preferences… it felt strange to be out of the loop once more. Dean looked at Cas for a second longer, shook his head and ran for the door, Sam followed after his brother and Cas flew to sit in the back seat of the Impala. He watched Sam and Dean exit the building and look around before running towards the car. Sam tripped and fell on his way and Dean stopped to help him up. "Wow. You suck," Dean said, "so what now you're luck turns bad?"

"I guess."

"I wonder how bad." Dean got in his beloved car and turned around in his seat to face Cas. "Why are you here?" The angel paused for a millisecond as he thought over his options and decided it was easier to keep up this façade of not caring.

"Curses are entertaining" he replied with a smirk.

"Yeah, you're gonna leave now"

"Oh don't be like that… I can be of some assistance. Like I can track down who ever stole the ' _foot_ '. That's if you don't mind me laughing whenever Sammy here makes a _boo boo_ " Cas said and Sam, who had just got in the car turned a bitch face on him. But he was grazed and covered in food so it didn't quiet have the desired effect.

"No. I'm not letting you anywhere near my brother. So you're gonna leave or I'm gonna find something sharp and pointy to shove through your chest," Dean declared with a scowl and Cas lifted his hands in surrender before turning himself invisible.

[] [] []

Cas had to say that, even though he'd been lying to Dean about why he came to them, seeing Sam trip over every two seconds was fairly amusing. He'd stayed invisible and listened into their conversations enough to find out that Sam's curse was at the fault of a rabbit's foot. He decided that he'd need to increase his wardings on the brothers since he hadn't been able to pick it up when it had been working in their favour. Dean dropped Sam off at a motel and, even though he wanted to go with eldest hunter to search for the foot, he decided that he'd be more useful staying with Sam to look after him.

Cas spent about two hours sitting and watching Sam do absolutely nothing. He sighed and wondered if he should have followed Dean instead. He wasn't really paying too much attention to what was happening in the room and only broke out of his daydream when he saw Sam get out of the chair. Sam walked slowly across the room and then quickly used one of the quilts to put out a fire that the angel hadn't even noticed.

Cas was leaning against a wall on the other side of the room when Sam spontaneous caught fire himself. He surged towards the human but Sam had already knocked himself unconscious while putting out the flames. Cas looked down at the youngest Winchester and, after determining that he wasn't injured, chuckled lightly at the man's predicament; but then two men entered the motel room.

Castiel's instinctive reaction was to incapacitate the two men, but he didn't. He had to know what they wanted first. And so he stayed alert and listened to them as they tied Sam Winchester up on a chair.

"Oh he's awake," said one of the men, Creedy his name was.

"Back with us aye?" Said the other one, Kubrick.

"We didn't even have to touch you. You just went all _spastic_ and knocked yourself out… it was like watching Jerry Louis ride a stack o' chairs."

"Who are you?" Sam asked, "What do you wa-" Kubrick snapped his fingers to interrupt Sam and Cas frowned; the guy seemed to be an asshole with a bit of a superiority complex.

"I used to think your friend Gordon sent me…"

"Gordon? Oh _come on_ …"

"Yeah. Because he asked me to track you down and put a bullet in your brain," at that Cas stood a little closer to his friend; he wasn't going to let them hurt Sam Winchester.

"Great, that sounds like him."

"But… as it turns out... I'm on a mission from God." Kubrick raised his hand towards Sam and Cas grabbed hold of it before he could touch his friend. "What the-". The angel turned himself visible and brought his fist down on Kubrick's face, effectively knocking him out. Creedy quickly took out his gun and aimed it but Castiel picked him up and flung him against the wall before he could fire. Cas sighed and turned around to face Sam. He easily broke the bonds holding the Winchester to the chair.

"Errr, thanks… Not that I'm not grateful and everything, but why are you helping?" Sam asked after a moment of staring wide-eyed in complete silence and Cas looked at him but he couldn't think of an excuse so he settled for just turning himself back invisible.

_**(Sam's Point of View)** _

When Dean had got back to the motel and found the two hunters unconscious on the floor, Sam hadn't told him what happened. There hadn't been enough time and if he was being honest, he wouldn't have known what to say anyway. It was all really confusing. But now they were on their way back from the cemetery after destroying the rabbit's foot.

"They were working for Gordon," Sam said.

"Huh?"

"The two hunters."

"Well that's just great… how'd you beat 'em up?"

"I… didn't," Sam answered and Dean shot a glance at his brother.

"Well they didn't knock _themselves_ out… especially with your luck."

"It was the trickster" Sam said quietly and Dean hit his hand against the steering wheel in frustration. "Dean, look I think we should look for other ways of ending the contract."

"Why? Because the monster that holds it decided to play nice?"

"Just listen, okay? He saved my life."

"We don't know that. They wouldn't have killed you."

"They said that they were gonna put a bullet in my brain, Dean. You can't get much more dead than that." Sam shot his brother a bitch face, daring him to speak up and interrupt him again. "But anyway, even if the trickster isn't on our side and he's just acting or lying, well what makes us so sure he's not lying about being the one to hold your contract? Killing him would just be pointless and a waste of time"

"Damn it, Sam. You're too easily trusting, you know that? I mean first there's Ruby and now this trickster?"

"She said she can help y- you know what? No. I'm not getting into this again"

"And I'm not going to trust monsters!" Both the boys went quiet and Cas, who was sitting invisibly in the back seat, frowned at the knowledge that they were looking at killing him as a way to end the contract.


	4. Red Sky in the Morning

Cas was finding it more and more boring to stay away from the Winchesters for any given period of time; so, occasionally, he decided to just drop in for a few hours. Today was one of those days; he flew towards Dean but sensed a woman in the house he was squatting in. Sam wasn't there. Both Dean and the woman were in separate rooms and so he flew to the room she was in. She was pretty with lightly tanned skin and brown hair. She was wearing a dress that was way too expensive for her to be in a house as rundown as this one.

"What is taking so long?" The woman shouted as she looked up the stairs and leant against a table, "Sam's already half way there… with his _date_ "

"I'm so not okay with his," came Dean's voice from upstairs.

"What are you, a woman? Come down already." Cas turned from looking at the woman to the stairs as he heard movement towards them. His eyes widened at Dean's appearance. It seemed that Dean had been holding out on him; they'd spent a lot of time together over the past few years, but he'd never seen Dean looking like this. He was dressed in a well-fitted tux that highlighted all of his best features and hugged his muscles. The entire outfit was tight in all the right places and a thrum of arousal heated in the angel's veins. Cas stared at him with a slack jaw as his eyes ran up and down the man in front of him and his mouth went completely dry with _want_. He could feel his body respond to Dean, his heart beat and breathing quickened and legs began to feel weak; not to mention the tingle of desire that was steadily creeping down his body. Dean walked to the bottom step and looked right past him and at the woman which caused a pang of jealousy.

"Alright, get it out. I look ridiculous."

"Not exactly the word I would use."

"What?"

"You know when this is over, we should really have angry sex."

"I'd be up for that too…" Cas muttered to himself as his eyes raked up and down Dean's body one more time, of course neither of them could hear him. Dean looked speechless for a moment as he shifted uncertainly. He crossed his arms and looked offended.

"Don't objectify me… let's go." Dean walked forwards and Cas had to step aside to keep the man from walking into him; he tilted his head to the side as his eyes followed Dean. He watched the curve of Dean's ass as he moved and smirked before following.

[] [] []

About an hour and a half later Cas was sitting in the small, confining room next to Bela while Dean searched for the hand. He'd learnt Bela's name as he sat in the back seat of the impala and listened to the pair of them talk and he'd instantly recognised her from the 'Winchester Gospel'. He remembered that she made a deal with a demon to steal the colt and kill Sam in order to be released from her contract… so he was going to keep a close eye on her and, even though he'd much rather be with Dean and help him grab the hand, he wasn't going to leave her side when she was near either of the brothers.

Cas threw a look to the door as he heard footsteps approaching on the stairs… and they weren't Sam's or Dean's. He knew that he couldn't let anyone find out that Dean was no-longer in the room and so he pushed a memory into the guards mind to make him believe he'd just checked on them.

But it was an Archangel's ability to make humans see things that aren't real and, even though Cas was now more than strong enough to be able to do it, he'd never tried before. The angel took a deep breath as the steps on the staircase stopped. He waited until they had turned to walk back the way they'd come from before he let it out again in a sigh of relief. It was only a few seconds later that the angel heard Dean nearing the doorway. His friend opened the door and rushed in. Castiel took another moment to gaze at the curve of Dean's ass in the tight-fitting trousers while the humans talked.

Dean pulled out the hand and wrapped it in a handkerchief and Bela made a grabby motion, wanting to take the hand into her bag to hide it. Dean flat out refused and placed it back into his pocket. Both humans turned to walk out of the room, Bela extremely close to Dean.

Then Cas saw her slip her fingers into his pocket and replace the hand with a ship in a bottle. She placed the hand into her bag and continued to walk out but Cas grabbed her wrist, turning visible.

"What the _hell_?" Bela shouted and Cas mentally sound proofed the room so that none of the woman's shouts could make it to the guests downstairs. Cas' face was set in a hard mask of dislike as she squirmed to get away.

"Let her go," Dean said in a firm voice as he aimed the colt at Castiel's head. The Angel turned to look at it but refused to show his fear at the weapon pointed to his vessel's skull. His grace automatically cast towards the weapon to study it's power and the damage it could do to him and Cas balked at the results. It wouldn't do a thing. Not a _damn_ _thing_. And not just to him… but to _any_ angel more powerful than a cherub.

The realisation, that he and Dean had spent the past five years of their lives chasing after a useless gun, washed over him and he felt the twinge of anger develop. The gun would never have worked on Lucifer and he'd completely wasted five years.

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked and Bela winced at the pain occurring in her wrist where Cas was holding her too tight.

"He's breaking my wrist! That's what he's doing! So stop talking and _shoot him!_ " Bela shouted as she pulled again to get away. Cas levelled her with a deadly glare but released a small amount of his grip, not enough for her to get away though.

"Check your pocket," Cas said in a bristly tone, getting more and more agitated by the second. Dean glowered at him for a second and looked like he was about to attempt a witty remark when the eldest Winchester noticed Bela's shocked and worried look. He frowned and put the gun into his left hand, keeping it trained on Castiel as he lowered his right hand and pulled out the handkerchief-covered object. He flicked his wrist in order to move some of the light fabric out of the way and glanced down to see a ship in a bottle.

Cas watched, triumphantly, as Dean lowered the gun away from his face and glared at Bela.

"Where's the hand?"

"In her bag," Cas answered even though the question had been directed at the woman. Dean held the colt so it was facing the ground instead of Cas and reached in to remove the object from Bela's possession. The eldest Winchester shook his head in exasperation as he looked at the hand in the handkerchief.

"I don't even know why I'm surprised," he muttered and nodded at Cas. "You can let her go now."

Castiel looked into the bright green eyes, taken aback by how much _life_ was in them. In the future Dean was hardly ever happy or content, he was just angry. Any emotion other than anger and resentment had wilted away long ago and was just a memory. But here Dean was filled to the brim of emotions. He was never just one thing; he was always happy, or excited, or boastful, or sad, or any of his other millions of emotions. Every one of them Cas adored to see, even the negative. Up until now he had never seen this Dean angry, not really. He had expected to see a ghost of the future Dean in those eyes, he had expected them to be dead of anything but rage. But they weren't. He was angry, angrier than Cas had seen him so far, but his eyes were filled with other emotions too; there was fear and sadness and even excitement for the hunt. It was amazing to see those eyes look like that, enthralling.

Cas kept eye contact as he released Bela from his hold and she stumbled backwards, rubbing her wrists.

"Why are you here?" Dean asked, confused, and Cas shrugged. He wasn't really sure how he could answer that.

"I was bored."

"Right…" Dean muttered and Cas could see the doubt behind the green eyes. Dean turned to glare at Bela and lifted a finger at her in warning. " _You_ are not going to follow me."

"I'll make sure she doesn't," Castiel said before Bela had a chance to reply with a sharp comment. But then she cast a scared look at the angel and a pleading one at Dean.

"You're not going to leave me with _him_?"

"He's not gonna hurt you…" Dean muttered and Cas was a little surprised. The eldest Winchester stared back at him, the 'are you?' plain to see in his eyes and Cas shook his head to say he wouldn't lay a hand on her.

"You say that as if he wasn't just about to break my wrist"

"You over exaggerate," Cas muttered with a roll of his eyes.

"If you _are_ staying with her then take her to 29 Ox Road; me and Sam are staying there and I need a word with her after this is over." Cas nodded and stretched his wings to fly them both to the abandoned house that his friends were squatting in. He would normally grab hold of the person he was trying to fly with but he found the idea of touching Bela again fairly unsanitary. So he instead carried her with his mind.

Once they landed, Bela took a step away from him and threw him a dizzy glare. She was scared but he wasn't going to hurt her so he showed it by sitting down and not paying the woman much attention. It wasn't long before he found himself immensely bored. He produced a book that he was currently reading and leaned back on his chair as he found his page. There had once been a time when he wouldn't need any form of entertainment to keep him happy; but if he was honest he hadn't really known what happiness was, it had simply been a vague concept. But then he'd 'lost his _juice_ ' (as Dean had once said) and turned practically human. Now he found himself simply unable to sit still for too long, and there was so much literature that he had always longed to read. He was starting with the classics; he'd already read a series of books by Terry Pratchett and then he had started on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. He had to say that he found Sherlock Holmes to be a fairly relatable character at times.

Castiel was pondering his connection with the fictional character when he heard the front door open. He sat up instantly and searched with his mind to find that Bela had just snuck out through the front door. She obviously didn't think that he'd be able to hear her and that he was distracted enough to _not_ notice. Cas pulled the book away again and stretched out his wings. He reached out with his senses and found Bela instantly, she was running fairly quickly away from the house and nearing the docks. He flew to the spot several feet in front of her direction. When Bela saw him she fell backwards onto the floor in her efforts to rapidly turn back around. Cas sighed and lowered his hand to her in offering but she pulled back away from it.

"You're going to ruin that pretty little dress of yours," he mocked, keeping in character. But she just scowled and pulled herself up. She stood facing him defiantly, trying to make Cas believe that she wasn't scared of him. Cas frowned at her, she shouldn't be scared of him. Not because he's an angel and not going to hurt her, because she doesn't know that… but because, in the books, she was described as practically fearless. She was always put into situations that could get her hurt or maimed but she never let on that she was scared, even when she was. So why was she acting this way now? Cas tilted his head at her and skimmed her thoughts.

Everything was a jumble from her fear and so her thoughts kept jumping rapidly from one thing to the next. But one thing that caught Castiel's attention was something that appeared several times; ' _does he know? I have to get away from him… he could know. He seems to know a lot why wouldn't he know this_ '. Cas frowned, thinking Bela must be thinking about her demon deal and after a slight bit more concentration he was able to read deeper and he was proved right.

' _Shit!_ ' Bela thought suddenly as Cas began to draw away from her mind, he looked closer at her and saw she was staring wide-eyed over his shoulder. Castiel didn't need to turn around to see what she was seeing because Bela's mind soon became active and she was thinking about the ghost ship. The death omen.

"Aren't you glad I stopped you from stealing the hand now," he said cynically.

[] [] []

"You know that what Sam and Dean do is for the good," Cas said to Bela once they were back in the house his friends were squatting in. "If you had gotten away with that hand then you'd be dead within days and it would just keep killing." Bela stared at him but didn't respond. After a couple of minutes he gave up and just returned to his book.

"Who are you?" Bela asked, curious, but this time it was Cas' turn to not answer. "You're obviously connected to Dean somehow, but he seems to trust you as far as he can throw you. His first reaction to seeing you grab me was to threaten you and it's not like he's all that happy that I'm around… So what is it? Why are you here?" Cas flicked his eyes up over the top of the book and glanced at her before returning to reading. "Ah. I see. You want to have sex with him"

Cas' eyes flicked back up to her and widened a little; Bela just smirked and shrugged.

"I saw you checking him out earlier, you were staring at his ass like it had personally offended you and you wanted to teach it a lesson," she said with a laugh. "I have to say though, I'm not all that surprised. In that _tux_ … he looks so good even _I_ want him."

Cas lowered his gaze back to his book and pretended to read while she grinned to herself. She knew next to nothing about him, but she'd found a leverage which she could use if he were to tell the Winchesters anything about herself. And so she was now suddenly much more calm and back to the Bela he'd read about in the books. Thinking about those books made him internally scowl. Now that the shock had worn off and he wasn't so consumed by grief, he had a lot of questions that Chuck… God… whatever he wanted to be called, needed to answer. He longed to go back to his Father and get answers, but he couldn't. Not yet. The other angels would try to stop Cas if they knew what he was up to and he couldn't take that chance and so he was in hiding. For all everyone else knew, Chuck was the new prophet. He was guarded by Raphael. To go near that house would let the angels know that he was still alive; and then he'd be on the run from them. The angels just needed to think that he was dead… at least for now.


	5. A Very Supernatural Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how small this chapter is, I just really wanted to write this part but couldn't see Cas doing much.
> 
> Also, I'm well aware it's been over a week since my last update and I'm sorry about that. I had planned on posting this chapter on 24th but I spent the entire day watching Teen Wolf and making a dress so I forgot

Dean flinched back as the woman came near him, he couldn't help it, she was vile and evil and he was probably going to die now. He could hear his brother shouting in pain as the man tortured him and Dean was in a murderous mood because of it. He needed to get out of these ropes, he needed to save his brother and himself. The meadowsweet around his neck rubbed and itched every time he twisted to loosen his restraints, but without a distraction he wouldn't be able to get free.

Dean took a deep breath, this was it he supposed. He and Sam would likely die here and then he'd go to hell. He scowled up at the woman as she brought the bowl to him, her knife glinted in her hand, covered in Sam's blood. He may have sworn as she dug the knife into his skin but he wasn't entirely sure; swearing was just his body's way of releasing his anger so he no longer felt like he would explode. It was natural, like screaming.

"Oh goodness me! Somebody owes a nickel to the swear jar. Do you know what I say when I feel like swearing? Fudge," The woman, well Pagan God, said to him and he scowled as she brought down the knife to his arm again. He had a little more control of himself now and so could think more coherently.

"You fudging touch me again and I'll fudging kill ya!" He shouted and the woman smiled at him.

"Very good," she appraised and lowered the blade onto his other arm, slicing the skin. Dean's mind was running a mile a minute, adrenaline had started to burn and he struggled once more to get free without either of the Gods noticing. The adrenaline wouldn't last long but he didn't think _he'd_ last long either. Dean felt sick as he thought over his behaviour from the previous weeks; he'd been so reckless. He was given permission to scheme his way out of the contract but hadn't thought he'd be able to and so he'd been hasty in his hunts. Like just last week when he was hunting that vamp before he ran into Gordon. He'd cut his arm open, not unlike the Pagan God had just done to him, and lured the vampire with his scent. He had been so sure that it didn't matter if he died then, because he was going to hell either way so why not use it to his advantage. Even afterwards he hadn't cared that he could have died. But he'd just been numb to it all and he wasn't anymore. Dean felt the fear that he might die course through his veins and he knew that he didn't want to give up and act that way again. If he could just live past this day.

The woman was still leaning over him and he could hear Sam behind him and feel his brother struggling against the restraints, when suddenly a hand grabbed onto the woman's head from behind and she started screaming as a bright light started to glow in her eyes. Dean was fighting the urge to look away when the male Pagan God pushed at the person holding his wife, who Dean couldn't quite see. Then a man stumbled backwards into Dean's line of vision, it was the trickster. He looked exactly the same as every other time they'd met; scruffy, well-worn clothes with a gun belt hanging loosely around his waist, his hair an un-styled, floppy mess and the start of a beard that never seemed to change or look recently trimmed even though it never seemed to grow.

The trickster looked slightly startled by both of the Gods' strength when the woman span herself around to face him. She grabbed hold of his arms, pinning them down and out of the way, as the male God neared the trickster while wielding a knife. There was a sudden burst of energy emanated from the trickster that hit both of the Winchesters, though it obviously wasn't aimed at them because it barely felt more than a gust of wind whereas the Gods were forced backwards by the energy.

The trickster turned to Dean and Sam and lifted his hand at them, their bonds broke immediately and both brothers scrambled out of the chairs and onto their feet.

"Run!" The trickster shouted, and they did. Both Winchesters rushed into the basement where they'd dropped their evergreen stakes. They grabbed the wood and turned to make their way back up the stairs when there was a sudden crash and a scream of anger from the female God.

Dean and Sam shared a look before bounding up the steps two at a time. They were in a rush; the trickster was fighting two Gods and if he were to loose and die then they would be stuck in this basement and probably wouldn't survive the night. At least if they attacked the Gods too then they would have a fighting chance for survival.

When they got back into the kitchen there was a hole in the wall where the male God was lying, dead. His eyes were smoking the slightest bit and looked like they'd been burnt out of his skull. The female God was angrier than ever before and more vicious. She attempted to bite a chunk out of the trickster's arm but he dodged her attack. Dean didn't waste any time and rushed forwards. He plunged his stake into the woman's back, getting right between the ribs and into the fleshy muscle of her heart. The God coughed and spluttered as she went into cardiac arrest and died seconds later.

Dean panted as he let go of his hold on the woman and the body dropped to the floor with a wet thud. He looked up into the blue eyes of the trickster and conveyed his gratitude for saving them in that one look. The trickster nodded and looked like he was going to disappear when Sam rushed forward.

"You're bleeding," the youngest Winchester said in a voice that was strained with the effort of hiding his worry. Both Dean and the Demi-God looked down at the direction that Sam was staring at and they noticed the dark red of blood on the trickster's shirt, growing at every second.

The Trickster lifted up the shirt to unveil his taut, muscled abdomen and the gaping gash that was spread over it. Then the skin began to knit together before their eyes, sealing the wound with only the thick red liquid to prove it had ever been there.

"I'm fine," he said, pulling the shirt back down. "I thought I told you two to leave."

"We're not going to leave a job unfinished," Dean said and there were a few seconds of silence until Sam piped up again.

"What was that light? I mean I couldn't really see because I was facing the other way but it looked like you were causing it," Sam questioned with a slightly fascinated look that made Dean roll his eyes. But the trickster never answered and, a second later, disappear from their sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would really appreciate a few reviews as late birthday presents to help cheer me up. If I get just one review for this chapter then I promise that I will post the next one tomorrow.


	6. Dream a little Dream of Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, I got reviews so I'm updating again. Sorry once more for the widely varying chapter lengths, this one is longer than most of the others because there's just so much that could happen. It's also one of my more favourite chapters of the ones that are based on S3 episodes (although, in my opinion, the better ones don't come until after the 'No Rest for the Wicked' chapter)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has read, commented, bookmarked, subscribed and given kudos to this fic.
> 
> Please review to let me know what you think of this chapter.

Cas had long since finished his reading of the collection of Doyle books and was onto Jane Austen novels. He found the story lines less enticing than that of the Sherlock Holmes mysteries but enjoyed them none the less.

A great sadness was caught from both Dean's and Sam's sensors and Cas prepared himself for whatever was wrong as he stretched his wings and flew to his friends. He landed invisibly so that he could scope the room and was shocked and saddened to find Bobby lying on a hospital bed and linked to machines. Bobby had been a good friend of his in the future and he had considerably missed the grumpy man. He didn't hesitate in his decision to heal his old friend.

He turned visible next to Bobby's bed and both the Winchesters stiffened at his presence. They didn't like him being here and they _really_ didn't like when he lowered his hand onto the comatose man's head.

"What are you doing?!" Dean shouted as he ran towards him and grabbed a hold of Cas' arm. But Dean wasn't strong enough to stop him. He touched his palm to Bobby's forehead and pushed his grace inside in order to heal his mind and force him awake. Dean was shouting in his ear, telling him to leave Bobby alone when the man sat up suddenly in his bed with heavy breaths. Dean fell silent as Cas removed his hand and Sam rushed to his pseudo father's side.

"Bobby! Hey! You alright?" Sam asked in a hushed tone and Dean let his grip on the angel fall as he looked down at Bobby. The man was breathing heavily as he recovered from his induced nightmare and Cas slowly stepped away to give him some room with his surrogate children.

"Course I'm alright, boy" Bobby muttered and Sam laughed light heartedly.

"Thank you," the youngest Winchester said in earnest as he turned his eyes to Cas. The overwhelming sadness that had been emitting from both brothers had completely faded now and he could no-longer sense their emotions without reading their minds.

"What happened Bobby?" Dean asked quietly and the older man went into an explanation about the dream walker. Cas pondered his memory as he recalled the books and about how they were going to get dream root from Bela and she would steal the colt from them…

He stuck around and said he wanted to help and, even though Bobby and Dean were both suspicious of him, no-one objected. It was a two days later when they realised that it was impossible to find him, even Cas couldn't, and Bobby was tired.

"I think I'm just gonna have to go back to sleep and fight him off that way," Bobby muttered around a yawn.

"That's not very wise," Cas said at the same time that Dean and Sam expressed their dislike of the plan.

"I can't avoid sleep forever"

"You can't face him _alone_ , Bobby," Sam said in a concerned voice.

"Well there ain't exactly a lot of options, boy"

"We can take some of that dream-root crap and come too"

"And where are you going to get some?" Bobby said cynically.

"Crap," Dean muttered.

"What?"

"Bela"

"Bela? Crap," Sam responded.

"I can put you into Bobby's dream without the root," Cas stated and all three men turned to look at him.

"No offence, but I'm not really liking the idea of you being in my head" Bobby said cautiously and Cas shrugged his shoulder.

"I don't need to go in to send these two in"

"Hell no," Dean exclaimed.

"Dean… I hate to say it," Bobby started, "but it's the best idea we've got. Bela ain't exactly going to offer up the root for free."

Dean looked over at Sam for back-up but Sam agreed with Bobby and so the eldest Winchester gave in. Cas once again placed his hand on Bobby's forehead and pushed his grace inside, this time to make him sleep. After he was done, he sent the brothers in too while he waited in the room to watch out for them.

[] [] []

"You're going to die! And _this_ … this is what you're going to become!" Cas reached out and grabbed the dream-Dean's head. He pushed his grace into it and disintegrated it, the body dropped, dead. Dean looked up at him with wide eyes and Cas shrugged.

"It was annoying me," he said simply and walked off. Dean followed.

"What the _hell_ are you doing here?" Dean shouted and Cas scoffed a laugh. He'd been doing as they asked and waiting outside of Bobby's head when he felt pulverising fear attack Dean and he'd jumped in without a second thought. "And why do you look like a tax accountant?" Cas froze and looked down at himself. Sure enough, he was wearing his old suit and tan overcoat. He smiled lightly and rubbed at his chin, feeling that his stubble was shorter and more tamed, he then ran his hand through his hair. He was exactly how he _used_ to be.

"I guess that, since I'm in here too, the dream has taken some of my memories as well," Cas chuckled. "I've missed this," he said and Dean frowned in confusion.

"Well, yeah, I have to admit you look a lot better than the 'hobo' look you usually have."

"I think I'll stay this way from now on," Cas nodded to himself and then looked at Dean, frowning. "Where's your brother?"

"We got separated"

"Great," he muttered sarcastically, when he landed in Bobby's head he'd only _just_ managed to sense Dean, and he knew him extremely well, however in the future he hadn't seen much of Sam past when Lucifer rose so there was _no way_ he was going to be able to track him.

"Can't you find him?" Dean asked worriedly.

"No; dreams are completely different to reality and I'm not as powerful here. But don't worry, I'm sure he's fine."

"You seemed pretty powerful back there," Dean said snidely and Cas smirked.

"That was easy… tracking is different. I only managed to find you because of the contract," Cas lied easily, thinking it best to not mention their bond… Dean barely even knew him yet. They walked aimlessly for a short time; at first in an alleyway, then the buildings turned to trees and right up ahead there was… Cas froze.

Dean walked ahead a few steps before noticing and turned back to him. But Cas was staring wide eyed at the camp that lay just ahead of those trees. Camp Chitaqua. Castiel took a few deep breaths and moved forwards again, towards the camp.

"What was that about?" Dean asked him.

"You should stay here," he replied with a tight voice and the hunter next to him shook his head.

"No."

"Dean…"

"Do you think I'm going to let you run around inside Bobby's head by yourself? No. I'm going anywhere you are." Cas stopped at the entrance of the camp and turned to his friend.

"This is part of _my_ dream, Dean… do you _really_ want to know what I dream about?" Cas asked, though technically he never dreamt because he didn't sleep. But he meditated occasionally and sometimes his mind wandered into a dream-like state. Dean seemed to pale at the thought of that, but he still nodded.

"Lead the way."

Cas turned and stalked into the camp; he had to check it out in case the dream walker was hiding out there but he _really_ didn't want to; especially not with Dean by his side. The two walked through the deserted camp, moving through every cabin and checking every room. When they got to his cabin, Cas concentrated on a picture there; one where himself, Dean and Chuck posed with their weapons and a friendly smile Cas used his grace to turn Dean's face into someone else from the camp and then he carried on checking the cabin. He turned around to see Dean holding the picture and frowning.

"Where are we?" he asked as he put the frame back on the table, but Cas just walked outside again. They checked every single cabin at the camp and there was only one place left to check. He sighed and walked towards the graveyard with Dean in tow. In his time there was around fifteen graves, but in his dream there was more like seventy. All of them were the people that had resided in their camp.

Cas skimmed his gaze across the area and was satisfied that no-one was there, but he couldn't bring himself to turn around just yet. He took a deep breath and slowly walked up to a specific grave near the back of the lot. He crouched next to it and dipped his head in sadness. It was Dean's grave. Dean watched Cas' actions; he could see the grief and sadness on his face and realised what a personal moment it was for him and suddenly felt bad for insisting on coming with him. Cas had tears in his eyes as he looked up at Dean, but he blinked them away; leaving Dean to wonder if they're really been there at all.

"This is my family," Cas said quietly, answering Dean's previous question. He looked around at the rest of the graves; he had known the people buried here for years. He would have died for any one of them.

"Big family," Dean noted and Cas scoffed a laugh.

"You haven't met my other one yet… and lets pray you never have to." Dean looked at him confused and Cas sighed. "You aren't the only ones who believe family is more than blood." Dean nodded and Cas looked back at the grave and then sighed. "He's not here… we should leave and try somewhere else." he got up and then his heart almost stopped when he saw Sam looming behind his friend. But it wasn't Sam… it was Lucifer. Cas quickly withdrew his blade and Lucifer chuckled, Dean turned in surprise and smiled at who he thought was his brother.

"Dean, that's not Sam. Step _back_!" Cas shouted and Lucifer smiled and withdrew his own blade.

"Don't worry Castiel, I'm not going to hurt him as long as he stays out of my way." Cas tried to move towards him but his ankle was suddenly grabbed. He looked down to see a hand raised out of Dean's grave and holding him. It was the kind of unmovable grip that could only happen in dreams and Cas cursed in anger. He struggled to get free as Lucifer approached him. " _Y_ _ou_ , on the other hand…" Dean looked around for something to use to his advantage and then saw that the other members of Cas' family were also rising from their graves.

"You stop using them!" Cas shouted in anger and sadness, he swung at Lucifer but the Archangel was able to jump out of the way and leaned forward with his own blade to knock Cas' away. Lucifer then grabbed Cas' shoulder and pushed him backwards and onto the floor, he aimed his blade ready to stab at him. Dean struggled with what to do then he suddenly thought about the colt and it materialised in his hand. He didn't have the time to stand in shock, he aimed the gun and fired it into Lucifer's head. Cas immediately jumped off the ground and to his feet.

"You okay?" Dean asked him.

"He's not dead" Cas panted out as he searched the ground for his blade. He knew that the gun wouldn't work on an Archangel. He didn't have time to find his blade before Lucifer was standing again.

"Ouch," he said and then attacked Dean. He pushed him up against a building wall and raised his hand ready to snap his neck using his grace. Cas felt sick with worry and then finally glinted his blade in a bush. "That wasn't very nice Dean." Cas grabbed his blade and plunged it into the Archangel's chest. The angel burst with light as he died and thankfully didn't leave any wing-shaped scorch marks in the ground.

"Who the _hell_ was that?" Dean shouted at him. "And why did he look like Sam?" Cas sighed and looked back towards the graves; the people buried in them had stopped raising but limps and sometimes heads were sticking out from the ground, in one case the whole top half of a rotting body.

"He was my brother." Cas spit the words out as if they disgusted him, which they _did_. He walked over to Dean's grave and was thankful that only his hands were out of the dirt. He crouched by his former lover and placed one hand on the mud, the body started to move again, this time shrinking back into the ground. He swallowed hard at having to re-burry his lover and breathed heavily from the ache in his chest.

"Why was he wearing _my_ brother?" Dean asked, but more sensitively now.

"It's a dream, our thoughts probably got muddled and produced him… I know what Azazel said to you… he made you wonder if that really _is_ Sam that I brought back; so you've probably been worrying that something like this could happened," Cas answered softly and ran his hand over the grave beneath him gently, saying goodbye. He then got up and left, all the other bodies were still half out of their graves but Cas didn't make a move to change that; he wanted to but it would take up too much of his power.

"Was that your…" Dean paused, searching for the right words since the hands had obviously been male, "partner?"

"Yes" Cas said simply and they walked out of the camp.

"And your name is _Castiel_?" Cas looked at him and frowned.

"Yes"

"No wonder you didn't tell me, it's quite a mouthful," Cas smiled but Dean could still see the heartbreak in his eyes.

"I didn't tell you because I faked my death." Cas said quietly as he thought his way through this mess he'd created, trying to keep it as close to the truth as possible. That way it would be more plausible and easier to remember. Technically, he hadn't really faked his death but, with his sudden disappearance, all the angels would think he was dead by now. "There are a lot of monsters out there that would have some questions for me if they knew I was alive and they wouldn't hesitate to torture or kill you if they thought you knew where I am."

"Mind being a little less vague? What are we talking about here?" Cas sighed and looked at the Winchester.

"My brothers and sisters, for one…" Dean gulped as he thought that over; one of them in a dream had been bad enough, but Cas said that his other family was huge…

"Why do they want you?"

"It's… complicated."

"Well if you want me to keep your name a secret then I'm going to need more than that," Dean said and Cas looked at him with surprise. "So, what d'ya say Cas? Story telling time?" Castiel smiled at his nickname and nodded. He couldn't tell Dean the complete truth… but maybe a little wouldn't hurt.

"My older siblings… they wanted to start a war that would have had devastating effects on the human population and the world itself. Many of us didn't know about this, we were just the grunts, blindly following orders. I found out about what was _really_ happening and so I attempted to stop it… I'm _still_ attempting to stop it…"

"Why do you care?" Dean asked with a frown and Cas lifted his eyes, catching Dean's green ones.

"You are flawed creatures, but you're better than us by far. I don't want to see any more of you die," Dean's brow furrowed and Cas looked away.

"So… you're family. The one back at the camp, they were human?" Cas nodded but then remembered Chuck.

"Most of them, yes"

"Right… I've got to say, you're the first monster I've met that actually thinks we're better than you"

"Well, the rest of them obviously haven't spent time with my siblings," Cas joked. "So you believe me?"

"Yeah… God help me, but I do" Dean muttered, making Cas smile. It was only a quick involuntary twist of lips before he forced himself back into his character.

He could feel it becoming harder and harder to act like he didn't care about the Winchesters, sometimes his mask would drop and they could see him as who he really was. He wasn't yet sure if it would be a good or bad thing if he just dropped the act all together… so until he decided, he would carry on the same as he'd started.

"So," Dean said while scouting the area in front of them, "what happened back with the Pagan Gods? Why do you keep coming to help?" He asked before quickly adding, "not that I'm complaining"

Cas chuckled a little at Dean's words.

"The contract is a strong bond between us, through it I sensed your pain when they were torturing you. I came because you two are fairly interesting… it'd be a shame for you to die"

"Wow… really feeling the love," Dean said dryly and Cas huffed out a laugh. He thought back a week ago to when he had felt Dean being tortured and could barely hold in the shudder. The pain itself hadn't been too bad, he knew they had felt a lot worse and so he didn't go straight away when he felt the cut on Sam's arm. It was only when he felt a similar cut on Dean's that he had gotten suspicious. When he had focused on the sensor inside Dean he had felt the sadness and anger and horrifying fear that went with it and he hadn't wasted any time in flying to their assistance.

He knew that they had been facing Pagan Gods because the sensors had warned him, but he hadn't expected the Gods to be as strong as they were. They'd had several sacrifices in the past few weeks and so their reflexes were fast and they were powerful. But he was still an angel, and no matter how strong they were, they couldn't kill him without an angel blade.

"I suppose that if I asked about that light, then you wouldn't tell me?" Dean asked and Cas shook his head, there was no way to explain that he could burn evil out of a body by his mere touch to their core. "Well, whatever it is, it sure comes in handy"

That's when Cas felt the dream-world shake and become unstable. The dream-walker was dying.

_**(Dean's Point of View)** _

Dean woke up with a harsh breath, his mind and body hurt at how sudden the dream had collapsed. He sat up and saw Cas standing in the room and staring at him. The trickster looked the same as he had done in the dream; his hair was short and windswept, his stubble was tamed and barely there and his somewhat dirty hippy clothes were replaced with a suit, blue tie and a tan overcoat. Cas nodded at him once and then disappeared.

"Was that the _trickster_?" Sam ask, shocked and Dean looked over to wear he was sitting in one of the chairs at the table, having gone to sleep there.

"Sure looked like," Bobby muttered from the other bed in the room as he rubbed at his temple.

"He was in the dream," Dean said quietly and Bobby turned to face him, he didn't look happy about that. "Showed up not long after we got separated and he was looking like that… said something about it being a memory and that he was going to stay that way from now on." Dean said around a yawn. "What happened to the dream-walker?"

"I… I don't really know how, but I brought his biggest fear into the dream… his Dad"

"More of that psychic stuff?" Bobby asked and Sam shrugged, looking a little uneasy at the thought.

"No, I did something similar," Dean said, thinking about how the colt had materialised, "dreams are different than reality, we can do things we wouldn't normally be able to." Sam seemed relieved by his answer and smiled ever so slightly. "By the way, I think you're right about the trickster… killing him won't do any good, we've got to find a different way around the deal."

"What made you change your mind?" Sam asked and Dean shrugged, he took a moment to think what he could tell his family about Cas and decided that, as long as they didn't know his _real_ name, he could tell them pretty much everything.

"I was in his dream for a bit and… I don't know, it was an experience."

"What'd you find out?" Bobby asked and Dean shrugged again.

"Not much… his name's Cas. I don't think it's his real name but it's something. Also, his brother's a dickhead."

"I guess I can relate to him there…" Sam muttered and Dean glared at him.

"Bitch"

"Jerk"


	7. Mystery Spot

Castiel rubbed at his forehead as he attempted to fly towards Sam and Dean, but every time he tried his mind got scrambled and he forgot what he was doing and ending up doing something else instead. It was an obvious decoy that only _Gabriel_ would think of doing and it was really getting on his nerves. Castiel knew the exact moment that the Winchesters came near to the Archangel and if the perception filter was anything to go by, then Gabriel knew as well. Cas could easily break the field of energy that surrounded the filter and prevented him from entering… but it would alert his brother to the fact he was there and he _really_ didn't need that right now. So instead he was left to test the walls, see if one part of the filter was weaker than the others.

And then Dean died.

Because of Dean's sensor, Cas felt the bullet pierce the man's chest. He felt the spluttering of Dean's heart as it tried and failed to keep the blood circling his body. He felt him go into cardiac arrest and he felt the exact moment when his body gave out.

And then the day restarted.

Castiel's head spun and he felt something akin to whiplash… this was _not_ good. He remembered this from one of the books and it had gone on for weeks. But he couldn't let that happen. Castiel felt sick at the idea of having to feel Dean's death again; he felt none of the physical pain but it made him emotionally distraught. So he started going at the walls of energy with more determination. But the next time Dean died it was a lot sooner than it had been the first time. He was hit by something travelling at high speed, probably a car or bus. This time he died of respiratory arrest when his lungs and other organs stopped working; it took longer for him to die. On day three he was hit by something else, but it was different. His organs were destroyed and he died on impact.

By the time that Dean started choking on day four, Cas was a mess. He couldn't get through the _damned_ wall without alerting Gabriel… and letting the Archangel know that he was there could be a very big mistake. But it was just one he was going to have to make. Cas gathered a small amount of grace and used it to push through the perimeter. He landed invisibly in a heap on the floor of the Winchesters' motel room. He stood up slowly and looked around, it was first thing in the morning and Sam was just getting out of bed as Dean sang along to a song that was playing from the alarm clock. Sam looked as fed-up as Cas felt and he remembered that out of everyone in the town, only the trickster, who Cas now realised must have been Gabriel, and Sam remembered the repeated days. Cas had felt Dean die… but Sam had seen it. And he was beginning to look numb.

"You need to leave," Cas said as he appeared in front of the Winchesters. "Right _now._ " Both the brother's looked shocked by his sudden appearance but that only lasted a few seconds.

"Why?" Dean asked and Cas pointedly looked at Sam. It would be better coming from Sam than himself.

"We're caught in a time loop and you… you keep dying," Sam muttered, "and then the day resets. And it's Tuesday again."

"That's crazy."

"Not necessarily," Cas said and both brother's turned to look at him once more. He was feeling uneasy at how he'd broke his way through the wall and it was showing by his fidgeting, but Gabriel could show up at any second.

"Okay… well how come I don't remember any of this?" Dean asked agitatedly.

"Because you're not supposed to remember. Only Sam is" Cas replied. _He_ wasn't even supposed to remember any of the days and he wouldn't have if it wasn't for the sensor he had placed inside Dean; if Cas wasn't able to sense Dean's death, then every time that the day reset his own day would play out the exact same way. And if there was no changes to his own day then the resetting wouldn't affect him and he wouldn't remember them..

"Why does it keep happening?" Sam asked desperately and it reminded Cas, once again, about how many times Sam had been unable to do anything except watch his brother die in the past few days.

"One of my brothers is doing it."

Dean, who had been standing by his bed, seemed to stand up a little straighter and Cas knew without even having to read his mind, that Dean was remembering Lucifer from the dream. Dean nodded and moved to grab his bag from the table and start packing when he suddenly slipped on his own feet and went hurtling towards the ground. His head banged loudly on the corner of his end table and cracked his skull open. Cas didn't even have chance to move and heal him before the day was reset.

He found himself back in the safe house he created and cursed loudly.

His head span. He had felt _and_ seen Dean die this time and it was worse than he had thought it'd be. He felt his normal whiplash feeling from being forced back to the beginning of the day again. But this time it felt even more horrible because he'd been flung hundreds of miles away from where he had been when the last loop had ended. He took too long to be able to find the ground under his feet when he stood up and by the time he thought he might be able to fly again Dean had already died. He'd bled out from being shot several times.

Castiel felt weak and sick when the day restarted and he knew it was because of Gabriel. The Archangel had to know that Cas was trying to interfere with what he was doing and so instead of attempt to kill him, he decided to do this to keep him at bay. But Cas was stronger than Gabriel knew and so he shook off the feeling quicker and forced himself through the field once again. He was later getting through then he thought he'd be and by the time he found the brothers, they were just walking into a diner. He stood across the street and saw them walking right past Gabriel without either Winchester noticing. Cas stared at the Archangel with trepidation… he was stronger than Gabriel now, but he still feared his older brother's power. After about five minutes Gabriel left the diner and Cas felt safe enough to enter. He walked in and stood next to Sam and Dean's table. Sam looked relieved to see him and instantly scooted over in his seat so the angel could sit down, but Dean seemed worried. When Dean noticed Sam's reaction his look turned suspicious and a bit hurt which confused Cas but he didn't have the time to investigate further.

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked warily, casting his eyes back and forth between Sam and Cas.

"There's no time to explain again," Cas said to Dean and then turned to face Sam. "Why haven't you left yet?"

"Make time," Dean said angrily with a slightly raised voice and Cas flexed his jaw as he took a deep breath in through his nose and ignored the eldest Winchester. Sam seemed to want to explain to Dean but he knew that Cas was right and they might not have the time to.

"The car broke down yesterday when we were on the way out of here; Dean couldn't fix it so it went to the garage and he got shot when the place was robbed."

"What the _hell_ are you two on about?!" Dean all but shouted angrily at them and Cas understood but he couldn't help.

"Well I can barely get myself _in_ here so I don't think I can fly you out," Cas muttered, "I'm going to have to talk to my brother."

"Wait. _What_ about your brother?" Dean asked, looking a little scared and Cas took a deep, annoyed, breath.

"He stuck Sam in Groundhog Day," Cas said curtly to Dean; he used the film that he had once watched with Dean as a way to get the eldest Winchester to understand without having to waste time explaining.

"O-kay…" Dean said, drawing out the word, "and now you want to _talk_ to him? Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I don't _want_ to talk to him. I have to"

"Still…"

"I should start looking for him" Cas said suddenly and stood up from the bench. He walked straight out of the diner without another thought. He'd seen Gabriel sitting at a table and the best way to find him would just be to wait until the day reset itself… but he didn't want to have to feel Dean die again.

However, he only had a few minutes before he felt Dean being impaled in the chest. He'd died almost instantly and Cas was sent back to his safe house.

He took several deep breaths and sat out the dizzy spell that overcame him. When he got back to Dean and Sam they were in the diner. He looked inside and wished that he could take his time confronting Gabriel… but he couldn't indulge his cowardice because Dean could die at any moment.

Cas walked into the diner. Dean noticed him instantly and Sam turned around to see him as well, not expecting the angel to walk right past them and sit by the man eating pancakes at the counter. Sam realised straight away that the man must be Cas' brother and he stood up angrily but Cas just glared at him until he sat back down.

"Castiel," Gabriel muttered around a mouthful of pancakes, "tell me… why do you have such an interest in the Winchesters?"

"I could ask you the same question"

Gabriel shook his head and motioned at him with his fork.

"No. I'm just doing this because it's fun. But you. You've got something up your sleeve. I can tell."

"You could say that," Cas said. His wardings couldn't hide that he was an angel from someone as strong as his brother, they couldn't even hide his identity. But they _did_ hide his true power.

"From what I remember, you were never one hundred percent obedient… but to come down here and take a vessel? I didn't expect that. You must have one hell of a reason… so what is it?" Cas felt Dean and Sam's restlessness radiating off them and knew that he didn't have too much time left to talk to his brother before they would intervene. He sighed in slight discomfort and ignored the question

"You need to let them go."

"You expect me to believe that _that's_ your reason? You weren't obedient but you were still a good soldier. If you had noticed something was going on and investigated, finding out that it was me, you would have informed others and Michael would be sitting next to me right now. Not you."

"Gabriel, you need to stop with this game."

"I'm having too much fun" Gabriel laughed darkly and stood up, apparently no-longer caring about Cas' reasoning. Cas grabbed his arm in a strong hold to keep him from moving.

"If you don't stop… then _I_ will stop you," Cas said mincingly with a hard stare. Gabriel smirked and was about to retort when Cas dropped his barriers. He dropped his warding for a brief second and allowed the Archangel to see _exactly_ how powerful he was. Gabriel's slightly fear-widened eyes were the only evidence that he'd noticed before the Archangel fled the diner. Cas was surprised when he looked around and noticed that no-one but the Winchesters had seen Gabriel's disappearance.

Both of the brothers walked over to him at the same time that he felt the field around the city disperse.

"He's gone now but I still suggest that you leave too."

"We'll get right on that… thanks," Dean added after a seconds pause; Sam must have explained to him about what was going on.

"Why was he doing it?" Sam asked and Cas shrugged.

"He said it was 'fun'"

"He was your brother? You're telling me that's just a coincidence?" Dean asked.

"I have many siblings"

"What did you tell him to make him stop?" Dean continued and Cas shook his head and sighed loudly.

"That's not important… look, next time you need my help, just try praying. I'm a Norse God, I'll hear," he said, and then he turned invisible. A man sitting a few tables away dropped his fork back onto the table as he saw it and both the Winchesters left the diner quickly. Cas followed them until they left the town to make sure they weren't going to be harmed and he couldn't help but overhear their conversations. He wasn't all that shocked to hear that, with him being secretive about his brother, they weren't feeling too trusting of him and they probably wouldn't be praying any time soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, sorry. They're warming up to Cas, but they also still think he's a monster. Sam and Dean aren't quite trusting yet… but don't worry, they'll get there eventually :)
> 
> Also, in case anyone forgot, the reason why Gabe was so shocked about Cas taking a vessel in particular is because they were like forbidden or something at the time.


	8. Jus in Bello

Cas had been attempting to avoid Gabriel since they'd met, but the Archangel was searching him out. He wasn't sure why his brother was doing it but Cas knew that he shouldn't talk to him about _anything_. He took a deep, unneeded, breath and flew away as he felt his brother approaching. It had been like this for several days now and he was tired. Not physically tired, he could quite literally do this for years, but mentally tired. He didn't _want_ to keep avoiding his brother.

Cas felt a warning go off in his grace not long after Dean was shot, it had only been a flesh wound on his shoulder and so was nothing to worry about… but now the sensors he'd left on the Winchesters picked up that they were in serious danger. He opened his mind to the information and his eyes widened in shock. There were at least thirty demons advancing on them, they'd be there in less than twenty minutes. He swallowed. He needed to go help them but he could already feel Gabriel was getting close again, and it was probably a bad idea to lead him to his friends.

Castiel took a deep breath and sent his location to Gabriel. A couple of seconds later the Archangel appeared.

"Hey bro, thanks for the invite."

"Leave me alone for a couple of days then I will be more than happy to answer your questions," Cas said bluntly because he didn't have a lot of time. Gabriel looked at him for a moment and nodded.

"Two days," then he disappeared. Cas sighed in both relief and frustration and flew towards his friends. He was, as always, invisible when he touched ground and he took a moment to take in his surroundings. Dean and Sam were in a cell, a tall black man with a shaved head wearing a suit was lying unconscious on the ground next to them, Dean was holding a gun at him, and another man was lying dead on the floor of the cell. A male officer and a woman were standing outside of the cell in a state of shock. The young woman stepped forwards.

"Is he… is he dead?" She whispered and a second later the black man began to cough and move on the ground.

"Hendrickson…" Sam said as he sat leaning against the bars of the cell and breathing slightly heavily. "Hey… is that you in there?" The man, Hendrickson, scrambled to a sitting position and pushed himself up onto the bed; Dean kept the gun pointed at the man's feet, ready to lift it and fire at him if needed. Hendrickson looked around in slight confusion and tilted his head.

"I…" he began, "I shot the sheriff"

Dean smiled lightly.

"But you didn't shoot the deputy," he said and Sam glared at him while Cas laughed; he chose that moment to show himself. Dean spun around and aimed the gun at him, Sam jumped to his feet and everyone else in the room stumbled backwards in shock and fear.

"Damn it, Cas! What the hell are you doing here?" Dean asked as he lowered the gun. Cas liked to hope that Dean had lowered it because he didn't want to shoot him, but he had a feeling it was more like he just knew it wouldn't do anything but piss him off.

"Oh, I just thought you'd like to know that there's more than thirty demons hightailing there way here." Sam and Dean shared a look.

"How many more?" Sam asked with a tight voice and Cas shook his head.

"I can't get a good read, there's too many travelling together as one."

"Well fuck," Dean said quietly, "do you know how long?"

"Fifteen minutes, maybe less." Dean nodded, looking at the floor while he thought.

"Thanks Cas," he said eventually, sounding a little bit defeated and Cas listened into his thoughts, shocked to hear that Dean had already decided that he was going to die tonight.

_**(Dean's Point of View)** _

It was hard for him to except, but he knew that he was going to die now. He was going to go to hell.

"I can fly you all out," Cas said and for a moment, Dean had hope. But then it got crushed once he came to his senses a second later.

"We can't leave a swarm of demons here doing God knows what without putting up a fight," Dean muttered solemnly and Cas nodded. Then the trickster disappeared.

"Shit," Sam mumbled beside him, "of all the times that Cas decided to help us out, now would be good."

Dean nodded but he completely understood. Helping them out now would be suicide. He couldn't blame Cas for leaving them, but he also couldn't help but wish that the trickster had stayed.

"Yeah, well there's no time to talk. We don't have very long," he turned around to face Hendrickson again and saw the man still hadn't recovered from being possessed; in fact Cas showing up had probably set him back a few steps. "You going to let us out of these things?" He asked with his hands raised to indicate the cuffs that were still on him. Hendrickson nodded and made a signal for the officer behind them to come closer.

"Keys," he said simply to the man and started to unlock their cuffs.

"By the way, we owe you the biggest 'I told you so' ever."

"Alright, so how do we survive?" Hendrickson asked a moment later.

"We start with these," said a deep voice from behind them and Dean jumped and spun around to see Cas standing there once more. His stomach uncurled slightly at the sight of the trickster as he held up several anti-possession necklaces. Dean also noticed one of his duffel bags hanging off Cas' shoulder that seemed to be filled with guns. The trickster put everything he was holding on a table and Dean nodded.

"Yeah, everyone put one on. They keep you from being possessed," Dean muttered. Hendrickson moved away from the brothers and towards the table at the same time that Cas moved towards them. Cas lifted his hand and placed it on Dean's shoulder, exactly where he'd been shot. Dean flinched away a little bit before he started to feel something being emitted from Cas. It was hard to describe exactly how it felt as the invisible force sunk into his body; it made him a bit light-headed and seemed as though his shoulder muscles were being caressed from the inside.

A second later, when Cas moved his hand, Dean was healed.

"Thanks," he said as he looked into the bright blue eyes that were shining at him; he didn't know what else to say, still too shocked by the fact that Cas had _come back_.

"You're welcome," the trickster replied and broke eye contact. "I got everything from your car but I couldn't find the colt."

"Yeah, Bela rang me yesterday asking for our help. We got there this morning just to be distracted by Hendrickson arresting us and she got away with the gun."

Cas narrowed his eyes as Dean spoke and disappeared again once he'd finished.

"I really wish he'd stop doing that," Dean muttered, mainly to himself but Sam heard and agreed.

"Does he do that a lot?" Hendrickson asked but before either of them could answer Cas was back. And he wasn't alone.

"Get _off_ of me!" Bela shouted at Cas as she tried to wriggle free from his grasp on her arm. Cas just looked at her coolly and handed Dean the colt.

"Yeah, let her go so I can shoot her," Dean said icily as he looked at Bela, a scowl on his face. He was getting increasingly annoyed by her and was about to start yelling when Cas interrupted him.

"Dean, we have less than ten minutes. We _need_ to start preparations."

Bela tugged more at Cas' grasp on her arm and the trickster let her go. She backed away from them but didn't flee the room like Dean thought she might. She looked scared, close to terrified. And Dean knew that even though he _really_ wanted a good screaming match with her, it would have to wait.

"Fine. We need salt and some kind of paint. Also a blueprint of the building would be good," he said as he turned to the FBI agent, police officer and secretary in the room.

"There's road salt in the store room," Nancy said quietly and Dean nodded.

"Perfect. We need salt at every window and door. What about the paint?"

"There might be some spray cans in lock-up"

"Okay, I'll go check," Sam said, "you three get started with the salt." They nodded and all four walked out the room, leaving just him, Cas and Bela.

"What's going on here?" The woman asked and Dean contemplated ignoring her but decided against it.

"We've got demons coming our way"

"How many?"

"About thirty," Cas answered for him and Bela's eyes widened.

"Take me back," she ordered at Cas, "right now. Take me _back_!" But the trickster just looked at her with boredom.

"You're the reason they're here and in this mess, so you're going to help. And unless you want your contract to end _ahead_ of schedule then you better start soon," he said coldly and Dean could see all the colour drain from the woman's face. He was shocked to hear about her demon deal but decided there was no time.

Dean went to find Sam while Cas and Bela helped to do the salt lines. The brother's used the blueprint to plan exactly where each devil's trap was needed and they both set out to paint them. Dean had just finished his last trap when Cas appeared next to him.

"They're here."

_**(Castiel's Point of View)** _

After the brief onslaught of black smoke with no entries, Dean pulled Cas aside. They walked away from the others and into a back room so they could talk easier.

"Why did you stay?" Dean asked and then hastened to add, "I'm glad you did, but I just want to know _why_ "

"The same reason as before; you and Sam are interesting… But I'm sure you didn't bring me back here just to ask me that. So what do you need, Dean?" Cas replied and Dean nodded to himself.

"That light thing that you don't want to tell us about… how many can you take out with it?"

Cas thought for a moment about Dean's question. He _could_ easily take out every demon here if they were all in the same room… but that much angel activity would _definitely_ alert some angels. And he just wasn't ready to face them yet.

"It wouldn't be very useful in this situation," he lied to Dean who nodded to himself again.

"Okay. Well in that case I need you to fly Sam and everyone else out of here. I don't want them getting hurt."

"Dean -" Cas started to object but his friend cut him off.

"No, Cas. I won't let my brother and all these innocent people die."

"And I won't leave you alone"

"Then leave behind Bela," Dean joked dryly, but his laugh afterwards was forced and filled with sadness.

"You're _not_ going to die today, Dean," Cas said determinately but before Dean could say anything else there was a loud crash in another room. The hunter and the angel rushed towards the noise, only to find Ruby standing in one of the devil's traps after breaking the glass window to get inside. They were the first ones into the room but others followed seconds later.

"How do we kill her?" Hendrickson asked as he aimed a shot gun to the demon.

"We don't," Sam said as he forced the gun to lower, "she's here to help us."

Cas could feel the tension and frustration rolling off of Dean beside him and it was mirrored in himself. Sam let Ruby out of the trap and she walked past all of them and out of the room. Everyone followed her out, Sam last after fixing the salt line.

"There's around thirty out there. So far," Ruby muttered to the room and everybody nodded. Cas couldn't stop glowering at her. "Lilith sent them, in case you're wondering"

"Who's Lilith?" Dean asked and Ruby turned to face Sam.

"You didn't tell Dean? Oh. I'm surprised," she muttered and Cas had a sudden urge to wipe the small smirk off of her face. "There's a big new up and comer. Real pied piper. And she _really_ , really wants Sam's intestines on a stick"

"Did you know about this?" Dean asked suddenly, turning to face Cas and he nodded. "Great. Did _no-one_ think to tell _me_ that a demon bitch is gunning for my brother?" Dean practically shouted.

"I figured you already knew," Cas muttered, and it was the truth. He turned to look at Sam and tilted his head at the younger brother. Ruby was now glaring at him; his wards had stopped her from knowing he was more than human but Dean's words had made her look closer and now she saw the warding.

"You must be the trickster I've heard so much about," she muttered dryly and squared her jaw. He glared back at her and answered coolly.

"I don't think we really have the time for introductions."

"No. I suppose we don't. We'll need the colt," she said, turning back to Sam.

"Got it right here," Dean muttered, taking the gun out of his jeans. "But we haven't got enough bullets for thirty demons."

"Well how many _have_ you got?"

"Ten. We haven't had chance to make more," Sam muttered and Ruby stood up and paced slightly in annoyance.

"Fine. Since I don't see that there's any other _option_ , there is one other way I know how to get you out of here alive"

"What's that?"

"I know a spell. It'll vaporise every demon in a one mile radius. _Myself_ included."

" _No_ ," Cas said forcefully; everyone in the room flinched from the power in his voice and turned to look at him.

"We don't exactly have much of a choice. They do this or they die," Ruby said, icily, and stepped close to him in an effort to intimidate him. He felt frustration boil underneath his skin and had to fight the idea of lowering his wards to give her a view of who she was _really_ messing with. But, luckily, Sam interrupted their staring match before he could do anything drastic.

"What's the spell?"

"She wants to sacrifice Nancy," Cas said dryly, glowering at the demon in front of him.

"What, are you crazy?" Dean said as he walked closer to them.

"I'm _offering_ a solution," Ruby answered snidely.

"You're offering to kill somebody!"

"And what do you think is going to happen to this girl once the demons get in?"

"We're going to protect her, that's what," Hendrickson added. As Dean, Ruby and Hendrickson were arguing Cas noticed that Sam was quiet. He turned to look at the youngest Winchester and ignored the conversation going on around him. Sam looked pale and sad, making Cas realised that Sam would do it. He'd sacrifice Nancy to save the others.

"We're _not_ sacrificing a virgin," Cas said strongly, making Dean very shocked and Ruby turned back to glower at him.

"Oh yeah? Well what's your big idea, dumb-ass?"

"I'll do what I've always done," Cas said and materialised his angel blade in his hand. "Fight." Ruby took a scared step backwards as she saw the blade and the room fell silent.

"Where'd you get that?" She asked quietly.

"Where'd you _think_?" Cas replied. The demon didn't know he was an angel, but now she could see the angel blade she knew he was strong enough to kill one, which made him too powerful to get on the wrong side of.

"What is it?" Dean asked, a little worried by the tension coming off of Ruby. Neither of them answered for several seconds.

"It kills demons, that's all you need to know," Cas answered and Ruby shook her head to clear it, though she still looked visibly scared

"Sam?" Ruby asked, bringing him into the argument. "You know I'm right." There was a few more seconds of silence.

"What the hell is going on?" Dean muttered, "Sam, _tell her_ "

"It's my decision," Nancy said, having already agreed to do it while Cas wasn't paying attention.

" _Stop!_ Stop. Nobody kill any virgins," Dean shouted and walked out of the room, pulling his brother along with him. Cas stayed in the silent room with the demon, the thief, the FBI agent, the police officer and the virgin while he waited for the brothers to get back and was relieved when Dean told them about the new plan. It was the best idea that they had.

[] [] []

A few minutes had passed since Ruby left when he started to sense Gabriel close by. He scowled and flew to find him. He was on the roof of a building across the road from the police station, looking out at the hoard of demons in front of the building.

"You need to leave," Cas encouraged.

"That's not going to happen."

"I said I would give you your answers if you left. You're not going to find out a thing if you hurt the Winchesters."

"I won't. Not now that I know they have a guardian angel on their shoulders," Gabriel said with a smirk. "And I never really was going to leave, just stay far enough back that you wouldn't notice me. But with all these demons…" Gabriel shrugged before continuing, "I figured that you'd need some help. Call it an act of good faith"

Cas took a deep breath in and let it out loudly as he thought. The looked over towards the demons on the ground and knew that he could use all the help he could get to keep these people alive.

"They're not going to like this," he said as he gave in. But before he would let his brother anywhere near the Winchesters he had to tell them what they knew so Gabriel wouldn't say something he was trying to hide. Like his name.

"Are you sure you don't want to be known as Cassy instead? It's got a much better ring to it then _Cas_ ," Gabriel said with a smile. "I want a code name too. I've been going by Loki for a while now so that's getting a bit boring… how about Spock? I could definitely pass as a Spock. Or maybe Sherlock…"

"Gabriel, we don't have time for this"

"Fine" he said grumpily, "just call me Gabe," the Archangel said and Cas agreed before they flew into the police station together.

Just like he thought, Sam and Dean weren't happy when he showed up in the middle of the room with Gabriel. They instantly recognised him as the trickster that they had previously faced and Dean demanded to know what was going on.

"This is Gabe. He's one of my brothers and he wants to help,"

"We _killed_ him," Sam said and Gabe shook his head, about to say something snarky when Cas answered instead.

"Stakes don't kill us. It's a lie," he never would have said it if it wasn't for the fact that all the real tricksters had died out long before Gabriel had taken up his witness protection on earth. Both Winchesters looked annoyed at having to work with Gabe, but they weren't going to argue any further. Which, Cas realised too late, is what Gabriel wanted them to do.

"What's the matter Dean-o? You still a bit upset about the Mystery Spot?" Gabriel asked politely and Sam's head instantly shot up to stare at the Archangel; it took a moment for Dean to understand. Gabriel momentarily shifted from the form he was currently in to the man he'd been disguised as when he'd put Sam into the time loop.

"You've _got_ to be kidding me," Dean said as he glared at the Archangel but he was talking to Cas. Sam was trying his hardest not to burst forwards and attack Gabriel. "You expect us to _work_ with that son of a bitch?"

"No. I don't. I didn't bring him here… he followed me. And rather than turn him away I realised that we might need him"

"If it makes you feel any better, I was _only_ going to keep killing Dean until you found out it was me. Then I'd send you into a dream where Dean was dead for good and leave you there until you finally accepted that you couldn't bring him back. Now is that so bad?" Gabriel said and Cas felt like hitting him.

"You're not _helping_ , Gabe," Cas said through gritted teeth and Gabriel shrugged.

"Fine. You want help? You're plan sucks. Someone is going to die and it'll probably be her," Gabe said gesturing towards Bela who looked even more out of place than even Nancy did.

"Why _me_?" Bela demanded and Gabriel shrugged again.

"You don't seem to be much of a team player."

"What are you thinking?" Cas asked to interrupt Bela's reply and Gabriel smiled at him.

"They let the demons in, then _we_ lock the doors, send them somewhere safe and play the tape. Simple"

[] [] []

Cas looked around him as the exorcise tape played and saw all the demons pounding at the windows and doors which were being held closed by his and his brother's grace. They weren't going to get out. When the last demon had evacuated it's host and been sent back to hell they retracted their grace back into themselves and looked around at the waking citizens.

"I'll wipe their memories. You go check on everyone," Gabriel said and Cas nodded before flying towards his friends.

"Cas?" Dean asked when he spotted the trench coat wearing angel. "What happened?"

"It went better than I thought it would. Gabe is covering up. It's safe for you all to leave"

"Thanks"

Cas felt Gabriel's presence in the room and turned to see him leaning against a wall. He excused himself and walked up to his brother, knowing that the only reason he was still around was because he was waiting for answers. He gestured that Gabe follow him as he walked out into a different room in the abandoned house they were standing in.

"So, little brother. What are you up to?" Gabriel asked as he took out a chocolate bar from his jacket and began to unwrap it.

"I'm trying to stop it," Cas answered.

"Stop what?"

He was trying to stop more than just the apocalypse, he was trying to stop Dean from changing, too, and stop Sam from drinking demon blood. He was trying to stop the never ending battle that both the Winchesters were being pushed into. But he couldn't tell Gabriel that.

"You _know_ what"

"Then you're insane. It can't be done. The fight can't be stopped" Gabriel said calmly, as if he was discussing what to have for dinner instead of the end of the world.

"I don't accept that"

"Well it's time to. Trust me, I've tried to find a way to stop it. They're my _brothers_ ; I didn't want to believe that they had to kill each other. But there's nothing we can do to prevent it."

"So what? You're just going to _give up_?!" Cas shouted at the Archangel's indifference. "Half the world is going to be torched. Billions of people are going to die! They're better than us and you know it, _I_ know it and I've not been here among them _half_ as long as you have. So how can you just let them all die without fighting?!"

"I think I'm going to need to know more about this war," said a voice coming behind Cas and the angel spun around. Dean was standing there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking that Dean had never really died on that Wednesday in Mystery Spot because it was six months later when Sam got him back, yet in Season 4 he had broken the first seal and risen after only 4 months. So I thought that I'd add my headcannon idea that them six months were just another part of Gabe's tricks and didn't actually happen in anything more than a dream.
> 
> I have another little headcanon about the Mystery Spot episode that I'll add in eventually too.


	9. Long Distance Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, but this is not the chapter Dean gets the truth. I wish it could be but I have big plans for that whole reveal.

Castiel stared at his friend in shock, he hadn't heard Dean behind them. He's a celestial being… no-one should be able to sneak up on him. Cas turned to look at Gabriel who shook his head at them and flew away. Great.

"If the war was that bad then why weren't me and Sam brought into this?" Dean continued, incredulously.

"You will be… but you're no good to me if you're in hell"

"So _that's_ why you keep saving my skin?" Dean asked and Cas nodded. "And why you stepped in to take the deal in the first place?" Cas nodded again. "Then why the _fuck_ didn't you just tell us that from the start?!"

"It's not that simple –"

"It's pretty simple" Dean insisted but was met by silence from Cas' side. "Fine. Well, I'm going to need more details," Dean demanded and Cas pondered over what he could tell his friend.

"Two of my brothers… you met one of them in my dream, they're extremely powerful and they believe that it's necessary to fight. But if that happened then the battle would be large and it would destroy half the planet. So, like I've said before, I'm trying to stop it."

"Why do they need to fight?"

"It's a long story. But… one of them disobeyed our rules so he was cast out and if he comes back then Michael has been ordered to fight him," Cas said, purposefully not mentioning Lucifer's name. "But that was many years ago; our Father has left now and his order is mute. But, in his absence, I found out that my most powerful brothers are planning to _make_ the disobedient return so that Michael can fight him… though they have to wait for a very… _specific_ event to occur before they can do anything." Cas' mind was aching with the effort to give Dean the details he demanded without anything angelic being included.

"What event?" Dean asked and Cas was once again forced to lie.

"I don't know. I only know that, whatever it is, it's very rare and it would be near impossible to make the disobedient return without it happening"

"Right, okay… what's with this 'the disobedient' crap? Are you not allowed to say his name or something…? Is he Voldemort?" Dean said in his usual sarcastic tone that he liked to use when a situation scared him. And, although Cas was much more educated when it came to pop culture references, he still didn't understand that one. He squinted his eyes and slightly cocked his head to the left which made a small smile appear on Dean's lips. "You know… the one who can't be named…" Dean continued before shrugging to himself. "You've _never_ watched Harry Potter."

"No. All the music and films I know are because of what my… partner liked." Cas muttered and paused for a moment, remembering how desperate Dean had been to educate him on his favourite songs and films, but he didn't recognise the name… maybe they just hadn't got around to watching it before everything went to hell… literally. "Is it a film that you like?"

"Erm… I guess. I mean it's not something I'd go out of my way to watch but if it's on the TV then I will," Dean said and Cas nodded, that would make sense as to why he'd never watched it before. "Okay, well. Is there anything me and Sam can do?"

"No, not until I find out more," Cas said and Dean nodded to himself.

Cas didn't want to leave just now but he knew that he couldn't just stick around; he didn't fit into this world, he never had and he probably never would. He could sometimes fool himself into thinking that he belonged but it was just a lie. Once the apocalypse has been stopped he would return to heaven and probably never see Sam or Dean again, so there was no point in getting more attached. With that thought, he unfurled his wings and flew away.

_**(Dean's Point of View)** _

Dean looked down at the phone in his hand. Could it have been his Dad? He didn't want to get his hopes up. But, what if it _was_ him? Surely he would be able to find him a way out of the deal. John Winchester was good like that, always able to find the loop holes.

He put the mobile back into his pocket and sat down in the impala for a good minute before he started the engine and drove back to the motel.

The drive only lasted about ten minutes and Dean thought over his options for the entirety of it. He wanted so badly to believe that it was really John. The drive back to the motel was torturously slow. He just wanted to know the truth. Sam wasn't there when he got back and so he grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge and downed it within seconds. He sat, mulling over the possibilities, for another minute before drinking his second beer, this time a little slower. Dean drained the contents of the bottle when Sam walked into the door. He got up and began to pace the room as he explained about the call.

"You really think it was Dad?" Sam asked wearily.

"I don't know… maybe," he replied, because he really didn't have an answer. "Do you think Cas would know?" He asked suddenly as the thought popped into his head. Sam looked in deep thought for a moment longer and then shrugged.

"It's possible. I mean, he seems to know a lot. Maybe… it's worth a shot?" Sam replied slowly and Dean nodded his head. Cas had told them to just _pray_ to him, but what if he was in the middle of something important? What if it had something to do with the war? And they just interrupted him for some damn phone call… he wouldn't exactly be happy. Dean rubbed at his forehead as he felt a headache coming on. Thinking about his Dad was bringing everything back, he was on the verge of tears. Not that he'd talk about it, but he could hear his own voice cracking with the strain of not crying. He didn't think he could handle finding out that it wasn't not really John.

Dean shook his head and threw himself down on the bed opposite his brother.

"Okay. How do we do this?" Dean asked and Sam shrugged again. "Great," he muttered under his breath and closed his eyes. "Well, here goes nothing…"

Dean closed his eyes and brought the trickster God to mind, started to picture him. It was something that he tried to avoid doing, but now he didn't really have a choice. He pictured the tall frame covered in the dirty trench coat, the dark messy sex hair, the piercing blue eyes and the gruff voice. Dean felt his body reacting slightly as he thought about Cas, but he shoved _those_ thoughts deep down and locked them into a box.

"Okay, Cas," Dean spoke, keeping the image of the trickster in mind. "We… erm… we could do with some help here and -"

"Hello Dean," said the gravelly voice next to him and Dean jumped a mile. He knew who it was, of course he did; he'd never heard _anyone_ with a voice that deep before. But he still wasn't used to the guy popping up without a sound. Cas was sitting right next to him on his bed with a smirk on his face, looking fairly amused.

Dean pushed down any inappropriate thoughts and got to work, explaining everything. Cas frowned and listened to everything Dean and Sam had to say.

"I'm sorry," he said delicately, "but that isn't your father"

Dean's heart sank and he bit at the inside of his cheek, nodding sullenly. Of course it wasn't, when did anything good ever happen to them?

"Do you know what it is?" Sam asked and Cas nodded.

"A Crocata."

_**(Cas' Point of View)** _

Cas stayed around long enough to help the Winchesters locate and kill the Crocata. He enjoyed helping them, it felt like the old days working with Dean; and even though he'd not worked with Sam much before, he'd always respected him as a hunter and considered the younger man a friend.

He was getting a bit restless though, Dean and Sam were still struggling to find a way out of the deal. Cas could easily break it and it looked more and more likely that was going to happen, but he worried about what affects that might have on the timeline. He wasn't from this time which meant anything he did would have more chance of resetting time than if Sam or Dean did it.

Dean lifted his head from where he was putting his bags into the trunk of the impala and looked over to the angel before slowly walking over to Cas' side. They stood side by side for several minutes, neither saying a word. Sam was currently in the motel room and packing away his things.

"I'm sorry that it wasn't your father," Cas repeated quietly.

"It's not your fault, Cas," Dean replied tightly. They went quiet again for a few moments before Dean turned to look at him again. "So, where's your brother? I thought he'd be with you."

"No, I haven't seen him since the police station," Cas said and Dean frowned at him slightly.

"Why won't he help with the war?"

Cas licked his lips, slightly uncomfortable and not quite knowing how to answer all of Dean's questions. It was a lot more difficult to come up with believable answers than he originally thought it would be. Keeping answers close to the truth without revealing too much was becoming exhausting.

"This war is against my own kind, Dean. My own family. I will have to kill them and I've already accepted that… but Gabe hasn't."

Dean looked at Cas sadly and seemed to be about to say something else when Sam rushed out of the motel room. Dean looked at his younger brother for a moment before grabbing his bags and putting them into the boot of the car. Cas was about to leave when Sam called his name.

"Cas… hey, can I, erm… talk to you for a second?"

Castiel and Dean both turned to look at the taller, floppy haired Winchester. The angel nodded and followed Sam's lead back into the motel room, not quite sure what to expect. Sam sat down at the table next to his laptop, scanned the page and turned it around for Cas to see. It was an online article from a newspaper. He read the page in less than a second and raised curious eyes to meet Sam's.

"I saw this yesterday and it has a lot of similarities to Doc Benton… he was this guy who found-"

"I know who he is," Cas interrupted, remembering him from the books and having a growing idea of where this conversation was heading. "In theory it would be a loop hole in Dean's contract…" he said and Sam smiled brightly so Cas rushed to continue before the youngest brother got his hopes up; " _however_ … I don't believe you should pursue it. Benton's formula should never have been created. It's pure science and mainly just blocks receptors for specific enzymes… but some of them are used in brain activities and without them present… If Dean were to take the formula then it would corrupt his mind." Sam's face had dropped during the explanation, but that wasn't enough for Cas. He _needed_ confirmation that Sam wouldn't go this route because the more he thought about it, the more it worried him. Dean had such a good heart and soul… even back in 2014 when he'd become closed off and angry. The thought of such an innocent plan being able to corrupt him into a monster was simply terrifying. Cas still loved Dean greatly and he'd never let anything like that happen to him again. "You can't go after Benton, Sam. The formula would destroy your brother."

Sam looked a little scared of what could have happened to Dean if he'd gone through with the plan and nodded to the angel.

"Good… I'll take the case. You should work on trying to break the contract," Cas said and then turned invisible.

Sam threw glances around the room at his sudden disappearance and waited a few seconds before packing up the rest of his things and leaving the room. He threw this laptop bag onto the back seat as he got into the car at the same time that Cas flew inside of it. He knew he should leave now and stop Benton but he needed to make sure that Sam wasn't going to do anything stupid just yet. Benton was, after all, a simple case. He knew where the man was hiding and that he wouldn't kill again for several days, so the angel had a little while left to spare.

"What was that about?" Dean asked as he slowly pulled away from the motel.

"I asked Cas about a case and he took it. He said we should work on breaking your contract."

"So… he just disappeared?"

"Pretty much"

"Right…" there was a momentary pause where Dean seemed in deep thought, Cas just barely resisted looking into his thoughts when the eldest Winchester let out a heavy breath and nodded to himself. "So… we going Bobby's?"


	10. No Rest for the Wicked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this will be my last update for a few weeks. This fic is going onto a temporary hiatus (it will only be temporary). With the exception of any unsuspected events, I should be back to updating by the end of next month (August - for anyone who's not sure when this chapter was posted). But, if something else happens that continues to make my life too hectic to give me time to write, I will definitely post Chapter 11 before September and I'll just have to play it by ear as to when my following updates will be.

Dean was about to hit the forty-eight hour mark when Castiel decided to check on him. Like many of the angel's check-ups, Dean wouldn't know he was there; he showed up invisibly and watched as both brothers sat with Bobby and a table full of books as the night went on. Dean passed out around two in the morning and Bobby went to bed not long later, knowing there was nothing they could do without their right minds on. Sam, however, refused to go to sleep. Not without a plan. Not without his brother saved. Cas somewhat admired that in the Winchester brothers, their dedication to each other… but right now it was rather stupid. Cas pressed his palm to Sam's head and forced sleep to take hold of him. He would be much more clear-headed after a few hours.

Cas took another look at the eldest Winchester and sighed loudly… Dean had once again given up hope in being saved. Knowing him as well as he did, Dean would probably have one last minute desperate plan, and if that didn't work then he'd accept his death. Cas stayed through the night to watch over the Winchesters. There was a strange longing that took over him. He'd never felt this particular type of longing before God had revived him, but now he felt it several times a day. He was lonely. He longed to have the camaraderie he felt over the past years in the camp. He hadn't ever been alone over those years. There was always a friend close by who he could converse with. Sure, none of them had ever really understood him, except from Dean that is, but he had been welcomed nonetheless. But now he was just a fallen angel; torn from heaven and left in the cold by his family simply because he couldn't explain to them, to _Dean_ , who he really was.

Not having to sleep coupled with no-one to talk to meant that Cas was always inside his own head. His mind wandered off to the sadness of the previous days. After tracking and eradicating Benton, he had remembered about Bela's contract and gone to visit her. He had expected her to be rushing to complete her deal that would ensure her freedom from hell. However, she had been drinking by herself at an all-day bar. Bela didn't even bat an eyelash when Castiel appeared next to her and she went into a drunken rant. She explained the contract that a demon named Crowley had offered her. Cas just barely remembered the name from the books and inwardly cursed for ever forgetting something so crucial. Bela explained, in an inebriated slur, how Cas taking the colt back before she could hand it off had created a 'part 2' for the deal… she had to kill Sam. Cas knew that it was one of the demon's lies and it just furthered his assumption that they would have never let Bela out of her contract.

They sat in silence as midnight rolled closer and he expected her to beg and plead for his help and she did at exactly eleven fifty-seven… but it hadn't been what he was expecting. He remembered her tear guttered words as they escaped her when she beseeched him to end it. To kill her before the hellhounds ripped her to shreds.

And he agreed.

No-one should have to die that way. And in that moment he'd seen Bela as who she really was; a tired and abused girl who'd been manipulated by a demon in her time of need. She was scared, tired and eternally haunted by her past. Chuck's books had been misleading. Castiel wished that he could end Bela's contract for her but it wasn't in his power. So, instead, he did for her the only thing that he could.

Using his own power to ease Bela's suffering had made him feel… broken again. And he longed for the comfort of his friends and family that he'd left behind.

[] [] []

When Dean woke up around half six in the morning, Cas saw the instant change in the man. The hallucinations had started, which meant that he was probably piercing the veil too. Dean wandered out of the living room and into the kitchen to grab a beer and Cas followed. There was a momentary pause from the human as he waited with the bottle to his lips.

"Okay…" Dean muttered quietly to the room. "I can pretty much guarantee that I'm going insane now but, erm… Cas, are you... _here_?" Dean continued as he cast looks around the kitchen. Castiel bit his lip. Dean could sense him now, which meant if he showed himself then Dean would be able to _see_ him.

"Yes," Cas said solemnly as he made himself visible.

Dean's eyes went wide. His mouth hung open as he gawked at the angel and Cas knew what he was seeing. His wings.

_**(Dean's Point of View)** _

When Dean woke up from his dreamless sleep his head began to pound. He opened his eyes just to see the room spinning and twisting in a way that made him mildly sick. Then he cast his gaze over to his sleeping brother and almost pulled out the colt; Sam's face was twisted, evil and barely recognisable. He managed to restrain himself from attacking the creature that paraded as his brother when he remembered the information on demon deals… a couple of books had talked about hallucinations. Dean took a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, everything was back to normal.

He got up from where he had slept at the table and moved quietly into the kitchen for a beer… though he had a feeling he'd be needing something _much_ stronger. That's when he felt it. The itch on the back of his neck that told him he was being watched, he turned to his brother to see that he was still fast asleep at the table. The itch only got stronger as the seconds went on and then it got… familiar? It felt like Cas. It was impossible to describe, but somehow Dean _knew_ that Cas was in the room. He brought the brown-tinted glass bottle down from where it hovered at his lips and spoke into the, perceivably, empty room. He felt idiotic as the words left his mouth and seconds dragged on. He was about to just shrug it off when a recognisable deep voice sounded in the room.

"Yes," was the only word that the trickster said and when Dean saw him appear his heart almost stopped beating.

The first thing Dean noticed were the wings. They were large enough that if they were fully extended then Bobby's kitchen would be no-where near big enough for them. They were white. _Very_ white. They glowed slightly and it was… incredible. It took a moment for Dean's attention to be pulled from the wings and to the rest of Castiel. He was filled with… light. It was different though, tangible, like a fog that filled him to his core. It was anchored to his body but occasional wisps escaped and flowed outside before being pulled back into him.

"Wow," Dean heard himself breathe out and Cas rolled his eyes.

"They're wings, Dean… you may have heard of them," he muttered sarcastically. But Dean could make out a slight blush colouring his cheeks and saw the way his wings quivered at the attention.

"Yeah, I… _why_ do you have wings?"

"How do you _think_ I move around?" He snipped back but Dean couldn't care less about the snarky attitude, he was too enthralled by the white shine to give a damn.

"You've never had wings before."

"No… you've just never been able to see them before," Cas replied as he turned from the kitchen and headed back into the living room. He was still talking quietly for Sam's sake but Dean had completely forgotten about that and his next words were loud enough to wake his snoozing brother.

"Why can I see them now then?"

"Because you're piercing the veil."

"That doesn't sound too good…" Sam piped up, looking to his brother to make sure he was alright. That's when he noticed the completely mystified look on his face. "What happened?"

"Cas has wings"

Sam shot a look at the Trickster, frowned and then returned to staring at his brother.

"I don't see anything."

"You wouldn't," Cas said with a sigh and sat down on the sofa. Dean's eyes widened even more as the white feathers sank and disappeared into the fabric. "Human senses are too dull to see them without it damaging you… Dean is the exception because he's piercing the veil."

"And what's that _mean_ exactly?" Sam asked as he sat up taller and wiped at his face, a little bit annoyed at himself for falling asleep.

"It means…" Cas took a moment to think about how to explain this and he met Dean's eyes. "It means that you can see what's behind the visage. You can see our true forms. Demons, shapeshifters, tricksters… you can see what we really look like."

"Well… that could come in handy" Sam muttered, "but _why_?"

Cas shrugged, "In Dean's case it's because his contract is coming to an end. It's there for the same reasons that the hallucinations are; to scare you. It doesn't tend to happen if it's not caused by a contract."

" _Hallucinations_?!" Sam asked and stared at Dean who was finally able to remove his eyes from Cas' wings to shrug at his younger brother. There was a noise on the stairs and a few seconds later Bobby walked into the room.

"Cas… you here to help out or…?" Bobby let the question run off and the trickster just nodded. "Great… well, would you know anything about tracking Demons? I was thinking of taking a few out and seeing what they could tell us about contracts that we don't already know."

"Quite a lot actually. But that won't be needed," Cas replied and Dean turned around from where he was looking at his surrogate father to see the trickster get to his feet and walk over to him. The white light collected in the palm of his hand as he raised it to Dean's head.

Dean wasn't sure why he didn't move. He'd seen Cas burn monsters from the inside by doing nothing more than placing his palm on their head… and now the trickster was doing it to him… but he didn't try to get away. He didn't even flinch. He saw Sam quickly raise to his feet and Bobby reach for a gun and he heard them yelling but he couldn't make out words. Every noise faded into the background and the white light seeped out of Cas' hand and into him, covering his vision.

It barely lasted a few seconds before Cas was pulling back and everything returned to normal. Dean's head span and throbbed. He opened his eyes, which he must have closed to try and block out the bright light, and looked at the room. Cas was standing _very_ close to him, Sam wasn't far behind the trickster, Bobby had a shotgun aimed and ready to shoot but they were all staring at Dean.

"What?" Dean croaked as he looked at all of them individually, when he looked back at Cas he realised something and frowned. Dean cleared his throat before speaking. "Where've your wings gone?"

But before Cas could answer Bobby returned to pointing the gun at the trickster and Sam asked a different question.

"What did you just do to him?"

"I cancelled the contract," Cas replied, answering both their questions. The entire room stilled again. Sam was the first to move, he rushed past the trickster and pulled Dean in for a hug.

"Hey… Sam. Now I'm not going to hell I might need my lungs… seriously, I can't breathe," Dean said and Sam pulled back with a grin on his face. Dean looked back at the rest of the room and saw that Bobby had lowered his gun but was still staring, suspiciously, at the Demi-God.

_**(Cas' Point of View)** _

Cas watched as Dean and Sam embraced and smiled, everything was going to be okay. Bobby eventually lowered the shotgun but Cas noticed that he never put it down and never put the safety back on. He knew there were questions as to what Cas wanted spinning around the man's head but Cas pretended to be oblivious.

"Why was he glowing?" Bobby asked which caught Dean's attention.

"Wait, what? I was glowing?" Dean asked and looked between Sam and Bobby. "Is that why you two were staring at me like I'd grown a second head?"

Sam shrugged, which was the only confirmation, and then turned to look at Cas, waiting for an answer just like Bobby was.

"I had to cleanse your soul of the contract," Cas replied. He knew it wasn't much of an answer but it'd have to do. The glow hadn't been bright, only a faint light under Dean's skin from where his grace had healed away any claim he'd had on it. In truth, it had shocked Castiel just as much as it had the two humans in the room. It shouldn't have happened; but after a little thought, the reason behind it was obvious. Grace-to-grace, or in this case soul-to-grace, contact was popular among angels with their lovers. Cas was in love with Dean; he had been for a long time and his grace was rejoicing at being able to connect with his love's soul. But he wasn't about to tell that to any of the humans in this room.

Bobby narrowed his eyes at Cas for a moment before putting the gun down completely, apparently appeased with the answer. Talk between the humans soon mentioned a celebratory drink and Cas decided it was time to leave. He stepped back and was ready to fly away when Dean turned to look at him.

"Cas… can we talk for a second?"

The angel stared for a moment and then nodded, he followed as Dean walked out of Bobby's house and onto the front porch.

"So, erm… thanks," Dean said and Cas smiled. "Seriously, I don't know if we could have done it without you… I actually don't know why you did do it. I mean I'm really glad that you did but there has to be better hunters out there who could help you and would be less hassle."

"You greatly underestimate your own self-worth, Dean," Cas replied after letting his friend talk out his worries. "You and your family are the best hunters that I've met… plus you're amusing, it would be a shame if you died," he finished with a smile and Dean huffed a laugh.

"Well in that case… you gonna come inside? Have a drink with us?" Dean asked and Cas nodded happily.

_**(Ruby's Point of View)** _

Ruby waited near Bobby's house, it was now less than twenty hours before Dean's deal would end… so why had they not tried summoning her yet? She'd done everything perfectly. She'd gotten Sam to trust her. She'd gotten him to believe that she had the answer for any situation. So surely he should be asking for her help by now.

The demon waited a few more hours and by the time the sun was in the sky she got anxious. This could only mean that they already had a plan. Ruby reluctantly left to make a call. She dragged the nearest person into an alley way and drained his blood into a ritual bowl. Ruby wasn't looking forward to what Lilith had to say.

As she thought, the demon was livid that Ruby hadn't been able to point Sam into the course of action they needed, and on top of that was she apparently wasn't able to keep Sam away from anything that could help break Dean's deal. Ruby's fear accelerated. She had fucked up big. One mistake was enough for Lilith to throw her into the pit and so she was done for. If she didn't find a way to make the plan work then she'd be Lilith's new chew toy.

Lilith demanded results and if there was one thing Ruby was good at, it's thinking on her feet.

[] [] []

Ruby walked into the cul-de-sac that was currently overflowing with demons. She tensed when she felt several appear behind her. Lilith was wearing a young blond child with blood soaking her dress. If Ruby's plan didn't impress her then she was in for hell… literally.

"I'm in the middle of my vacation… this had _better_ be good," said the sickly sweet voice and Ruby smiled nervously.

"I rang Sam Winchester after we talked and asked about Dean's deal… I've gotten him to think as me as a friend, just as you suggested. He told me that the trickster broke the contract yesterday morning."

"So, let me see if I've got this right…" the demonic child began. "A year ago I gave you instructions to alienate the Winchester brothers, influence Sam into tapping into the dormant demon blood, prevent Dean from escaping his deal and find out what this trickster wants with the boys and keep him away from them if his agenda impedes our own… and you have managed to fail in _every single one_ of these tasks?" Lilith snarled at the younger demon as she finished and waited for a response.

"I have a plan to fix this. It's guaranteed to get Dean into hell and Sam away from that trickster," Ruby answered quietly and continued to explain after noticing she had Lilith's attention. "I know that it's never been attempted before but, technically speaking, it's possible to force a righteous soul into hell _without_ a contract…"

Ruby continued to tell Lilith of her plan, every minor detail she had been able to think of in the last few hours and, when she had finished, the oldest demon gave her approval along with all the resources she needed.

_**(Cas' Point of View)** _

It's was almost midnight. Almost time that Dean's contract would be coming to an end if Cas hadn't already cancelled it. The humans had been celebrating with alcohol and some much needed sleep, but Cas was still on edge. None of them knew the truth yet and Cas figured that there was no rush in telling them so he would let them relax for a few days before mentioning anything to do with angels and an oncoming apocalypse.

However, even if he was letting them rest, Cas knew that he couldn't do the same. He wasn't naïve enough to think the demons would just _give up_ now that Dean was out of his contract.

At the moment, Bobby, Sam and Dean were all fast asleep as Cas watched over them invisibly. It was close to forty-one hours ago that Cas had cancelled the contract and he was still waiting for time to snap back on itself, but so far everything had been okay.

Cas had stayed with the Winchesters and Bobby for several hours and helped them to celebrate, then he had decided that they would probably prefer him not being there. As much as it pained him to admit it, he just wasn't part of this family anymore… hopefully that would change soon, but for now he was just an outsider invading in on their family time. After coming to that conclusion and saying his goodbyes, it felt _wrong_ to turn himself invisible instead of leaving. But he had to be there in case something were to happen.

It was exactly two minutes to midnight when his sensors picked up demons on the outskirt of town. _Seven_ demons.

Cas had to admit that it was a lot of demons for just one angel to fight. But he knew that he could take them, his fighting skills had improve exponentially over the last several years of being human and now he had more power than ever. And anyway, this was why he was still there, to intercept any trouble before it got to his friends.

He took the first two demons out with a surprise attack, appearing behind them and using his grace to burn the evil from their vessels. And then there were only five. He barely had the time it took for the bodies to drop to the ground at his feet before the first one attacked him. Cas dodged the advance and swung at him with his angel blade, slicing through his neck and killing the demon inside. The remaining four demons were more organised in their fighting and worked as a group. They got in a few good shots but nothing they could do would be able to kill him, not without an angel blade. This made him confident… cocky. He'd taken down another one by the time the pain started.

It wasn't _his_ pain and it didn't _physically_ hurt him but he knew what was happening and it made him freeze. The demons took advantage of his momentary mind block and tackled him to the ground before laying punch after punch on him. He couldn't feel any of that pain either, his vessel was getting damaged but he was uninjured.

Cas pushed the demons off him and burnt one of them clean from their body as he heard Dean's scream for help in prayer form as his chest was being torn to shreds. He wanted to go to his friend and help out… but he couldn't without leading the demons to him which would mean more for the Winchesters to fight against. He felt a claw tear across Sam's shoulder. Cas slashed out at the remaining two demons and caught one on the chest, but it wasn't deep enough to kill it. They kept coming at him and Cas got more and more desperate to get away, his attacks becoming sloppy from all the fear building inside him.

He managed a lucky shot and was able to force his angel blade into the chest of one demon and got ready to jump at the last one when he felt cold settle in his veins. He knew the sensation that was making him feel sick to his stomach, Gabriel's antics had forced him to feel it so many times. The demon attacked him and Cas once again fell to the floor, but this time he used it to his advantage and drove the angel blade straight through the man's stomach. Once he pushed the empty vessel off himself he flew away, back to Bobby's.

The first thing he noticed when he entered the house was the hellhound lying dead in the living room. Then he saw the blood. Dean's blood. A big pool of it in the exact place on the floor where Dean had been asleep not ten minutes ago. There was no body. Instead there was bloodied paw prints and a large smear of blood left behind as a hound had dragged Dean's lifeless corpse away. Cas felt the emotions well up inside of him and he was overcome with an urge to drop to the floor and cry over the man he loves, but he had to hide that away. The sooner he figured out what happened, the sooner he could bring Dean back. All of that happened in a second. In the next second he realised that he had never once sensed the hellhounds' presence near either of the Winchesters which meant they had been heavily warded. The demons had been a trap to lore him away from Dean so the hellhounds could kill him. And he'd fallen for it.

Cas' ears picked up a conversation happening in the room and he realised that so far he hadn't even moved his eyes away from blood on the floor. He heard Ruby's voice and his head snapped to the side to glare at the demon who he was sure was behind Dean's death.

"I'm so sorry, Sam… I wanted to believe as much as you did that his contract was over… I didn't want you to have to be alone… I shouldn't have kept quiet about my worries when you said he cancelled it… I shouldn't have… I thought I could interfere if he pulled anything… I thought… I'm sorry you had to see that…" the blonde demon rambled, her voice filled with fake sadness as she wrapped a cloth around Sam's injured shoulder as he cried silently. Her knife was lying on the ground next to her, covered in hellhound blood.

Cas growled at her; she was blaming _him_. She helped to kill Dean and now she was blaming him. Anger and sadness fueled him as Cas strode towards her. Ruby spun around to defend herself once she realised that Cas was in the room but he drove his blade into her chest before she'd even fully turned. Sam jumped at him. He'd believed every word that the demon had spurted out. Cas had to move the blade quickly out of Sam's way before the Winchester impaled himself on it. He pushed his hand onto Sam head and forced him to sleep. The Winchester collapsed to the ground. Cas stood stock still as the events of the last ten minutes finally started to settle in on him, his hand shook as he reached down to Sam and healed his injured shoulder. He looked around for any sign of Bobby Singer and saw him lying dead in the kitchen, claw marks on his neck, Cas took another few seconds to heal him before flying away.

[] [] []

After days of searching for either Lilith or Dean's body, Cas came to the realisation that he wasn't going to find either. Lilith was strong and the most heavily warded demon. She had to be… couldn't have just anyone being able to find and kill her before the last seal could be broken.

And as for Dean… Cas wasn't even sure if his body was out there.

Cas' connection with Dean… the thing that allowed him to find his hunter _,_ was for his soul, the body was nothing more than an empty vessel. There was a line between soul and vessel just like there was between angel and vessel. But with the body missing… it was near impossible to bring Dean back without going into hell to get him.

So that's what Castiel did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As far as I can remember the show doesn't actually say if Cas can or can't see hellhounds but I thought, well if he couldn't before then he can now because he's more powerful. Also I figured that, since Crowley forced Bobby's soul into hell but no demon had done it for getting a righteous man, Crowley was probably the first one to do it.
> 
> Like I said at the beginning of this chapter, this will be my last post for several weeks but I promise that this fic won't be stopped completely and updates should start back up again before the end of next month. I am really sorry for where I left this before going on my hiatus. I didn't realise until today which chapter it was that I was leaving you hanging on... sorry.
> 
> Anyone who wants to contact me while this is on hiatus can do so via my instagram account (pieprincess_andthe_fallenangel), if you have any questions about my fic and future updates then you can ask me on there


	11. Lazarus Rising

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a few of things I want to apologise for. Number 1 is just how shitty my idea behind this chapter was. Number 2 is that this chapter is rather short. And number 3 is because I promised this chapter would be up days ago. Really sorry about that. I meant to post it on the 31st but then got distracted and kept forgetting and when I remembered I was just overcome with an overwhelming need to not have to proof read my shitty writing once again.

Four months.

Dean had still been in hell for four months.

Their connection hadn't worked in hell and so Cas had been forced to find Dean the old fashioned way. And that wasn't exactly an easy task for _one_ angel who was chasing a soul that the demons were quick to move around while he was at the same time avoiding his old garrison who were also looking for Dean. There had been a few times that the demons got sloppy with hiding Dean and Cas was able to get close… but the other angels had been able to pick up the evidence leading to Dean just as easily and Cas had to retreat before he was spotted.

When Cas had finally got to Dean, he had already spilt blood.

Dean had looked worse than the last time Cas had saved him. He'd broke sooner, he'd become more demonic. And it was all Cas' fault. Dean hadn't been prepared for hell this time around because Cas had lulled him into a false sense of security by cancelling the contract. He should have warned him. He should have made sure he was ready. But he didn't; so this time when Cas grabbed hold of Dean's arm, the handprint burned deeper. Dean was in more pain than he had been before as Cas used his grace to cleanse his friend of all things demonic. And it was all Castiel's fault.

When Cas had raised Dean and remade his body, he placed him on Bobby's sofa. The gruff hunter was in the kitchen when Cas appeared and the angel had left long before Bobby turned to see Dean asleep on the couch.

Cas' next stop was Gabriel. He knew now that he _needed_ help. He'd messed up. He hadn't changed a damn thing… Dean had still gone to hell. He had still spilt blood there. He was still the _Righteous Man_!

Cas didn't know why God had given him this power if he wasn't good enough to change anything. When he found Gabriel a few hours later, the Archangel was less than impressed to see him.

"How did you find me?" The older angel said with narrowed eyes and Cas shrugged.

"I'm more powerful than your warding," he replied quietly.

"Yeah… you never told me why that is…"

"You never asked."

"I suppose I'm not really sure I want to know… that's got to be a hell of lot of souls you've got there in order to make you _this_ strong," Gabriel said and Cas shook his head. Collecting souls was the obvious explanation for him suddenly increasing in power and Cas should have just nodded along… but he couldn't lie anymore.

"It's not souls…"

"Okay… that made this more interesting… but the answer is still no," Gabe said slowly and Cas furrowed his brow and tilted his head in confusion.

"I didn't ask anything."

"You were about to," Gabe said and shook his head. "You want me to join you and stop the Apocalypse. And I can't. I'm sorry Castiel, but it's time to give up now. You had a try and you failed and now that it's started… nothing can stop it."

"I'm not going to give up and if you cared as much as you say then you wouldn't either." Cas started pacing the room as Gabriel stood and watched looking increasingly angry. True, Castiel had messed up. He shouldn't have hid so much from the Winchesters… but there was too much at stake to dwell on past mistakes.

"You can't seriously think that I don't _care_ ," Gabe spat angrily and Cas just continued to pace. If the Archangel wouldn't help then he needed to come up with a plan by himself. "What do you even think I was doing at the Mystery Spot?"

"Being an asshole," Cas replied swiftly without giving it much thought and Gabriel grabbed a hold of him to stop his pacing and force Cas to look at him. He was angry.

"I was trying to stop it. It was my last plan and it failed as much as yours has so it's time for us to _give up_ ," Gabriel said the words slowly and Cas shook his head.

"How is repeatedly killing Dean Winchester a plan to stop the Apocalypse?"

"It was encouragement," Gabe said and released his grasp of Cas' arm. "If Sam knew what it felt like to lose his brother over and over again then he'd work harder to save him and Dean wouldn't break the first seal… but you had to come in and ruin everything…" Gabe said, close to a snarl and Cas rolled his eyes.

"It wasn't going to work."

"You don't know that."

"Actually, I do."

" _How_?!" Gabriel challenged and Cas let slip another secret.

"Because I'm not from this time." A long silence stretched between the two angels as Cas practically shouted his secret. He was angry and fed up, it had been a long four months… literally. His time in hell made it appear more like forty years, which made his inability to save Dean seem like even more of a failure.

"Changing the past isn't exactly an easy thing, Cas… how much do they know?"

"Nothing," Castiel said with a sigh and he just deflated.

"Good… keep it that way," Gabriel said and Cas was about to argue when he continued. "You know _what's_ going to happen and _when_ … you've probably got more of a chance to stop this. Keep the Winchesters in the dark and keep them away from angels. If they know about us… about what this war _really_ is then they're going to find themselves knee-deep in angels… we're a manipulative species and our brothers and sisters will spin their minds, make them believe that you're the bad guy," Gabriel explained and, after a moment's hesitation, Cas agreed that it was the better course of action. He was a good warrior, but Gabriel was an Archangel. He was a leader and much more skilled in strategies… it wouldn't be wise to ignore his advice.

"You're still not going to help are you?" Cas asked, but it was more of a statement because he already knew the answer. Gabriel didn't reply, he just smiled and disappeared.

[] [] []

Cas sat on one of the sofas in his safe house for many hours, meditating in order to calm himself down; it was a technique he could now do for days at a time because he didn't need to eat, drink or move in anyway at all. He was too agitated to read some more books and so meditation was his only option for passing the time.

_'I invoke conjure and command you to appear onto me before this circle'_

The words rung loudly through his grace and shattered his concentration. He shook his head violently as he remembered last time this had happened… he couldn't let that happen again. Even though he had a vessel this time, that wouldn't be what she saw… she would still see his true form.

_'I invoke conjure and command you to appear onto me before this circle'_

Cas took a moment to compose himself into the fearless Demi-God that Dean and Sam were used to and then flew towards them. He appeared invisible at first and sat down swiftly into a chair that he manifested in between the psychic and Dean. He turned himself visible just as the woman started to chant the third time.

"You rang?" Cas said sweetly, this shocked all of those at the table. Sam grabbed for the Colt and pointed it at him at the same time that Bobby grabbed his gun and Dean smoothly took out the knife and stabbed him in the chest. Cas looked down at the protruding object and smiled in memory of the first time Dean had done that to him. He looked up and saw the fear on all three hunters faces at his amusement at being stabbed with the 'big time magic knife'. He grabbed the hilt and pulled the knife out of his chest, looked it over and 'angel poofed' it clean before handing it back to the hunter.

Dean cautiously took the offered object. He kept hold of it just in case, even though he now knew for certain that it wouldn't work. He sent a fear filled look at his brother. Cas also looked at Sam and eyed the gun he was holding with a dry laugh.

"I thought we already established that these things don't work on me"

"In a dream… I didn't know whether to believe it or not," Dean replied and Cas shrugged.

"How you doing, Sammy?"

"Don't call me that" the taller Winchester said.

"My apologies… what would you prefer me to call you instead? Hmm? How about 'the boy with the demon blood'? Yeah… I think that has a nice ring to it" Cas said polity… he knew that Sam wasn't drinking demon blood now, he could sense that he wasn't, but that didn't mean that he wouldn't start. So his family had to know everything for them to be able to prevent it further. Sam's face paled at Cas' knowledge and Bobby and Dean blanked.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked, loudly.

"Right… he hasn't _told_ you…" Dean turned to look at Sam and shook his head, thinking that it could wait for another time.

"What are you doing here?" Dean demanded of the angel.

"You were looking for me… I thought I'd make it easier."

" _You're_ who raised Dean from hell?" Sam asked and looked at the Psychic for confirmation.

"I can't tell… not without finishing the ritual," she said and Dean nodded.

"Well, sorry that we don't take your word for it… but I think I'd prefer to know for sure," Cas stood up and made the chair disappear at the same time, he took a step backwards.

"Of course, don't mind me… just don't come complaining when her eyes burn out of their sockets…"

"What d'ya mean?" Bobby asked warily.

"Well… as you know, this isn't my true form. However, you probably aren't aware that if I wasn't in a vessel then most people wouldn't be able to perceive me without sustaining serious injuries… There are a few that can but," Cas paused as he thought back and recalled the psychic's name, "Pamela here, although being a fairly powerful psychic, isn't one of them."

"That's why you came?" Pamela asked suddenly, "to keep me from losing my eyes?" Cas considered lying but, as he'd just said, Pamela was a powerful psychic and probably would pick up on his lies fairly easily.

"Yes, actually," the hunters all stared at him. "It's fairly annoying and I always get blamed for it even when it's not my fault… plus, for some reason, I'm unable to heal the wounds once they've been made"

"Thanks… I guess," Pamela said and Cas smirked at her and nodded.

"Why'd you do it?" Dean asked abruptly and Cas frowned at him, he tilted his head slightly to the side.

"I just told you"

"No… why'd you raise me from hell?"

"Oh, _that_ … well you were never supposed to go down there in the first place, I thought it only right to correct the mistake," he could tell that none of the Winchesters believed him, but that didn't matter as long as they didn't try to get a 'peak' at his true self.

"You're the one who sent him to hell in the first place," Sam said through gritted teeth and Cas shook his head.

"Nope. Ruby did that. Then I killed her, healed you and brought Bobby back to life," Cas said and when Sam just continued to glare at him he continued in a sarcastic tone, "no need to thank me, or anything." Cas could tell from looking at Sam that the youngest Winchester didn't believe him… nor did he want to, Dean seemed to not know _what_ to believe and Bobby was as unreadable as ever… it was probably the beard. Pamela was surprisingly calm about everything and he frowned at her a little bit but didn't question it. "Granted it was partially my fault… I was expecting the demons to pull something and so I stayed close by but I never warned any of you."

"If that's true then, no offence but, you _suck_ as a body guard," Dean said. "Where were you when the hellhounds showed up…"

"I was fighting off demons on the outskirts of town… they were there to distract me," Cas answered and tried his best to keep all remorse out of his voice and away from his face. "And I fell for it…"

"I don't believe you," Sam said angrily.

"I can see that." After a few more seconds of silence Cas sighed heavily and turned to face Dean again. "Right now we have bigger problems. That event I told you about… it's happened. The war is starting and I need your help."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, not the worst chapter I've ever written but I'm still not happy with it. I can't go back to regular posting just yet (I thought that I'd be able to but when I got my A2 results in August I found out that my college didn't allow people coming back a year to just do one more AS level - like I'd planned. So I had to go talk to another college about doing that but their representatives were at a university for the day so I went to the Uni, got talking to a lecturer and, long story short, got offered a place through clearing without needed the extra AS level! Now that I'm going to Uni, however, I have even less time to write) so my next chapter is likely to not be for another month or so.


	12. Are you there, God? It's me, Dean Winchester

Cas sat at a table in his safe house, with a pen and paper on hand, and began to scribble down everything he could remember about the remaining seals. He couldn't afford to forget anything… his foreknowledge was his greatest advantage. Some things would happen differently, especially now he'd changed his tactic to a more 'head on' approach, but anything he could remember was valuable.

The angel had left the Winchesters with Bobby and the psychic after Sam had attempted to jump over the table and attack Cas following him asking for their help. Castiel had told them that they needed his help as much as he needed theirs and then disappeared. He'd wanted to carve the Enochian into their ribs that would keep them hidden from angels, but he had figured that Sam wouldn't let him and so he was instead using his grace to hide them until he could earn their trust again.

It wasn't until after he'd finished writing everything down that he realised that one of the seals was about to be broken. The sacrifice of 40 virgins. Cas scowled in remembering the time that he had led his garrison to prevent that particular seal from being broken by Lilith. They hadn't been in time to stop the death of almost half of the innocents but had managed to keep the rest alive. At the time he had taken it as a victory but now he knew that if only one died then he still wouldn't have done well enough. Cas didn't know if other angels would arrive to fight Lilith against this seal but he was going anyway. If the garrison did show up then he would have to retreat before they saw him but he wasn't about to take the risk on forty innocent lives by not showing up. Plus, he could do with getting to Lilith and killing her now before her death could be used as the final seal.

Castiel had almost an entire day left to prepare for the seal, a day that he found he actually didn't need. He was ready to start fighting again. He was ready for this whole thing to be over. The sacrifices would occur at a fire-damaged church at the edge of town. It didn't need to be done in a church but it was just one of Lilith's ways of saying 'fuck you' to the angels. Cas went to the church and hid behind wards so that, when the demons started to enter the derelict building, they were unaware of his presence. He waited as they dragged in each and every one of the virgin sacrifices. He was on edge and ready to jump in at any second but he couldn't yet because Lilith still _wasn't here_. The minutes rolled on and Cas became agitated, waiting for any indication as to the whereabouts of the first demon. The sacrifices were bound, blindfolded and crying; some were as young as seven, just children wailing for their parents.

Cas hated waiting on the side for Lilith to show before saving them but he had to.

The doors to the church swung open with a bang and Cas spun around, hoping that this would be the white-eyed demon making her entrance. It wasn't.

Cas watched as the latest demon walked into the church. He was wearing a black suit and tie and appeared to be completely disgusted by his filthy surroundings.

"Let's get this show on the road, shall we," the newest demon called out to the others. Cas instantly stood a little straighter. This wasn't right. They couldn't be starting without Lilith… this was one of her seals. One of the demons who had helped to bring in the sacrifices took a hold of the long blonde hair of a teenaged girl and dragged her by it as she cried and kicked at the air. Castiel didn't wait any longer before reacting; he turned himself visible and took out his blade. In one swift movement he had the head of the demon separated from the body. He turned to face the rest of the demons in the room. There were three grunts and the man in the suit. Cas had been fast and caught them off guard so they were only just starting to react to him. One of the grunts charged towards him and Cas was able to eliminate the threat without much hassle. When he looked back up the remaining demons were turning to flee the building, the man in the suit almost at the door. Cas flew directly in front of him.

The angel grabbed the demon by the shoulder and spun him around to place the blade to his neck, only hesitating just before he slit his neck. Cas needed answers and this demon was the best he had available to give them. With that thought in mind he sent a sparse look over to the sacrifices as he made sure all of their blind folds were still in place. Once he had confirmed this he slapped his palm over the eyes of the demon in the suit and lifted his hand that was still holding the angel blade at the two remaining grunt demons. He sent out a wave of his grace into the room and they both perished instantaneously. The entire attack had lasted barely fifteen seconds.

The demon he was holding was struggling to get away but it was no use, Cas was just too powerful.

"You're not going anywhere," Cas muttered, "we're going to have a nice little talk." With a mental note to inform the authorities about the whereabouts of the almost-sacrifices, the angel flew himself and the demon away.

After landing in another derelict building a few miles away Cas pushed the demon away and into an already painted devils trap that he had prepared earlier that day. The demon was very quiet. Cas stared him down for several seconds before beginning his questioning. He never saw much point in beating around the bush and so he jumped straight into the questions.

"Why wasn't Lilith there? This was supposed to be a seal that she broke."

"What do you _really_ think I'm going to tell you?" The demon muttered after a few seconds of silence. "It doesn't really matter if I do or I don't tell you… I'm dead either way so I think I'm just going to keep quiet."

"That's very astute of you. But I think you're forgetting that it's not so much whether or not I kill you… more like how much pain I put you through _before_ I kill you," Cas muttered as he went back to staring down the demon.

[] [] []

The demon dropped to the ground, coughing up blood, as Cas retracted his grace. He never liked torturing but it was something he'd had to learn and so Dean had taught him. As an almost-human, he had known the basics but anything beyond that he hadn't been very good at… but now he was an angel again it seemed that using his grace was a very effective method. It made Cas feel… _dirty_ inside to use a part of himself so pure for something so vile, but he had no choice.

The basic methods hadn't had much success, so this was his last resort.

So far Cas had managed to get a chocked explanation about how Lilith was 'busy with something much worse'. Those words felt very ominous and ever since hearing the demon croak them out Cas had redoubled his efforts. The angel once again sent his grace into the demon and listened as he screamed. The screams eventually turned to pleads for the first time that night.

"Please! Please. Okay, I'll tell you! Just, please, kill me!" The demon began to yell in a loop and Cas drew back his grace as blood flowed from the demon's every orifice. Cas waited as the demon spat blood out and fought to catch his breath. "I don't know much," he began, "very few demons, two… three at the max, actually know her full plans. All I know is she's focussing on tactics for that Winchester… the one that's Lucifer's vessel."

"What does she have planned for Sam Winchester?" Cas asked after the demon had stopped talking and seemed like he wasn't going to continue.

"Ruby…" the demon said as he pulled himself into an upright position so he was no longer sprawled across the floor; "she was the original plan. She was meant to create a distance between them and find a way to get Sam to start using the demon blood… basically, she was meant to sculpt him into the perfect vessel. But she failed. And now Lilith is planning how to fix everything… she doesn't have time for the seals so she brought a few of us in for them instead." Cas thought for a moment as the demon sat on the floor and looked up at him.

"Who knows Lilith's plans?"

"I don't know," the demon said as he shook his head. His will power seemed to have crumbled and now he was just giving in. "She likes to keep everything quiet. Ruby had been working with her for a year without anyone else knowing. We only found out when the deadline started to come closer and she was failing… still only a select few know".

Cas nodded his head and tried to think of more questions. It seemed a waste to get rid of such a compliant demon just yet. But when he couldn't think of anything else to ask, it became the only option. After Cas killed the demon he left to see Dean. He had left both of the Winchesters alone for the past few days to calm down and get reacquainted, but with Lilith's new ominous plan it became more apparent how much time was of the essence. He had to bring in some help of his own.

_**(Dean's Point of View)** _

Dean was sitting on Bobby's couch with a bottle of whisky. Sam was asleep on the floor and Bobby had gone to bed hours ago but Dean couldn't bring himself to close his eyes. The nightmares were too vivid and memories too fresh for him to get any proper sleep just yet. The drinking seemed to be the only thing that could put himself into a dreamless sleep. Neither Sam nor Bobby had noticed his excessive drinking since he'd been back from hell… but maybe that was because of their own excessive drinking while he'd been gone. No doubt that soon enough they'd notice the change.

He wasn't exactly sure what made him lift his head from staring into the bottle in his hands to the kitchen. But when he did look up he could see the trench coat wearing trickster God leaning against the table. Their eyes met; even though the room was near-pitch black, the blue in Cas' eyes seemed to glow with power. It had kind of intrigued and also scared Dean when they first met, but he'd eventually gotten used to the vibrant glow… now after all that time in hell, something so bright had once again come as a shock. Dean kept Cas' gaze for a moment, then he lifted the bottle to his lips and drained the remaining contents before standing up.

He probably should have woken Sam up, the thought crossed his mind as he stepped over his sleeping brother but he automatically stopped it. Sam was convinced that Cas was evil; that he'd lied to them, sent Dean to hell and was now back to mess with them some more. But Dean didn't believe it. It wasn't so much that he trusted the trickster, more like he didn't trust Ruby. And since all of Sam's explanation was based on her information and Cas was the one who had finally killed the bitch, not to mention all the times he'd saved their asses since they'd met him, he felt like he owed the demi-God a chance. Plus, after everything he himself did in hell, he wasn't exactly in a position to judge.

Dean walked past the trickster and out onto the porch at the front of Bobby's house, indicating with a nod for Cas to follow.

"Hello, Dean" the trickster said and Dean nodded his head in greeting. A flicker of some emotion passed across Cas' face when Dean said nothing in return, but it wasn't there long enough for the hunter to identify what it was. "I need your help"

"Yeah, you said… Sam's not too happy about that"

"That's why I'm talking to you and not him," Cas snarked back. Dean raised his eyebrow at Cas who let out a deep breath. "Sorry, it's been a long day"

"Right… well what are you here about?"

"There are these seals that are being broken. They're reinforcing a spell that keeps my eldest brother… Nick, away from the rest of my family. If enough of the seals break then Nick comes back and the war begins," Cas said quietly and Dean, who had been looking out over the junk yard, turned to look at him. He was stopped from saying any remark when he noticed the blood spurted over the front of Cas' trench coat.

"Are you bleeding," Dean asked as he stepped closer. Cas looked down at his chest, noticed the blood and then shrugged.

"It's not mine… Like I said, it's been a long day"

"And you didn't think to clean yourself up?" Dean muttered sarcastically as he took a step backwards and hopped that Cas wouldn't mention the obvious worry that he'd just displayed towards said trickster. Cas narrowed his eyes at Dean.

" _What_? You think forty years running after you in hell is an easy task? Not to mention raising your ass from the pit. You're heavier then you look… I'm tired. So, _excuse_ me for not bothering over a bit of blood on my coat," Cas snapped back at him.

"Sorry… And, er, thanks… for that," Dean replied awkwardly. After a few seconds of silence Dean cleared his throat and gestured at the blood still soaked into Cas' coat. "So, what happened?"

"I killed a few demons to prevent them from breaking a seal"

"Wait. Demons? I thought this was a trickster thing… why are _demons_ involved?"

"They like destruction and this war promises an infinite amount," Cas replied and Dean sighed deeply; whatever this war was, Dean was too tired to deal with it right now. He hadn't gotten a real night's sleep since before he went to hell… he was both mentally and physically exhausted.

But after all the bad he'd done in the pit, he had to at least try to atone for _some_ of it.

"So, you want our help to stop the seals," Dean stated and Cas nodded.

"There's a potential one in a few days' time not too far from here. A spell will force ghosts to return and become vengeful," Cas said and took a brief pause as he seemed to scrutinise Dean. "It's late, you should get some sleep, Dean. I'll give you more details tomorrow." Dean didn't want to sleep. He didn't want the nightmares. There was still a lot of questions that he needed answers to and so he decided to ask a few now.

"Wait, Cas," Dean called out before the trickster had time to disappear on him. "You said that something very specific had to happen before all of this could… what was it?"

"The first seal"

"Okay… well what _was_ the first seal?"

"It was," Cas hesitated, looking unsure about if he should tell Dean. "It was a righteous man spilling blood in hell"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys appreciate how much effort I put into creating these seals, granted I stole some of them from season 6 of Dexter… but, the ones I actually made up I put a lot of thought into. Like this one was 40 sacrifices because in season 1 they mentioned 40 being 'biblical numerology' and 'meaning death'. Seriously, I'm more proud of the seal then the rest of the chapter.


	13. Metamorphosis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long wait for this chapter, I meant to update sooner (I really did). No one wants to hear the full explanation as to why I haven't updated so I'll keep it short: 1.) My revision 2.)Writing this fic isn't as relaxing for a revision break as for my Sterek one is because, for now, I'm restricted and have to keep to canon events 3.) My laptop broke.
> 
> In fact, the only reason this chapter is even written now and not in 2 weeks time when I've bought a new laptop and don't have to suffer using my Dad's horrible one, is because of that one guest reviewer who reviewed like four times begging for an update. So yeah, this update is for you!

Cas paused and waited for Dean to fully understand what he meant. Realisation dawned on the hunter and Cas noticed his stricken face. He could see just how mortified Dean was at the notion that he'd broken the first seal.

"How… how do you know it's been broken?" Dean stammered out and the angel looked at him sympathetically. He stayed silent for a few seconds, unsure how to confirm to his friend that he knew Dean had broken the seal. He'd known from the beginning that this was the demons' plan and yet never warned either of the Winchesters; but how was he supposed to tell Dean that without telling him everything else or causing suspicion.

"It's not your fault, Dean."

The hunter's breathing stuttered as Cas confirmed that he did indeed know what Dean had done in hell.

"Yeah, no, of course not… all I did was start a massive ass war that'll destroy the planet." Cas stared at Dean as the hunter rubbed his hand down across his face, like he was trying to rub away the memories. Or maybe he was trying to convince himself that this was all a nightmare and he just needed to wake-up and he'd be a kid again with his mother would be there to comfort him. There was only one thing that Cas could think to tell him, one thing that he truly believed.

"Everyone deserves forgiveness, Dean. Even you."

[] [] []

It was the night after the Rising of the Witnesses seal that Cas next saw Dean. Sam and Bobby were with him and, together, they had successfully saved the seal from breaking. It had been a great relief to see them all working together as he watched in the shadows – he would have stepped in to help if they'd needed it. Dean had been a bit reckless in his assault against several demons and had hurt his shoulder; Cas feared his self-loathing was the cause of his rashness and wondered if it wouldn't have been better for him to have lied about what the first seal had been. But he quickly shut that line of thought down – he couldn't keep burying them in deceit.

Dean had gone to the bar down the road from the motel while Sam and Bobby had gone back to get some sleep. After a while, once Cas had realised he wasn't there to pick up women but instead to drown his sorrows in a glass, Cas showed up next to him. Dean didn't even flinch – either because he was used to it by now or his reflexes had become so slow from the bottle he'd just drank.

"Thank you for helping with the seal," Cas said after a moment deliberation.

"Well, it's the least I could do… since I started this crap-fest and all."

"What I'm about to say is probably a waste of breath – but you should stop blaming yourself for this," Cas muttered and ordered himself a drink.

"Yeah, you're right," Dean said as he downed the rest of his glass, "it was a wasted breath." They sat in silence for a bit longer; Cas wanted to make Dean feel better but he knew that nothing he could say would work. "So… why can't I remember you? In hell, I mean. I can remember the whole damn experience – every second… but I can't remember you saving me."

Cas knew why Dean couldn't remember. It was his grace. It had cleansed his soul, burnt out anything demonic that was building in there and protected him. A soul could see Cas' true visage without any repercussions – but put that soul back into a body and it was possible that just thinking about an angel's true form could lead to some serious physical and mental health problems. Especially when the soul was a damaged as Dean's was right in that moment – it could have killed him… _again._

"It must have been something to do with the transition," is how he answered instead. "I wouldn't know. It's not like I've raised anyone from hell before." So much for his honesty.

_**(Dean's Point of View)** _

It'd been a few weeks since Dean had last seen Cas and, in that time, Sam hadn't stopped arguing with him. Sam didn't trust the trickster, didn't think they should be working with him. But Sam didn't know why Dean _had to_ help. How he _had to_ atone. And Dean was left to wonder what his brother would think of him if he _did_ know. He wasn't about to test that anytime soon.

They were arguing – again – when Dean's phone rang and they both left to help out a hunter friend.

"This argument isn't over, Dean," Sam said angrily as they climbed into the car.

"Oh, I know… but there's something I just don't understand. You've _always_ wanted to see the good in people, Sammy. So why not Cas too?"

"He's not _people_ , Dean. He's a monster"

"And Ruby was a demon," Dean replied smoothly. "But you trusted her"

"Ruby _helped_ us. She didn't give us a reason _to_ doubt her."

Dean just shook his head as he looked on at the road

[] [] []

Dean had definitely never heard of a Rugaru before so who was he and Sam to say anything about Travis's methods? But something just didn't seem right. That poor guy didn't even know what he was and he hadn't hurt _anyone_. But they were supposed to just kill him? Part of him wanted to just do what Travis said – but he wasn't sure if he trusted that part of himself anymore. He wanted to atone but he had no idea what he was supposed to do about this thing.

So he called Cas.

He waited until Sam was nowhere around before he prayed to the Demi-God.

"What do you need, Dean?" The trickster asked as he appeared.

"What do you know about Rugaru's?"

"A fair amount. Why?"

"Well, it seems we have a guy here with a strong hunger for raw meat," Dean explained. "There's another hunter working the case with us, he says that there's no way to stop the dude from turning… I was kind of hoping you'd know better." Cas seemed to hesitate for a moment before answering.

"You'll have to isolate him from everyone and any source of meat for around a week – maybe longer. It'll cause him a lot of pain but… it is possible." Cas confirmed and it was like a weight was lifted from Dean – he could save this guy's life.

"Okay… thanks, Cas. That really helped."

"Dean…" The trickster began to say instead of just leaving like Dean had expected him to do. "This other hunter, I can sense his soul… I don't like it. Something doesn't seem right about him – be careful. Keep an eye on him."

Before Dean could ask, Cas had already left.

It wasn't long later that Sam came back to the motel room with food and Dean could pass on the plan – deliberately missing out Cas' name. Sam was completely on board. They both explained the new plan to Travis – who was less than happy about it.

Cas' words rang inside Dean's head.

It didn't take too much convincing for Sam to agree that they should keep an eye out for Travis. The Winchester's trailed the other hunter to the Rugaru's house – managing to stop him before he could hurt anyone. Travis shot at Sam for taking the monster's side as Dean lead the pregnant wife out of harm's way. He ran back to help his little brother but Travis was already dead and Sam was bleeding from his left arm where he'd just managed to dodge a bullet. They couldn't help but think how glad they were that they had gotten there and stopped Travis before the man, Jack, had gotten home.

[] [] []

Dean and Sam waited Jack out through his cravings. They waited through his screaming, his shouting, his clawing at the door and his threats to rip them apart with his teeth if they didn't let him out. But Jack was in isolation with no meat of any kind for a little over a week before the noises just suddenly stopped one morning.

He'd gone through the craving and not been able to give in. He was no longer in risk of going through the change. He was a shaking mess and they left him chained up in the abandoned bomb shelter for a few more days to make sure before they reunited him with his wife and unborn child.

"So," Dean began as he drove the impala away from Jack's house. "Jack didn't change."

"No, he didn't" Sam replied – lounging back in the passenger seat with his eyes closed.

"I suppose that means that not all monsters are, well, _monsters_. They don't have to be evil just because it's in their nature."

"That's right… but Cas _is_ evil, Dean. This experience isn't gonna change my mind on that," Sam replied without moving from his relaxed position. "He's evil and you shouldn't keep trusting him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there wasn't much happening in this chapter but everything in the next chapter is completely new and doesn't follow ANY episode! I think you'll like it. I'm not the best writer (or the best at updating at the moment) but please review because it really does give me more encouragement to keep writing and get the updates posted sooner.


	14. Ring of Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday to KayCee, aka; that one follower of this fic who keeps reviewing to ask for another chapter and refuses to give up on me and my terribly slow updates. This is my birthday present to you (sorry it's a bit terrible and kinda short too). It's named after the Johnny Cash song.

Lilith paced around the table of demons. Everyone in the room was silent and awaiting her orders.

"We need to push Sam Winchester back in the right direction," she said slowly while looking straight on at the other five demons in the room. They would all be crucial to her plans. "But that damn trickster keeps getting in the way. So far, we have learnt nothing about him – that needs to change. Tobias, I'm leaving this to you. Their group needs to be infiltrated and their weaknesses need to be learnt. Ruby failed but I trust that you won't."

The tall gangly demon nodded his head, determined to make Lilith happy.

"Do you really think _Tobias_ is the right demon for that?" Another demon scowled before Lilith could say anything further.

" _Crowley_ ," she sneered. "You're questioning my orders? You're lucky that I didn't feed you to the dogs for screwing up Dean's deal last year."

"It all worked out in the end didn't it? He still went to hell, he still broke the first seal," the smarmy demon replied. "And that's not really the point right now, is it?" Crowley paused and leaned back in his chair as all the demons in the room stared at him; but Lilith made no other move to quiet him so he kept talking. "The point is, that Tobias is the last person the Winchesters would trust – look at him; he talks like a prat and he can't smile without pulling a muscle. They would peg him as a demon the second he got on their radar."

"You're a weasel, Crowley. I'm not letting you anywhere near those boys," Lilith responded, guessing Crowley's true intentions. "However… your crossroad deals could come in very useful," she continued as a new plan began to brew. Lilith smirked to herself.

The Winchesters and their pet trickster wouldn't know what hit them.

[] [] []

Dean was sitting at the bar alone while staring into his glass. It was still fairly early and so the bar was still a couple of hours away from being busy – but he'd had a long day. He wasn't too sure what the demons were up to but why did they have to go playing with fire?

Today he'd been captured, beaten, tied up and thrown onto a boat in the middle of a lake that was then _blown up_! He'd barely been able to make it out alive and only managed to escape the damn boat seconds before it was set alight. He'd almost been the sacrifice for a seal and he should be angry – and he _was_ , right up until him and Sam ganked the demons. Then he just felt empty. He'd saved a seal… great. He'd been saving them for months now – there just always seemed to be another one right around the corner. This fight was never ending.

Sam was back at the motel, researching, but Dean just needed to get out of there. He needed a distraction. Though he didn't suppose he was going to be getting laid tonight, what with the black eye he was currently supporting from being kicked around by a group of demons.

"I'm guessing that you had a bad day?"

Dean turned slightly and saw Cas sliding into the seat next to him at the bar.

"You could say that," Dean replied. He downed the last of his drink and waved the barmaid over to order another. Once he'd got his new drink and paid for it, Cas started talking again.

"This is just about a bad day is it," he said as he indicated to Dean's current state of drunkenness. Dean said nothing in reply. "You need to stop blaming yourself." Dean once again kept quiet; he would never be able to quit blaming himself for everything that was about to happen. For all the deaths that would have been avoided if he'd just kept saying no to Alastair. "You need to have some fun."

"Fun?" Dean asked and Cas nodded.

"How about a bet? See who can pick up a girl the quickest." Dean snorted into his glass.

"You really think you can beat me at that?" He asked, "You look like a tax accountant," he mentioned, indicating the trickster's current state of dress… _only_ state of dress? Did Cas actually own any other clothes?

"I'll even heal that black eye of yours," Cas lifted his hand to Deans shoulder and suddenly, the throbbing stopped. Dean smirked and agreed.

Cas ordered a drink and then they turned to survey the crowd. They agreed that they just needed to get the girl's number – nothing more. It worked quite well as a distraction until, twenty minutes later, Dean was talking to a girl and he turned around to look at the bar. That's when he saw Cas with his hands all over this women. She was tall and leggy with brown hair and a large bust. The girl was kissing at his jaw. Cas opened his eyes and grinned at Dean, holding up a napkin that clearly had the girl's number on.

Dean had to admit that Cas had skills. So they decided to do the first to get _three_ numbers.

Dean ended up winning the bet by less than a minute and Cas was forced to pay for the remainder of their drinks. He looked down at the napkins with numbers on and frowned – he had no interest in calling _any_ of them. Particularly the first girl, she'd been really dull.

Then Dean looked over at Cas' napkins and one of the names jumped out at him. He frowned and pulled the napkin closer as he reread the name that was written above the eleven digits. Yep, that definitely said Jack. Cas had got a _guy's_ number? Dean frowned as he remembered all the flirting and innuendos from back when they'd first met. Had those actually meant something? And then there was that god damn _kiss_ that had taken Dean _months_ to forget.

There was a million questions running around Dean's head; was Cas interested in him? Was he interested in Cas? And what if the answer to both those questions was yes? Could they actually be together?

[] [] []

Zachariah walked down the long hallway. He'd been summoned to talk with Michael and that couldn't mean anything but bad news. He had only ever been to Michael's preferred Heaven twice before – it was that of some politician who had required a sizable amount of money from inheritance. The house was vast and could be described as beautiful if Zachariah bothered enough for those things – but he usually didn't. And right at that moment he was too worried to even fully notice his surroundings. A few moments later, he arrived at the room where the Archangel resided in.

"Zachariah," Michael acknowledged and Zachariah bowed his head in respect. "Come in. I want a report on your progress." Zachariah of course knew what Michael was referring to. It was the only thing of any importance at the time being and everyone was getting more and more restless the longer that Dean Winchester was left unfound. Zachariah gave orders to the leaders of five different garrisons. All five had been put onto the task of finding the vessel and rescuing him from perdition. They had searched hell for many earth months before receiving the news that the Winchester had already been rescued.

Then the search had moved to earth but something was shielding their ability to track him.

"Unfortunately, there hasn't been much progress yet, Michael," Zachariah replied slowly and felt the annoyance radiating off of Michael's celestial form.

"You haven't been able to find Dean Winchester?"

"No, we haven't."

"What about his brother?" Michael asked and Zachariah shook his head. "Their friends?"

"I'm afraid not, sir."

"Well then, whatever you are doing is turning out to be highly ineffective. Have you not tried new tactics?" The question was asked completely calmly but Zachariah could sense the tension bubbling underneath the surface.

"We've tried estimating which cases the brothers will take on next but so far to no avail,"

"Maybe this needs some new eyes. Should I bring in someone else for your job?" Michael threatened and Zachariah felt a sense of fear – he was of too high a rank, he knew too much, a demotion was not an option available for him. If he was fired it would likely mean his death. "You have one last chance, Zachariah. Find Dean Winchester. Find whatever rescued him from hell and _destroy_ it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's finally starting to resemble a Destiel story line. Only took 14 chapters to get to it… did I mention it was slow burn?


	15. Yellow Fever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to update without any prodding from followers!
> 
> Okay guys, listen up because this is IMPORTANT: There are potential TRIGGER WARNINGS in this chapter. I have written them at the end of it

Dean was just leaving the morgue with Sam when he got a call from an unknown number. He stepped away from where Sam was still talking to the medical examiner for a little privacy as he accepted the call.

"Dean," the voice on the other end said and Dean paused – people always sounded a little different on the phone but he could swear that sounded like _Cas_. "What case are you working?"

"Cas? You have a phone?" Dean replied instead of answering. There was a sigh from the other end of the line.

"Yes, Dean, I have a phone. Now pay attention because this is urgent. _What case are you working_?"

"I'm not sure yet, we've only just left the examiner's office. There's still a lot of things it could be; ghosts, vampires, chupacabra…" Dean replied, there was a pause before Cas answered.

"It's not a chupacabra, Dean. It's ghost sickness."

"What is..? Wait a second," Dean said into the phone then removed it from his face and signalled for Sam to come over to him. "Have you heard of ghost sickness?" He asked his brother, who shrugged.

"Erm, yeah. Ghosts infect the living and cause them to become progressively more terrified... You think that's what we're dealing with?"

"Cas does," Dean replied and he watched the irritation grow on Sam's face. But before his younger brother could say anything else, Cas was talking again and Dean put the phone closer to his ear once more. "What'd you say?"

"I said that isn't everything… You're infected, Dean. You only have around 24 hours left before your body shuts down."

"That's not exactly the most comforting news, Cas. Are you sure?"

"Yes." Dean waited for further explanation that didn't come before sighing and rubbing at his face with his free hand.

"Well, you got any suggestions for dealing with it, at least?"

"The same way you deal with any other ghost… I would help but I have a seal to protect."

"Yeah, no problem. I'll talk to you later," _hopefully_.

Dean hung up and explained everything Cas had told him to Sam who rang Bobby for help

[] [] []

Cas paced nervously around the warehouse. He couldn't leave. He _couldn't_. The wormwood seal could be at any minute. The demons would be poisoning thousands of people at any minute and he had to stop them. But he could sense the ghost sickness in Dean growing stronger. He could feel his fear and it made Cas sick to his stomach.

He'd given them plenty of head start – told them minutes after Dean had been infected, So _why wasn't he cured yet_?! There had to be something wrong. Something was going on and they needed his help! But so did the thousands of people about to be sacrificed.

Cas had spent days interrogating demons to withdraw as much information about their plans as possible. So he knew that they were planning on exploding a nuclear power plant. He knew which one too. And he knew they were going to do it by possessing several of the plant's employees. He just didn't know _when_ the demons would make their move.

They hadn't gone for this seal last time but too much had changed in this timeline. The demons had broken very few seals and were getting more desperate. They were going at every seal that they could and Cas was beginning to lose too many. He wondered how the other angels were coping with the bombardment. How many had died because of him?

_**(Dean's Point of View)** _

Dean wasn't too sure when the hallucinations had started. But they were getting progressively more vivid since that cop had tried to kill him. He started shaking as he heard the hell hounds howling in the distance. He can't go back to hell. He _can't_. He had to just try and trust in his brother and Bobby. If anyone could get him out of this mess, it'd be them. But if he did go to hell again, would Cas be able to save him this time? Would he even _want_ to? He wasn't here trying to stop his death, after all. Maybe he didn't care…

Dean silently reprimanded himself. Cas was saving seals – he was helping to save all of the millions of lives that _Dean,_ himself, had put into danger in the first place. Sam kept insisting that Cas was a monster, but if only he knew that _that_ title was reserved for Dean. What would Sam say then?

Dean heard a pounding against the door, it was shaking. Something was trying to get in. Dean stood up and grabbed for a weapon as his heart began to beat out of his chest. He wouldn't touch his knife because it was too risky and sharp and his gun was in the car – he didn't want _that_ accidently going off. So he picked up a book to swing at the head of whoever was trying to get in. But then the banging outside the door stopped and Dean froze. The door handle twisted and opened slowly – despite the demon warding he'd had Sam place down before he'd left.

Dean's heart was _pounding_ out of his chest, becoming very uncomfortable, until he saw who had walked in. Cas stood in the doorway, wiping his hands against his trench coat, with a sly smile on his face. And Dean just _relaxed_. Cas was here to help. Everything would be fine.

"Dean. Dean, calm down. I'm here now," Cas said as he walked forward and Dean _was_ calm. All of a sudden he just felt better, his heart was fine once more. Dean let out a deep breath and nodded. Cas smiled and walked those few extra feet and then suddenly, they were kissing. It was fast and pressing. Dean's eyes opened wide for all of a few seconds before he responded urgently to the press of the trickster's lips. Dean opened his mouth as Cas licked his way inside. It was just like he remembered it being back when he had sold his soul to him. Dean had barely managed to forget about that first kiss but, since their bet at the bar a few weeks ago, he'd found himself thinking about it more and more often.

But now Cas' hands weren't all over some random girl in a bar, they were on Dean. The hunter bit lightly at Cas' bottom lip as the kiss continued. Cas surged forwards and led the, very willing, Dean to the bed and pushed him onto it. Dean, suddenly lying down, looked up at the trickster in amazement as Cas began to remove his trench coat.

"You're comfortable like this, aren't you, Dean," Cas spoke clearly with a smirk on his face. "You'd let me do anything I want to you… even while knowing that I'm powerful enough to squish you like a grape. You don't care, anymore though. Do you?" Cas continued as he threw the coat onto the floor. Dean didn't have any words so he began to sit up. But the trickster just pushed him back down again. He hadn't realised, until right that second, how much of a turn on it was to be held down. Or maybe it was just because it was Cas?

The Demi-God pulled his tie from around his neck then and Dean was about to speak when Cas shushed him.

"It's okay. I'm going to make you feel good."

Dean nodded. He'd felt like a walking corpse lately, he was dead on the inside and he just wanted to _feel_ again. Cas pulled Dean's hands up high and used the tie to fasten them to the headboard. Dean bit his lip, a little uncomfortable, and was able to speak for the first time since the trickster had kissed him.

"I dunno..." Dean muttered. But he was cut off by Cas' lips on his own once again. Cas moved past his mouth and licked at his jaw instead as he ground down at his hips.

"It'll be good. Promise," Cas muttered against Dean's skin, before leaning back with a grin on his face. "Maybe not for you… but _definitely_ for us," Cas laughed. Dean, confused, pulled against his restraints. The look on Cas' face… it was twisted and _wrong_. He tried to sit up but the trickster just pushed him back down again as he continued to sit on his waist.

"Cas… what's going on?" He asked in vain and another laugh sounded from inside the motel room. Dean was just able to see the figure walk out of the shadows and towards them. Alastair.

"I _really_ thought that you would know better than this, Dean," the demon said as he smirked widely. Dean's eyes shot up towards Cas, who was no-longer paying any attention to him and just seemed bored. Alastair pulled out a long knife as he walked closer. "Now… let's have some fun."

_**(Castiel's Point of View)** _

Cas was itching underneath his skin. He could sense Dean's heart beating fast and hard – maybe only minutes away from giving out? He _needed_ to go help. But he was still waiting for the demons to show. He couldn't justify leaving to help _one_ human and potentially letting thousands more die… even if that one human was Dean.

But when the demons _finally_ showed up, Cas wasted no time in disposing of them – just managing to restrain the leader of the group in a trap as he went to help Dean.

When he arrived at the motel room, he could tell instantly that Dean didn't have much time left. The hunter was muttering and squirming on the bed as his heart was pounding so rapidly in his chest that Cas was very concerned. Nothing he could do, short of destroying the ghost would be able to cure the ghost sickness – but he could heal the hunter enough to give Sam and Bobby a few extra minutes. Which is what he did.

Cas laid a hand on Dean's shoulder and was able to just barely weaken the effects of the ghost sickness for a little longer. Dean's eyes flew open and the hunter flung himself off the bed and in a defensive position when he saw Cas.

"Dean?" The angel called out, worried. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing… nothing," the hunter replied as he pushed himself so his back was against a wall. "Just another hallucination."

Dean stayed like that, armed with a book as his weapon, until Sam and Bobby got back. Cas had only been there for a few minutes by this time, and he was almost certain that they hadn't actually needed his help. But he had momentarily relieved Dean's discomfort – which was enough.

When he was able to return the warehouse that he had trapped the demon in, however, he found that it was empty and the devils trap was broken. It seemed that the demon had been let free of the trap. Cas sighed, it wasn't too big of a deal but, if he was going to keep on top of these seals, he _needed_ to keep questioning demons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in this chapter Dean was restrained by Castiel in what he assumed was a sexual manner. He wasn't too sure about it, however, and tried to voice his worries but Cas wouldn't let him. Nothing sexual actually happened and it turns out it wasn't actually Cas, it was part of Dean's hallucinations.
> 
> There is also an impression given that Dean was going to get tortured in his hallucination, but nothing gory was written


	16. You Shook Me All Night Long

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try my best to get back to regular/semi-regular updates but this fic is becoming increasingly harder to write. My interest in it has been dwindling so I've gone back over my notes and drastically cut it down. I cut out a plot twist and removed a few of the chapters that didn't really bare much, if any, purpose to the story line (so if this chapter feels like I skipped over a bit, that is why and I am sorry; I tried to adjust it to compensate but I'm not sure how well it worked). So, this is basically the start of the countdown to the big ending and, from now on, my chapters are all pretty much intense
> 
> This chapter is named after the ACDC song of the same name

Dean ran a shaking hand over his face. It had been several weeks since his hallucination, but it was still affecting him. He brought the tumbler filled with whiskey up to his dry lips and sipped at it. He was alone in the hotel room because Sam was at a library again, still searching for a way to kill Cas. But Dean didn't know what to do anymore. Weeks ago, he had been tortured by his hallucination of the trickster. He'd realised he'd been letting his guard down around him. He had told Sam that he was going to be more cooperative searching for a way to kill Cas, because he wanted to cover all of his bases.

But he knew his true feelings and he couldn't deny any longer how he felt for the trickster. He also couldn't deny how little he knew about him. And, over the past few weeks since the hallucination, he realized that he was at a fork in the road. He needed to either fully commit to hunting Cas. Or he could choose to continue to trust the demi-God. And if he was going to trust him, then he might as well give in and attempt a more intimate relationship.

Dean sighed before taking another swig from his glass. It was going to be a long night, it seemed. He emptied the glass, grimaced, and then began to pour himself a refill.

"Pour me one?" Came Cas' voice from behind him and Dean flinched slightly, splashing some of the alcohol onto the cheap, veneer, table he was sitting next to. Dean took a moment to collect himself before turning around to face the trickster.

"What are you here for? Another seal that needs saving?" Dean enquired, ignoring Cas' request for a drink.

"No seal. Not today, anyway. The demons appear to be regrouping – they've lost too many fights and I doubt that their management is happy about it," Cas replied dryly.

"So… what? You're just checking in?" Dean asked, suspiciously and Cas shrugged. The trickster stood not too far away from where Dean was sitting and the hunter didn't like having to look up to people when talking – so he stood. He leant against the table and continued sipping from his glass as what Cas had insinuated sunk in. The trickster had no reason to be there with him: he wasn't asking for a favour or using Dean for his own reasons. He was there just because he wanted to talk. He was bored and Dean was who he had come to.

A small smile flirted on Dean's face as he made his decision. _Fuck it_ , Dean slowly placed the tumbler onto the table and walked forward. Before Cas could react, Dean grabbed his face and pulled him in for a kiss. It wasn't chaste either. It was dirty and born of a sexual _need_. He _needed_ Cas, and he needed him _now_

**_(Castiel's Point of View)_ **

Dean's lips were on his own. They were warm and wet and tasted like whisky. And it was everything that Cas had been missing.

It was like everything was just falling back into place again. He was finally back at Dean's side – where he was supposed to be. It was an odd thought; he'd stopped believing in destiny a long time ago… but he couldn't shake the feeling that he was meant to be with Dean, that they would always find a way to be with each other. It was both comforting and worrying, so he pushed it out of his mind. He bit lightly down on Dean's lower lip and teased it with his tongue. Dean's breathy gasp of surprise tinged with want was like music to Cas. He loved it and craved more. So he grasped at Dean's sides and pulled him closer.

Cas licked gently at Dean's lips before pushing his tongue inside and tasting his mouth. Dean responded instantly and their tongues danced against each other, Cas made circular motions on the roof of the man's mouth and he moaned loudly and responded by slipping the overcoat off Cas' shoulder. They were rushing, both just _needing_ each other. Cas just knew that their first time together in this universe would be fast and messy. A part of him felt bad about that (not that it had been any different in his own universe) but he couldn't bring himself to slow things down. They would have time to kiss and fully learn each other's bodies later, Cas reasoned as he helped Dean by shucking his coat off and onto the floor. He contemplated just making their clothes disappear, but decided that it was more fun to undress each other.

And so they did. Cas pulled back momentarily, when his fingers found the hem of Dean's shirt, so that he could pull it over the human's head – revealing the hard expanse of abs which tensed as Cas' fingers gently brushed over them.

There was a moment of complete stillness before Dean grabbed for Cas' clothes. His tie and shirt were yanked away within moments. Once their skin was exposed, their mouths were back on each other. Dean was sucking the angel's lower lip into his mouth as Cas scraped his teeth lightly against the Dean's top lip and they both pulled frantically at the remainder of each other's clothes.

Cas got Dean's jeans unzipped and smiled triumphantly against the kiss. He began to walk forward slowly, pushing Dean backwards and eventually against a wall. Their lips separated as a surprised huff escaped the man's lips.

In the next second, the angel had his hands pulling Dean's jeans and boxer briefs down the man's thighs with a sharp shove. He got a nice view of Dean's dick and he stared at it appreciatively before Dean bent down to remove the clothing from around this ankles. Cas took that moment to remove his own trousers. So, when Dean righted himself, they were both standing completely naked. He saw the way that Dean's eyes roamed over his body.

After a moment, Cas leant in closer and kissed Dean again. He slowly grinded his hips against Dean's. Both of their erections were newly forming and the movement encouraged them to become harder. Dean's hands moved down Cas' body and found their way onto his hips. Cas broke the kiss and pushed against Dean, licking and biting at his jaw and neck as he steadily thrust their erections together.

" _God_ , Cas! That's so" he sucked in a breath as Cas squeezed at his ass, " _good_ ". Cas chuckled at the reaction he caused and lazily thrust their erections together again, Dean grabbed hold of Cas' hair and pulled him off his neck and their lips made contact. Dean nibbled at his lower lip and tugged lightly at his black hair, Cas allowed him to as he thrust their erections together again. Then the hunter moved away from his lips and sucked at his ear, nibbling it in an attempt to gain control. But Cas _needed_ to make this good for Dean… maybe that way it would turn out different than last time. Maybe, this way, Dean wouldn't think it was a mistake.

Cas placed his hand on Dean's chest and easily pushed him off and back against the wall. He then smirked and slid his hand slowly down Dean's chest. His hands roamed over the familiar body, tracing the strong muscles in ways that made Dean shiver. He pulled away slightly and ran his eyes over the form next to him admiringly, paying special attention to the large protruding lower member which throbbed with need at his longing gaze. He brushed it lightly with the back of his hand and it twitched, then he moved his hands to Dean's hips. He pressed against him once more and Dean moaned; their eyes connected and Cas smirked. He kissed him sloppily and began to move the kisses further down Dean's body. He licked and kissed quickly at the muscle on show before finally reaching Dean's dick.

Cas smirked and lowered his lips to the cock in front of him. He kissed the apex softly and licked at it. He tasted the man's pre-come and smiled. It wasn't exactly a nice taste, but it was _Dean_ and so he lapped it all off. He ran his tongue over the length of the dick and got a shudder and moan as a reply. He kissed again at the apex and slowly opened his mouth and lowered until his lips were wrapped around the head. He sucked.

" _Cas!_ " Dean moaned as his eyes sprung open. They were completely lust blown by this point and Castiel chuckled around the man's dick, eliciting another shudder of delight.

He pushed his mouth further down his dick and slowly took it all in, deep-throating him. He was thankful in that moment that he didn't have a gag reflex. After a few seconds he pulled back up and sucked again, then he started to bob his head.

"M _mmm_ …" Dean moaned. Cas was good at blow jobs, he'd given more than enough of them and had almost perfected his technique by this point. But, this time his purpose wasn't purely to get Dean off. But to distract him as he opened him up. He rarely used his manipulation of the universe to summon objects, not like Gabriel so often did. But he had more than enough power to do it – so he lazily summoned a small tube of lube. He discretely spread some on his fingers as he continued to bob his head on Dean's dick as his other hand held onto the man's hips.

Cas slowly brought his hand up to Dean's hole and brushed against it with his lubed-up fingers. He watched the hunter's face carefully for any indication that Dean wasn't okay with Cas' direction.

Dean's eyes shot open in surprise, so Cas went a little slow. He circled the rim and pushed against in gently, but didn't attempt to enter. Dean's eyes fell closed again and he pushed his hips down against Cas' fingers.

" _Yes_ ," Dean whispered, almost incoherently, as he nodded frantically. Cas didn't need any more confirmation that Dean was willing and, in one smooth motion, he slipped the tip of his middle finger into the hunter's ass. Dean hissed lightly and so Cas sucked sharply on the dick in his mouth – using the blow job as a way to distract his lover from the stretch against his rim.

He solely pushed the rest of the finger inside and began to open Dean up. It was slow process at first because he didn't want to push too much too soon. But after he brushed against Dean's prostate, it began to speed up. Dean pushed back onto Cas' fingers in a needy fashion, begging for more. More fingers. More pleasure. Dean quivered and moaned under Cas' touch as he got closer and closer to his orgasm. He was squirming for something deeper but Cas could see how close he was. So he pulled back. All at once removing, not only his fingers, but also his mouth.

The angel sat back to see Dean panting from how close he came to his orgasm. It was quite a sight and so Cas just smiled and watched him come down from the edge. When the hunter finally opened his eyes, he smiled back at Cas and lifted his aching arm to tap at his own lip.

"You've… got a little…" he said through heavy breaths. Cas licked his tongue along his lip where Dean had indicated and cleaned away the pre-come that had landed there. He stood up and felt Dean's eyes raking over his unclothed body, he discovered that he was also thankful that he didn't blush easily. Because that look would have turned a regular human beet red.

Cas ran his hands up Dean's sides and smirked before leaning forward and close to Dean's ear.

"Are you ready for me?" He whispered, lips brushing skin as he spoke. Dean nodded his confirmation and so Cas flipped him so that his front was now pressed against the wall. Dean didn't have time to react to the new position before Cas was covering his own erection in the lube he had manifested. Cas placed his dick at Dean's entrance and the man tensed, Cas realised that he might have started to panic at the idea of what was about to happen.

"How you doing there?" Cas asked as he wiggled his hips at Dean's entrance but didn't go inside, not yet. Despite his act of indifference, if Dean wasn't completely sure that he wanted this then Cas would never even think of forcing him to. Dean swallowed and nodded.

"You sure?" The angel asked, he made his voice taunting but he was concerned.

"Just fuck me already, Cas!" Dean bit back and so he pushed inside. Dean inhaled sharply, though Cas had made sure the hunter was as stretched out as possible so it was as painless as it could be. Cas remembered the first time that Dean had fucked him, the shock of being completely filled. It was uncomfortable, but it got a lot better. And then he remembered the many times that he had fucked Dean and how much the hunter had loved to be the bottom. This Dean didn't know yet, he had never done this before. But he would know how great it would feel soon – and Cas would be the one to show him.

Cas rocked slowly at first, moving his hips in circular motions and searching for that pleasure point. He'd become very used to having the feeling of another person wrapped around his dick and knew just how to make this amazing for Dean.

The Winchester shuddered and gasped out a moan as Cas hit the prostate. Dean's muscle around his dick spasmed lightly with pleasure and Cas inhaled deeply at the tightness around his dick. He loved the feeling that the one little movement had caused and he started to move faster and harder, pushing in and out of Dean and hitting his prostate with every inward thrust. Both men groaned and panted, but it wasn't enough for Cas… he wanted to make Dean _scream_. And so he pulled them backwards slightly and bent Dean over just enough to make it perfect. He pushed harder into the man and as their bodies collided he was rewarded. Dean screamed his name over and over again. Each word giving him all the more encouragement to go faster… harder. Dean's body was perfect as he thrust in and out repeatedly. Dean tried to push back against the thrusts but he didn't need to as Cas was pulling him onto his dick with his tight grip on his hips.

" _Cas!_ " Dean screamed out in immense pleasure and he pushed harder; he got into a pace that would be difficult for a human to do and then Dean wasn't able to speak; his head was tilted to the ceiling, eyes closed and lips parted in a silent scream as he orgasmed, painting his stomach and the walls white with his come. Dean's body arched as he went over the edge and came all over the wall.

Cas slowed his rocking hips, he had probably payed too much attention to Dean's dick earlier, that's why the man had come so soon while Cas was still nowhere near as close. He contemplated just pulling out and finishing himself off by hand, but Dean rocked back against his dick encouragingly.

"Keep going," Dean muttered breathlessly, his face plastered against the hotel wallpaper. Cas nodded. He lowered his face to the back of Dean's neck and pressed a short kiss there before lowering his head to rest his forehead against Dean's shoulder. He tightened his grip once more against Dean's hip bones and sped up his thrusting again. He'd didn't go as harsh as he had been earlier but Dean's tight, warm, hole was clenching around his dick every time that he continued to brush against Dean's prostate, helping to bring him closer to his orgasm. He quaked and let out a series of breathless moans as he came inside Dean. He stayed buried in the beautiful heat for a few more moments as he regained his breath, before he pulled out of him and Dean was barely holding himself up right as he panted, completely blissed out.

"That was… _incredible_ ," Dean whispered as he turned around to lean his back against the wall; they locked eyes with each other and he grinned. Cas leant forwards and kissed Dean's smiling lips, running his tongue over them as he sucked them into his mouth. The man laughed, still high from his orgasm, and encouraged the wet kiss that came from Cas. When it was over, Dean collapsed to the floor, panting for breath and barely able to speak. Every muscle in his body hummed and he was so weak that he only just managed enough energy to twist his legs out from underneath himself and splay them out across the floor in front as he leant back against the hotel wall.

"I think… I think you actually came close to killing me just," Dean said, only half joking.

"Not quite," Cas replied and then chuckled; "but I'm sure you wouldn't have minded going out like that…" Cas turned and looked at his clothes that were scattered around the floor. He got up to put them on and turned back to see that Dean had closed his eyes. He wanted to curl up next to the man and stay with him… but he knew from his time without power that it could be seen as needy, and it was better to be mysterious and let Dean miss him. So, instead, instead of indulged himself in his urge to cuddle, he flew away… but not before taking a mental picture of his blissed out lover on the floor.

Dean was sprawled out in a half sitting position with his chest and stomach covered in come. The wall above him was also streaked slightly in the white substance and some had dripped into his messy, sex-hair from where his head was leaning against the structure. And Cas couldn't see it but he knew his own come was slowly dripping out of the man's backside. He was the perfect image of sex.

[] [] []

When Cas left, he wasn't sure where to go. He didn't want to be alone right now, he was just too damn happy. So he flew towards Sam who was currently at a library, researching ways to kill him. He still felt hurt that a man who he thought so highly of would despise him in such a way… but then again, they thought he was a monster. And he supposed he had taken much more time trying to get Dean to think of him as a friend than Sam.

After a few hours the Winchester's face lit up. Sam quickly packed up several useless books and put them back on their shelves before taking the one he'd been reading from to the front desk to check out. Cas followed him out the library and when he saw Sam get into the impala, he flew back towards the motel. Dean was still passed out against the wall, naked and covered in their come. Cas moved forwards and placed his hand on the man's shoulder, he shook him gently and woke him up, but turned invisible before he could be seen.

Dean's eyes slowly opened and he stretched, he winced at the dull pain the movement caused in his ass. The man's eyes searched the room. After a moment Dean dragged himself up off the floor and forced his aching muscles to move until he groggily walked into the bathroom for a shower. Cas watched him and smirked. He heard the running water and fought the urge to join him under the hot and relaxing spray. A few minutes later, Sam walked in the door. He didn't seem to notice the slight stains on the walls and part of the floor where Cas and Dean had had sex.

"Sam?" Dean shouted from the bathroom and the youngest Winchester rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm back," he shouted in return and then the sound of running water was cut off and Dean left the shower. Sam was taking stuff out of his bag and he turned to place them on the table.

Dean came into the room, with a towel wrapped around his waist, and grabbed the clothes from the chair, discreetly kicking his discarded clothes from earlier into a less-questionable pile next to his bed. But he didn't move to go back into the bathroom to get dressed. He looked very deep in thought. The smile that had graced his face slowly dropped away and he turned serious. Sam noticed and waited a few moments for Dean to talk.

"Do you really think that Cas is one of the bad guys?" The angel moved closer to his lover and felt the emotions reel off him.

"I do. Everything about him… nothing makes sense. It's too suspicious."

Dean nodded slightly.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Dean replied in a dull tone.

"But it's okay… I think I've had a breakthrough," Sam picked up the book he'd borrowed from the library and flicked it to the right page before showing it to his brother. There was a large picture of an angel blade on the page and Dean took it without a word. "So there's apparently millions of different types of tricksters around the world and they're all killed by different weapons," Dean nodded to show he was listening, "and that's why it's been so hard to find the right thing to kill Cas with… because we have to find out what kind of trickster he is first."

"Yeah, we already know that Sam."

"But this blade is said to be able to kill _any_ type of trickster," Sam continued as he ignored the interruption and finished with a broad smile and glint of pride in his eyes.

"I don't know, Sam. A lot of the theories are just that… there's no proof that this thing will be able to kill him."

"Look at it. Doesn't it look just like the blade that Cas carries around?"

Dean nodded soberly.

"I'm still working on where to find it," Sam added and Dean nodded once more. He stayed quite for a moment more before he turned to head back into the bathroom. That's when Cas noticed the dried come that was still plastered into his hair. He reached out and lightly brushed his finger against the wet follicles, cleaning away the rest of the mess. Dean's head snapped around to look for Cas and frowned as he checked the room but saw nothing. He paused before padding off into the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just… I'm sorry. This was terrible and I'm so terribly sorry that you had to read it


	17. Sweet Emotion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter named after the Aerosmith song of the same name

Castiel took a long, slow breath. He was content. His life hadn't been this good in a long while and right now he had hope that everything could work out. It was possibly stupid to feel confident over all of his worries just because one thing had slotted into place. But that one thing wasn't just _anything_ … it was _Dean_. Love was a powerful emotion and it was making Cas feel invincible. If he could get Dean to fall for him even though he was feigning being a monster… well, he could do anything. Right?

Cas began to worry then about how Dean would react when he found out Cas had been lying to him this entire time… maybe it would soon be time to tell the boys the truth? He decided to talk to Gabriel about it because, really, how long could he be expected to keep up this charade?

Cas couldn't wait for the moment he would get to be himself around Dean again, but for now he was staying away. Not permanently; oh no, Cas couldn't do that even if he wanted to. But a few days would probably do Dean some good. He didn't want to seem too pushy with their relationship. If he kept his cool and stayed back for a while, then Dean was less likely to freak out, right? If he was being honest with himself, Cas wasn't entirely sure of what he was doing and if it would make things better or worse than the last time. But he had to _try_.

_**(Dean's Point of View)** _

Dean stared at his phone on the table and repeatedly tapped his index finger against the tough, glass, beer bottle that he was holding. It had been days since he'd last seen Cas. Days since he'd decided ' _fuck it_ ' and they'd had sex against the hotel wall. _Days_.

It wasn't like they usually saw each other every day, or even every other day, but he was still concerned. Because for Cas to just disappear without a word after what had happened? It either meant that he was hurt somewhere… or that he just didn't care as much as Dean did.

Dean didn't really know which was worse.

And it wasn't even like he could voice his thoughts to anyone. Because who was he going to talk to? Sam? Yeah… he could _really_ see that going down well. He didn't think Sam would have a problem with the ' _turns out I'm not quite as straight as we originally thought_ ' part of the conversation, but he might object when Dean told him that he found this out when he let Cas, aka the monster that Sam was searching desperately for a way to kill, fuck him against a wall.

And it was _good_.

Dear _God_ , was it good!

_No one_ just disappeared for days after having sex that good. So maybe Cas really _was_ hurt? Around and around the worries span in Dean's head. He couldn't seem to fully concentrate on anything else lately. Sam noticed and tried to get Dean to talk to him, but he would just snapped back instead. So Sam gave up and found them a hunt instead.

A hunt was good. It exercised his brain and gave him something else to concentrate on so that he wasn't constantly questioning himself and wondering if he should pray to Cas to check up on him, make sure everything was okay. The only time that the hunt _wasn't_ useful was when he was waiting around, like he was currently doing. He'd got back to the motel room earlier than planned from his trip to the victim's apartment and Sam was still at the morgue

Dean continued to tap his finger against the beer bottle. He shifted in his seat and looked over at his phone, waiting for… something. A message, maybe, from Cas. He picked it up and started to unlock it before shaking his head and placing it, roughly, back down on the table. He took another swing of his beer and waited some more. The clock on the wall ticked by slowly but he knew that Sam would be back at any minute. That was kind of a relief, soon it would be out of Dean's hands and he wouldn't be able to call Cas even if he decided it was important; because it wasn't like he could have the conversation that he wanted to have with Sam in the room.

"I'm being an idiot," Dean muttered to himself. He took another swig of his beer and picked up his phone. He was calling Cas' number before he could talk himself out of it.

Dean listened as the phone rang and rang but Cas didn't answer. He closed his eyes and sighed as he hung up without leaving a message. He wouldn't ring again, that would be too needy. He'd rang once and made the first move, now it was Cas' turn.

[] [] []

After the case was over, Sam went to the town's library to research the blade he'd found and so Dean was once again alone in the motel room. He rubbed at his forehead momentarily and then turned on his TV to help pass the time. He was just settling down, and watching a rerun of Doctor Sexy, when Cas showed up.

To say that Dean was shocked when the trickster showed up after days of silence, would be an understatement. Dean attempted to remain looking relaxed and cleared his throat to avoid making some sarcastic remark that would probably make him sound more like a jilted lover than anything else.

"Hello, Dean," the trickster said as he collapsed into a nearby chair, looking as cocky as ever.

"Hey, Cas. How are ya?" He replied as he, casually as possible, reached for the TV remote and started to flick through the channels to hide the fact he was endulging in an episode of Doctor Sexy and make it appear as if he was just channel surfing instead.

"I'm fine. How're you?"

"Just peachy."

Dean didn't know what he was doing, he realised. It had been a long time since he'd liked anyone as much as he now liked Cas and he wasn't entirely sure how to deal with that.

"So," Cas started, cutting right to the chase. "Do you regretting what happened last week?" Dean's thumb froze on the remote and he spent a moment analysing Cas' words. He obviously didn't regret it… but did this mean that Cas did? He set his shoulders and told himself to grow up before he turned to look from the TV to an expectant Cas.

"Not at all." Dean was building up the courage to ask if Cas was regretting it when the trickster smiled at him; not a smirk, but a genuine _smile_. It only lasted for a second before it faded into something smugger, but Dean suddenly felt warm all over.

"Perfect," Cas purred. "Because I _definitely_ think we should keep having sex." Dean's eyebrows lifted slightly at Cas' bluntness, but he absolutely agreed. His nod was almost unperceivable but his smile must have revealed his answer because, the next thing he knew, Cas was out of his chair and stripping off his trench coat. Dean stood up from where he'd been sitting against the headboard of the motel bed and met Cas' lips in a rough kiss.

Cas' hands buried in Dean's hair instantly, running through it and tugging at the strands as his tongue slowly took Dean apart. He shivered when Cas caught his lower lip between his teeth and pulled smoothly at it. Dean brought his hands to Cas' ass and squeezed as he pulled the trickster flush against his body. Cas moaned into Dean's mouth and they began to steadily rut against one another.

One of Cas' hands gave a final tug against Dean's hair and dropped to his jeans, instead, fiddling with the button but not popping it open just yet.

"How long do we have? When will Sam be back from the library?" Cas murmured against Dean's kiss-bitten lips. Dean shrugged.

"Probably hours; less if he finds something." Dean felt Cas' answering smile against his lips and let out a soft gasp as the trickster quickly undid his jeans and pushed his hand inside Dean's pants, cupping his semi-hard dick through the thin material of his boxer briefs. But something about what Cas had asked just didn't sit right inside Dean's mind… how had Cas known where Sam _was_?

Dean frowned at Cas as he pulled his lips away and took a minute to study the trickster, who frowned back at Dean for stopping. It was kind of ridiculous to be questioning something so small; Sam was always at the library lately, so obviously Cas would've just assumed that's where he'd be now… but then again, Cas wasn't around enough to _know_ that Sam was always at the library… unless…

Unless Cas could turn invisible.

Dean felt stupid just thinking it. But then he remembered when he'd been piercing the vail. The memory was dulled from his time spent in hell… but he had definitely been able to sense Cas in the room, even when his eyes told him there was no one around. And his gut had been right.

"Can you turn invisible?" Dean asked slowly and watched Cas' face carefully, noticing a slight twitch to his eye.

"Yes," Cas confirmed quietly, but he didn't move away. His hand was still down Dean's jeans and cupping his dick.

"And you've been spying on us."

"I like to think of it as checking in on you… not spying," Cas admitted and Dean nodded as he thought. Cas didn't move away and neither did Dean.

"You were worried about us?" Cas didn't answer, but Dean knew it was true. He thought about how many times Cas had shown up to save their lives or to just heal them when they were injured. He'd saved Dean from Hell, for God's sake. Dean knew there were a lot more hunters out there who would be less of a hassle and yet Cas kept coming back to them. Because, maybe at first it had been about finding someone who would help him fight the war… but somewhere along the way he'd begun to _care_ about them too.

Dean kissed Cas then, it was slower than they had ever kissed before but it was just as intense. He let his lips wander and began to mouth at Cas' jaw as the trickster gave a gently squeeze at Dean's half-hard dick and began to stroke it encouragingly. Dean was about to tell Cas that he liked this side of him and that he didn't have to always hide it in his cocky attitude because, really, a lot of people could have thought that Cas following them around was creepy but Dean somehow saw the charming and cute side to it. But then Cas shoved down Dean's briefs and his hand made contact with skin as he stroked his dick… everything Dean had previously been thinking flew out the window as his mind went completely blank.

He pulled Cas with him onto the bed and rived on the sheets as Cas fucked him until they were both exhausted and falling asleep.

_**(Sam's Point of View)** _

Sam was exhausted from the hunt; he knew that he should have just gone back to the motel to sleep, but instead he went to the library and worked until he passed out on top of the mythology text book.

His dream was confusing. It felt too strong, too real. _He was walking along a beach, one that Bobby had taken him and Dean to when they were kids… it was one of his only normal childhood memories. But he could feel the sand shifting underneath his toes and the icy bite of the wind against his face and ears. He'd never had a dream this_ real _before. And that was another thing that was new… he'd never been able to tell he was dreaming before. Maybe it wasn't a dream at all? Everything was just too… clear._

_Sam continued to walk down the empty beach, not really knowing where he was going but just having the_ urge _to walk. It wasn't long before he came across a balding man in a black suit; the man was standing and facing out over the ocean._

_"Hello, Sam," the man said as Sam approached. "Tell me? What is it you're doing stuck in a stuffy Library researching an angel blade?" Sam frowned but stayed silent and the man turned to face him. "You have a monster problem, hmm? Something that normal methods just can't handle?"_

_"A trickster," Sam surprised himself by answering._

_"Well, in that case, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that the blade you're after is real and it would be able to kill a trickster easily," the man said evenly. "The bad news is that you're never going to find one."_

_"Then what am I supposed to do?" Sam blurted out and the man smiled at him._

_"Let me help you." Sam paused. He didn't know who, or what, the man in front of him was and he wasn't about to go running into working with one monster to get rid of another._

_"Who are you?" He asked slowly_

_"My name is Zachariah. I'm an angel of the Lord."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, I finally updated! And I've also gone over all the previous chapters and edited them to take away the errors and make them better (they're obviously not perfect, but they're better). So I know I've promised this a lot before and you have no reason to believe me, but I'm finally going to get back to my regular updates. You don't have to believe me though. Just wait and see :)
> 
> Leave me a review to let me know what you thought of this chapter.
> 
> Btw, sorry for the lack of smut, but there's a lot to come (hehe) in the next few chapters and I didn't want to post too much of it.


	18. Sweet Dreams are Made of This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REUPLOADED because I'm an idiot and forgot to delete a note i'd left to remind myself to find the exact wording of Ellen's quote *face palm* (this, ladies and gentlemen, is what University does to a person). Chapter named after a Eurythmics song (also covered by Marilyn Manson and, arguably, made better because of it)

Dean woke gradually from the hand gently shaking his shoulder. He was drenched in cold sweat and shaking slightly as he lifted his hands to rub the dust from his eyes.

"You should let me take your nightmares away," Cas whispered, because Sam was still asleep only a few feet away, once Dean had sat up in his bed. This wasn't the first time that Cas had woken him from a nightmare, it wasn't the first time he'd offered to take them away from him, and it wouldn't be the last time either.

"I deserve them," Dean croaked out through his dry throat. Cas handed him a glass of water and sat on the side of the bed, watching as Dean sipped from it. He _did_ deserve the nightmares. No matter what the trickster said.

He had tortured souls in hell and brought on a war bigger than he could have imagined. So he could put up with a few nightmares when his punishment should be much, _much_ , worse. Once Dean's eyes had adjusted to the dark room, he looked up from the cool water in his glass to Cas' face. But the trickster seemed _off_.

"What's up, Cas?"

"A seal broke tonight," Cas answered. "It was my fault."

"Hey, don't say that. You can't save them all by yourself," Dean assured him, but Cas shook his head.

"I let a demon get away from me last month. And now that they have someone who's met me they're able to put wards up more specific wards," Cas turned to face away so that Dean could only see half of his face. "They're not very strong wards… but they _are_ stronger than before and it's enough to slow me down and give the demons more time."

"Cas, listen to me…" Dean lifted his hand that wasn't clutching the glass and touched his fingers to the stubble on Cas' jaw. "It wasn't your fault."

Dean wondered if this was how Cas always felt, constantly trying to reassure Dean that he shouldn't blame himself for a mistake. But Dean's mistake was something much more substantial than a demon escaping. He decided to put it out of his mind, though, and leant forward to capture Cas' lips in his own.

The kiss was brief and gentle, but it put a small smile on Cas' lips so it was perfect.

[] [] []

Dean wasn't especially surprised when Cas appeared in the backseat of his car when they were on their way to Bobby's. The trickster had been working with them even more often than normal despite Sam's protests, which were growing weaker and farther apart. Dean had to wonder if Sam was beginning to begrudgingly accept Cas' presence over the last few weeks. However, the atmosphere in the car still became icy for the rest of the drive and so Dean was thankful that it didn't last very long. They pulled up outside Bobby's house only twenty minutes later and immediately recognised the truck parked nearby.

Dean slid out of the Impala and heard the slam of car doors behind him as he walked up to the front door. He knocked loudly and only a few seconds later Ellen was swinging the door open.

"Dean," she greeted with a smile and pulled him into a big hug. But when Ellen pulled back she slapped Dean and stared him down. "What you can't pick up a _phone_? Are you allergic to giving me piece of mind? I gotta find out that you're alive from _Rufus_?!"

"Sorry, Ellen," he said quietly.

"Yeah, you'd better be. You better put me on speed-dial, kid." Dean heard a huffed laugh behind him that he knew was coming from Cas. Ellen looked over his shoulder at said trickster with her brow furrowed. "Who's this?"

"Cas, he's a friend," he said and ignored Sam rolling his eyes. Ellen continued to stare at the trickster for a little longer before turning to look back into the house where Bobby was standing behind her. Bobby gave a simple nod and Ellen turned back with a smile.

"Well come on in, boys. We have a lot to talk about," she said, seemingly appeased. Jo was standing in the kitchen and pouring herself a drink. She stopped to give Dean a quick hug and he smiled at her happily.

"Not that it's not great to see you, Ellen," Sam said as he followed Dean inside. "But what are you guys doing here?"

"We have a lead on Lilith," Jo answered and then paused when she saw Cas but she didn't say anything, probably overheard the earlier conversation between Dean and her Mother. "And we could do with some help." The girls continued to explain about where Lilith is and how they'd come across the information. When they were done Dean saw Cas nod minutely.

"I'll take care of it," Cas said and Dean jumped up straight from where he was resting against the table.

"Hey, hey, hey! Not without us, you're not!" He was quick to say before Cas could disappear on them. "What are you, suicidal?"

"I'm more than capable of working on my own, Dean," Cas countered.

"We're sure you are," Ellen said softly and yet still asserting. "But Dean's right. Lilith aint no ordinary demon. She's top of the chain… too much for one hunter to take down."

"I'm much more than just a hunter," Cas said slowly, but Dean could see that he was going to agree, anyway. Ellen and Jo stared at Cas silently for a moment before Bobby spoke up, answering their unasked question.

"Cas is a trickster."

_**(Ellen's Point of View)** _

To say that she wasn't concerned when she found out Cas was a trickster, would be a lie. Ellen was nervous. She had to be able to trust everyone she was going on a hunt with, and how could she trust a monster?

And so once they had got their plan sorted and everyone dispersed to get ready for the hunt tomorrow, she pulled Bobby aside to ask him a few questions.

"Do you really trust that trickster?" She asked quietly, trying to keep any judgement out of her voice.

"Not as much as Dean does, but a hell of a lot more than Sam," Bobby answered. Ellen nodded slowly, thinking.

"Well, why does Dean trust him so much?" She asked. Out of the brothers, Sam was the more trusting one and it was unusual to see their situations reversed.

"I don't know…" Bobby said with a small shake of his head. Ellen asked a few more questions but the answers didn't get much more useful. She decided to keep a much closer eye on the trickster; something _had_ to be going on that Bobby didn't know about. It didn't take her long to figure out what it was.

"I'll be damned," she muttered quietly to herself as she watched Cas bring Dean a bottle of beer from Bobby's fridge and caught the gentle moment that passed between them, the way their hands lingered just a little too long and the way their faces were both open and adoring. " _Idiots_ ," she muttered; talking about not only the love-sick Cas and Dean, but also Sam and Bobby for not noticing it.

She let her issue with Cas drop because she knew that no one could fake the look of pure love that was crossing his face every time he even glanced Dean's way. Cas wouldn't do anything to put Dean in danger, she was sure of it. And he would never risk losing him by putting his loved ones in danger.

_**(Dean's Point of View)** _

Dean hated sneaking around behind his family's back. Not telling Sam about Cas was one thing… but everyone else too? _They_ didn't hate Cas. Dean contemplated telling Bobby but figured it would have to wait for another time, he didn't want anything to be on Bobby's mind if Ellen's lead turned out to be true and they were fighting Lilith tomorrow.

Dean didn't think Bobby would be bothered that he was sleeping with a guy. But he _might_ be bothered that said guy was a trickster. And he would _definitely_ be bothered by keeping it a secret from Sam. So, no, tonight wasn't the right time to tell anyone. But _someday._

Everyone started to slip away as the night went on. Bobby went to his room, Ellen and Jo shared the guest bedroom, Sam and Dean kicked out on the sofas. Just before Jo went up she frowned in Cas' direction.

"Where are you going to sleep?" She asked quietly. Dean kept his eyes closed tight, he'd been reading too much into everything Jo and Cas had been saying all night, making himself jealous for no reason.

"I don't sleep," Cas told her quietly and Dean eventually heard the woman's footsteps up the stairs. Dean relaxed when he heard the light scrape of a wooden chair in the kitchen as Cas sat down. He let out a long breath and drifted off to sleep.

_Dean opened his eyes and found himself lying a large, soft, bed. The sheets were cream with very pale green swirls and the pillows were thicker than he'd ever had before. He sighed and pushed his head deep into the pillow, it felt so_ _good_ _. He was naked, but the room was warm enough that he didn't feel any chill lying on top of the thick duvet._

_"You like the bed?" Cas asked. He sounded like he was lying right next to Dean, but his head was still buried deep in the pillow and so he couldn't be completely sure._

_"_ _Fuck_ _, yeah," Dean said and then paused as he remembered how he had fallen asleep last night. How had he got here? Where_ _was_ _here? He pulled himself up so that he was leaning the majority of his weight onto his elbows as he lay on his stomach. Cas was lying next to him, completely naked. Dean felt his dick give an interested twitch as his eyes roamed over his lover's naked body. Cas watched him with a smile as Dean's eyes paid special attention to Cas' long thick, cut dick._

_Dean's mind got a little lost in fantasies for a moment before he remembered his question._

_"Where are we?" He asked once he'd finally been able to drag his eyes back up to Cas' face._

_"_ _Technically_ _," Cas said slowly and putting great emphasis on the word. "We're still at Bobby's. You're dreaming. But this is a real hotel room in London. I could take you there one day after this mess with the war is over?" Cas asked with a small smile still lingering on his face._

_"I'll have to remember to ask you when I wake up," Dean laughed and crawled closer to Cas' body._

_"No need. I'm really here, Dean." Cas reached out his hand and buried it into Dean's hair. "This is really me." Dean just nodded, accepting Cas' word for it. After all, he_ _had_ _once helped them enter Bobby's dream once._

_Dean leant forward and captured Cas' lips with his own, licking his way into them and marvelling at the sounds the trickster made in return. He pulled himself on top of Cas and ground down against him, enjoying feeling Cas' thick dick harden between them. Cas' hand grabbed Dean's ass cheeks and heaved him up so that his legs straddled Cas' upper thighs and he had to bend over to continue kissing his lover's lips._

_Dean felt Cas' dick in-between his thighs, thrusting up between Dean's cheeks and brushing against his hole. He shivered in response to every thrust and ground back down in the same rhythm. It would be so easy to let Cas open him up and push his dick inside, taking everything from Dean that he was willing to give. He loved the feel of Cas' dick thrusting inside of him, fucking him hard and fast and unrelenting until Dean came with a scream of pleasure. It was ridiculous how Dean just wanted to be_ _used_ _by Cas. It should make him feel bad but he couldn't give a damn. Not when Cas would always hold him closely afterwards and kiss him slowly, taking care of him in a way no one had ever done before. The Juxtaposition of the rough sex and Cas' loving, caretaking, nature was odd but amazing; and Dean just couldn't get enough of it._

_Dean wanted to prolong the moment and so he moved Cas' hands away and slid down his lover's body until his lips were only inches from Cas' long, hard cock. He could feel Cas' eyes watching him as he licked a long stripe up from the balls to the tip, feeling the thrumming pulse against his tongue. Dean ignored the unpleasant salt taste of pre-come that gathered at the slit and continued to mouth at the trickster's dick. Cas rived beneath him, his breath hitching and faint mewls escaping his lips as Dean began to suck at the tip of his dick. He tried to not be too harsh, he'd only given a blow job once before but he'd received many in his lifetime and so he knew, more or less, what to do._

_He hollowed his cheeks so he could take in more of Castiel's dick, until his mouth was full. He didn't dare to slip down any further in case he started to gag; maybe one day he'd try deep-throating, but today he just wasn't ready. Cas buried his fingers deep into Dean's hair, but he didn't push his head down further; instead he simply gripped it hard, tugging slightly, but not painfully. Dean slowly began to bob his head up and down Cas' cock, using his hand to work at the area that he wasn't able to reach with his lips._

_Cas shivered and moaned beneath him; he could barely keep his hips still but Dean was gracious for the effort. Cas was praising him from above; telling Dean how amazing he was, how beautiful. Dean lifted his eyes up to watch Cas come undone. The trickster's head was dropped back against the cushion and pointing up to the ceiling as if he was in the middle of a prayer. Dean didn't know why he found that image so pleasing but he realised in that second that he definitely had a kink. He decided that he'd have to convince Cas to play around with a devout/sinner roleplay sometime._

_Cas' eyes appeared to be closed but Dean couldn't tell from this angle. Not until Cas lifted his head to look down at him, opening his eyes as he did so. Dean made eye contact with his lover and caught the wicked smirk on his face. He suddenly couldn't help it any longer, Dean used his hand that wasn't already working at the base of Castiel's cock, to reach down and tug at his own. Dean worked himself quickly because he knew that he couldn't wait until Cas' dick was buried inside his hole, he needed to come_ _right then_ _. He started to breathe heavier around the large object in his mouth as he struggled to reach his climax. He let out a soft moan that vibrated against Cas' skin and the dick in his mouth twitched happily._

_"_ _Fuck_ _," Cas breathed, scrunching his fist in Dean's hair. Dean sucked a little harder and began to bob his head faster, trying his best to tease Cas closer to the edge of his orgasm. It didn't take long before the trickster was crying out Dean's name and coming inside his mouth. Dean tried his best to swallow it all, ignoring the unpleasant taste as best he could, but a little bit of Cas' come escaped his lips and dribbled down his chin._

_Dean gave one last suck before he took Cas' spit-slick, and softening, cock out of his mouth. He dropped his forehead to Cas' lower abdomen and worked his own dick faster with his hand, soon coming all over the bed sheets. His body shook as he orgasmed and he managed to hold himself up only momentarily before collapsing on top of Cas. The trickster let out a quiet huff of air and reached down to pet Dean's hair as he came down from his high._

_"That was awesome," Dean muttered in to the warm skin of Cas' hips, eyes closed and voice sleepy, and Cas shook with silent laughter beneath him._

_"It was," the trickster agreed._

Dean woke up on the floor of Bobby's living room to Cas' rough tongue lapping at his abdomen and he froze, shooting a wareful glance at his sleeping brother only a few feet away on the sofa.

"Cas, what're you doing?" He whispered frantically.

 _"Relax,_ I put Sam into a deep sleep. You could kick him and he wouldn't wake up." Dean looked back down at where Cas was leaning over his hips, looking dishevelled and beautiful. He nodded once, trusting his lover and letting him continue to lick the drying come from Dean's body. It felt amazing and Dean had to bite his lip to keep from moaning; he knew that he would be hard agian if he hadn't only just come.

Once Cas was finished he sat back and smiled down at Dean who leant up for a brief kiss.

"I'm sorry," the trickster apologised and Dean frowned at him in confusion. "I was trying to stop our physical bodies from reacting to the dream but I lost concentration," he explained and Dean just smiled up at him.

"I'm sure I can forgive you," he replied and leant in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I did want to update sooner… but it's still been less than a month since my last update, and that is a lot better than it's been the past few chapters, and so I consider this a win. Chapter 19 is almost finished but I have exams to revise for and so I'll update again on the 15th or 16th January.
> 
> Parts of this chapter were awkward to write because my name is Ellen and it feels uncomfortable writing my own name into a fic while talking about someone else, it threw me off my game a little bit… so leave me a review to let me know your thoughts on this chapter?


	19. The Pretender

****Ellen and Jo's source ended up being yet another dead end; the boys drove back in a sullen mood but Castiel knew that he couldn't stay for much longer. He had seals to save and there was too much work still to be done. So, instead of following Dean around for a little longer like a lost puppy, he said a quick goodbye to the brothers and flew away. He had all intention of returning after a few days to check in, but he hadn't been expecting to be forced back to the Winchesters after the sensors alerted him to the presence of an angel nearby.

He landed in the motel room and instantly recognised the angel that was standing opposite both of the brothers.

"What are you doing here, Zachariah?" Cas growled out, making the Winchester brothers jump and look at him. He was standing at the far end of the motel room, a few feet behind his former superior.

"Castiel?" Zachariah asked in complete shock once he'd turned around to face him. "We thought that you were dead…"

"Not exactly," he replied as he withdrew his angel blade. Zachariah noticed and laughed curtly.

"What do you think you're doing? Do you really think that you can kill _me_? How pitiful." Zachariah withdrew his own angel blade and charged forwards. Sam smiled in relief at having the angel on their side to help to kill the trickster; while Dean grimaced and had a mental battle about which side he was on… his lover's or the supposed angel's.

Cas easily blocked Zachariah's attack with his own blade. He then smoothly pushed the angel away with his elbow, causing his former superior to drop his blade and it went flying across the floor. Cas straightened his arm and sliced at Zachariah as he stumbled backwards. He caught the man's chest with his blade and the bright light of his grace poured out of the gash. Cas quickly pushed Zachariah to the floor. He then straddled him as he pushed the blade deep into his chest. Light burst out of the angel and his wings left scorch marks on the ground below as they burnt off. He raised his head to see Dean directly in front of him.

Both brother's were covering their eyes from the bright light, but once the light diminished they look back towards Cas. They could easily see the wing marks on the floor and walls in the room and that proved to Dean that Zachariah had, in fact, been an angel; and now he was scared. Because Cas had killed him, Cas had killed one of the good guys… which meant that he must be evil. Cas could see the fear and hurt from his lover's betrayal in Dean's eyes and wasn't sure what to say. He got up onto his feet and looked down at Zachariah's empty vessel just as he heard the sound of a blade being picked up. He didn't need to turn around to know that Sam was holding Zachariah's dropped angel blade and was about to charge on him. He lifted his gaze once more to meet Dean's eyes as they flicked worriedly to his brother. But it didn't really bother Cas; he knew that his wards were too strong for a _human_ to kill him… angel blade or not.

"Yes, Sam… that blade can kill me," he said without turning. Sam faltered and looked down at the blade, unsure what to do now that Cas knew he was holding it. Both Winchester's shared a look of fear where Dean shook his head… Cas could see the turmoil in his lover's gaze and knew exactly what he was thinking: if Cas could kill an angel then he could _definitely_ kill Sam. An hour ago Dean wouldn't have thought that Cas would _ever_ hurt him or his brother… but now?

The angel sighed and materialised another angel blade which he passed to Dean.

"You should have one too," he said, hoping to gain back some of his trust which he knew was fading away at every second that passed. "They come in handy." Dean slowly reached out and took the blade from him.

"This is the same thing that you had at the police station," Dean said and Cas nodded even though it wasn't a question. "It kills demons… what else?" Dean asked and Cas shrugged as he put his own blade away.

"Pretty much everything."

"Why are you giving them us if they can kill you?" Sam asked and Cas reluctantly broke his eye contact with Dean so he could turn around and look at the taller Winchester.

"Call it an act of good faith…" Cas muttered. Sam looked over Cas' shoulder to Dean who was standing only a foot away from Cas, angel blade at the ready. Cas tilted his head to the side, deciding to listen in to Dean's thoughts.

Dean was thinking almost incoherently he was thinking that fast. But Cas was able to pick out a few rushed sentences that were repeating ' _evil_ ', ' _he killed an angel_ ', ' _Sam was right_ ' ' _I need to do this_ ', ' _I can't do this_ '. Cas knew that he was putting a lot of faith in Dean by not turning around to face him, but he needed to know what he would do… and so he stayed facing Sam. After a few seconds, he heard the sound of Dean dropping his weapon and _'I can't kill him'_ rippling through the hunter's mind. Cas moved away from the Winchesters and was about to fly away when his senses picked up on more angels, ten of them at least. His eyes went wide and he summoned his weapon once more.

"Pick up the blade!" Cas growled at Dean. Both the Winchester's perceived Cas' words as a threat and Sam's grip on the knife tightened while Dean looked scared, lost and hurt at the thought of Cas wanting to hurt them, he stayed deadly still. "For fucks sake, Dean," Cas practically shouted as he summoned the blade to him and strode towards them. Sam stiffened and was about to lung at the oncoming threat when Cas just pushed him out of the way and shoved the blade into Dean's grasp.

"What's happening?" Dean asked once he realised Cas didn't want to hurt them. Cas didn't answer and a few seconds later the room was flooded with angels.

"Castiel?!" a blond woman asked in shock and she stepped forwards, Cas winced at the happiness in her voice and hoped that his friend's didn't pick up on it. "We thought you were dead."

"So I heard"

The woman's gaze dropped to his blade and she frowned.

"You killed Zachariah?" She asked incredulously and several of the angels, including herself, pulled out their weapons. She took a step towards him and Cas raised his blade in a warning.

"You should leave, Hester… I don't want to hurt you." Hester gritted her teeth and was about to attack him when there was suddenly a new presence in the room.

"Castiel… _please_ … stop this madness," the angel said as he walked up to Cas, who was suddenly overwhelmed with a variety of emotions ranging from anger to sadness at being judged by his brothers and sisters. They didn't know what was going on. They didn't _understand_!

" _Leave,_ Uriel," he said as he tuned the blade to face his former ally. The man raised his hands in a peaceful manner to show that he was unarmed. Cas backed away slightly, towards the Winchesters in hope that he could escape without having to kill anyone else. He heard Sam move towards him and even though it couldn't kill him, Cas knew that being stabbed with the blade would weaken him, something that would have dire consequences when he was surrounded by angels that wanted him dead. He was about to move to stop the hunter from stabbing him when Uriel lifted his hand and pointed at Sam.

Sam stopped his pursuit and fell to the floor, gasping for breath. Before Dean even had chance to shout out his brother's name Cas flew to the position just behind Uriel and held his blade against the angel's neck.

"Let him _go_!" he growled into the angel's ear.

"He was going to kill you," Uriel protested calmly.

"Like he _could,_ " Cas commented dryly. In front of him he could see Sam writhing on the floor with Dean leaning over him and staring up at Castiel with big, round, eyes.

"Castiel, please. You're my brother, my friend. We fought side by side for millenniums and you're just going to throw it all away for this _mud monkey_?!"

" _Yes,_ " Cas growled out in rage. "These two are under my protection."

"And you're going to choose them over me?" He asked incredulously. "After everything we've been through… you're just going to _kill_ me?"

"Don't act like you wouldn't do the same thing," he sneered. "I know of your plan to free Lucifer and I know that you would kill _anyone_ , including me, who doesn't join your mad crusade." He saw that Sam had passed out on the floor. "I am _not_ your friend, Uriel." Cas said as he released the angel, he pulled away for a second and then plunged his knife in the man's back, who proceeded to drop to the floor in front of him. Cas flew over his body to get to the Winchesters, he placed a hand on Dean's shoulder and flew all three of them to a safe house before any of the other angels broke out of their shock and decided to attack him again.

Sam was placed on one of the double beds and Dean knelt next to him.

"Is he going to be okay?" the oldest brother asked, softly.

"He'll be fine," Cas answered as he took a knife and sliced his arm. He began to paint the angel banishing sigil on the wall. They were silent for a moment and then Dean lifted his head to look at his lover, he frowned at what he was doing.

"What is that?"

"Protection against angels… if they come here after us then all you have to do is place your hand on this sigil and they will be sent away." Dean nodded and watched Cas work for several seconds.

"So… angels. They're basically just dicks with wings?" Dean asked and Cas huffed out a laugh.

"Pretty much."

Dean nodded. "And you know them all personally?" He accused. Cas took a deep breath as he knew what was coming and he wasn't sure he was ready to tell his lover the truth.

"No." Cas shook his head, "not all of them. But… many of them, yes"

"And how did that happen, _exactly?_ That guy said that you were friends…" Cas stopped his work and looked over at Dean for a moment before he turned back to painting the sigil. "How does a _trickster_ become friends with _angels_?" Cas stayed silent for a few more seconds while he finished the sigil then turned to look at Dean.

"That's a long story"

"I've got time," Cas sighed and he finally gave in.

"I'm not a trickster, Dean"

"Then what are you?" he asked warily, but he already thought he knew the answer. Cas leaned against the wall next to the sigil.

"I'm an angel," Dean nodded and looked down at his brother.

"Why didn't you just tell us that in the first place?"

"That's… complicated."

 _"Cas!"_ Dean shouted and stood up as he looked over at the angel, "you've been lying to me since we met! I deserve some God damn answers!" Castiel looked at his lover sadly and nodded. He moved away from the wall and into the living room, indicating for Dean to follow. They both sat on the sofa.

"I'm not from this time," Cas said after taking a deep breath, Dean lifted his eyebrow but said nothing. "I'm from 2014. I came back to this time to change things."

"So what… you got your hands on a DeLorean?" Dean joked and Cas huffed out a laugh. He remembered Dean saying something similar in another life, but he had never understood his references back then.

"Not quite…"

"What did you come back to change?" Cas took another deep breath and launched into his explanation of what had happened the first time around, starting from when Dean had made the deal and leading up until Cas had been brought back to life by God. He didn't go into too much detail… just enough for Dean, who just sat quietly and listened for the whole thing, to know the basics.

"So, I started the apocalypse?" He asked sullenly when Cas had finished.

"Dean, no, you can't think like that"

"But you just said that the first seal was when I tortured souls in hell… and we both know that _that_ still happened."

"It's not your fault," Cas said as he placed his hand on top on Dean's in a comforting manner.

"Of course it is." Cas moved closer to the Winchester and kissed him delicately, Dean automatically kissed him back but he was too broken to put any real thought into it.

"You're not to blame for this… you never were," Cas whispered softly once the kiss had finished.

"So… were we together in your time?" Dean whispered, he sounded drained of emotion.

"For a while, yes. It started not long after you and Sam went your separate ways, but once Sam said yes to Lucifer… it started to get in the way of our roles."

"That's a nice story, Cas… what really happened between us? How did I screw things up?"

"You didn't screw things up," Dean locked eyes with the angel and silently pleaded for the truth. Cas took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, he broke their eye contact and looked down at his hands instead. "You changed, you started to blame yourself more than ever before for how everything played out, you lost that… spark, that made you who you are." There was silence in the room and he could feel waves of sadness coming off of Dean. "That's why you have to stop blaming yourself, I _can't_ see you turn into that man again, Dean… I _won't_ let that happen."

Dean nodded and started to clench and unclench his jaw, Cas watched in awe. Something about that simple movement made his features sharper and more attractive, he licked at his cracked lips as his eyes travelled over the face of his lover, memorising its beauty. Dean turned and met his eyes.

"Fuck, Cas… when you look at me like that I have real trouble believing you're an angel," Dean laughed and Cas smirked. He leant forwards and pulled the man into a deep kiss. Their tongues explored one another's mouths, just tasting each other. Cas moaned as Dean pushed him back onto the sofa, climbing on top of him. They broke apart from the kiss, panting heavily for oxygen, and leant their foreheads together. Cas hands ran over Dean's body and he squeezed his ass, causing the man on top of him take a sharp intake of breath. Cas chuckled and leant up for another kiss, though this one was more slow and imitate. Eventually the long kisses turned into shorter loving ones.

Cas sucked on a sensitive part of Dean's skin for a moment longer, enjoying the mewls that escaped his lovers mouth. He leaned back and they kissed again, then when the kiss broke they lay with their foreheads touching once again. They were quiet for a while, just basking in each other's presence and absorbing what had happened that day.

"I can't believe angels really exist," Dean muttered and Cas just nodded. "And God, too… the apocalypse… it's all just a lot to take in."

"I know," Cas whispered and Dean lifted himself up a bit to look into his lover's eyes.

"Thanks for telling me the truth," he said honestly and Cas sighed.

"I should have told you a _long_ time ago," he muttered and Dean smiled slightly down at him.

"Yeah, you should have," he agreed and then dipped back down to kiss the angel again. Cas got lost in the moment with Dean. He'd been worried about how the hunter would take the news ever since they had started sleeping together and it was a relief to now be entirely sure that Dean wouldn't hold his lies against him. He was mesmerised by Dean's tongue brushing against his own and making him moan lightly, so mesmerised that he didn't notice Sam waking up in the other room. So mesmerised that he didn't hear the younger Winchesters footsteps until it was too late.

_**(Dean's Point of View)** _

"What the _fuck_?" Sam practically shouted from where he stood, shocked, in the doorway and Dean jumped off of Cas' lap instantly. His eyes quickly flicked between his brother to his lover and back again. Cas got up more slowly, but his cool didn't changed the fact he looked completely debouched. "What is happening here?" Sam insisted as both Dean and Cas didn't speak up. He expected Cas to make some snide remark but he instead stayed completely silent. Sam waited a few more seconds for an answer, but when none came he continued, quieter but still just as angrily. "Have you completely lost your mind, Dean? He's a _monster_. We should be hunting him, not _fucking_ him."

"Gee, Sam. Tell me what you really think," Dean muttered as he tried to come up with a way to explain to Sam. Though his brother had a point; Cas wasn't a monster, he was an angel, but Dean didn't know that when they'd first started having sex.

"You let Dean go to hell," Sam said as he turned to face Cas, "and then brought him back months later to make us think you're on our side. You may have Dean fooled but not me."

"Sam, please. I'm just trying to help you," Cas said but Sam shook his head, approaching fast.

"We don't want you're help," Sam said angrily and Cas moved his head up towards the sky like he does when someone is being unreasonable or annoying, Dean smiled. But then he caught sight of something in Sam's hand; it was only a slight glint of shiny metal, half hidden up his coat sleeve. But he recognised it and began to panic. It was an angel blade. While Cas wasn't paying attention Sam thrust the blade into his chest, catching him off guard. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion.

"No!" Dean shouted and he rushed forwards, but he was too late. Blood was pouring through the angel's shirt as he staggered backwards in shock. Sam caught Dean before he could reach his boyfriend but Dean pushed him away and hurried to Castiel's side as the angel collapsed to his knees on the ground. "Don't die. Don't die," he whispered as tears flooded his eyes. " _Please!_ " But there the light was fading in his blue eyes and his muscles were becoming weaker. Dean leant his forehead against his lover's and cried. "I love you," he whispered to the limp body next to him and he was shocked by the truth of the statement; he hadn't realised until this moment just how much he cared for Cas… and now he was going to die. "I love you," his voice was weak and cracked from his heartbreak as he spoke.

"I love you, Dean," Cas spoke, very quietly. Dean realised his skin was warm to touch, too warm; it was getting hotter and hotter. But he didn't let go, he couldn't let him go. A moment later the Cas inhaled sharply and his body cooled rapidly, Dean pulled away very slightly to look at his eyes. "It's okay, I'm going to heal. I'll be okay," Cas croaked out his promise and Dean nodded. But his boyfriend still looked weak and unstable, his head was lolling a bit as he tried to focus.

" _How_?" Dean muttered, not entirely sure if he was being lied to.

"I increased my warding a long time ago. Nothing less powerful than a high level demon can kill me… not even with an angel blade," Cas said in return. Then took in a sharp breath as he moved to sit up straight instead of where he was slumped over Dean, "it's still just as painful though," he muttered. Dean smiled and pulled him into a kiss. It was soft and slow and he used it as a way to express just how much Cas meant to him as he cradled the angel's head in his left hand. A couple of moments later they pulled away and just stared into each other's eyes.

Cas wrapped his fingers around Dean's hand that was still putting pressure on his wound and then pulled it away and just held it. His blue eyes glanced over Dean's shoulder towards Sam.

"I should leave," he said quietly and Dean was about to protest but he just nodded and pulled him in for one last kiss. Cas disappeared after that, though Dean wasn't really sure if he'd flown away or just turned invisible… but Sam would think that he was gone. He didn't move from where he was kneeling on the floor and neither of them said anything for a long time.

"What the hell, Dean?"

"It's none of your business," he replied curtly.

"I can't believe this… he's a monster! When did you even start to like guys anyway?"

"I don't like _guys,_ Sam. I only like Cas," he said through gritted teeth, he still didn't move to face his brother.

"Damn it, Dean. He's obviously brainwashed you or something!" Dean span around to face Sam and glared at him as he stood up.

"He's not _brainwashed_ me, Sam. And he's not evil!"

" _He's not evil?_ " Sam copied in disbelief, "he _killed_ angels today. He killed Ruby. And God only knows how many more."

"Oh yeah, the angels. You mean the guys that tried to kill _you_? And by Ruby do you mean the demon bitch who was manipulating you?!" Dean shouted and stepped closer.

"According to Cas! But he's a monster, remember!"

"He's not a monster"

"Well he's not human." Dean shook his head, he wanted to shout to Sam that Cas was an angel, that he was one of the good guys, that he'd saved their lives countless times and was trying to save the _world_! But he knew right then that it wouldn't matter, anyway. Sam wouldn't believe him and Dean didn't feel like standing around and explaining. So he turned around and he left. Sam didn't try to follow him, which was as much of a relief as it was hurtful. Dean realised once he left the house, though, that he didn't actually know where they were. He looked around but the house was in the middle of the woods with only a dirt road in front of it. There was a car though. Dean walked over and climbed inside, hotwiring it easily. And then he just drove. He didn't know where he was going but he figured he'd get to a road sign soon enough, there was plenty of petrol in the car too. After about an hour, though, he pulled up at the side of the road and leaned his head against the steering wheel. He had expected Cas to show back up and now he was worried.

"Cas?" he said to the empty air.

"I'm here, Dean," Cas said, he lifted his head and looked at his boyfriend. His eyes drifted over his face, and he noticed how pale and tired he looked, and then down at the blood soaked remains of his shirt.

"God, Cas. I'm so sorry," he whispered and moved his had to cup his boyfriend's face, Cas leant into the touch slightly and swallowed.

"You have nothing to apologise for," he replied softly, but Dean still blamed himself for not being able to stop it.

"Can I look?" he asked softly, needing to make sure that Cas was really healed like he was acting. Cas nodded and began to unbutton his shirt, his movements were slow and stiff and Dean could tell he was still in pain so he pushed his hands away and did it himself. When he got to his chest he ran his hand over the small red scar there and tears spilled from his eyes. "It's not disappeared?" Dean questioned and Cas shook his head delicately.

"It's scared my grace. It's not going to disappear," he replied evenly.

"It _will_ stop hurting though… won't it?" Dean asked worriedly and Cas nodded again. " _Thank God_." He brushed his hand lightly over the scar in deep thought. "You were burning up… you felt like you were on fire… what was that?"

"When an angel dies, their grace burns out of their vessel. That was trying to happen to me but my warding slowed it until it could stop it."

"And that's why you're in so much pain," Dean said as a statement, he didn't need it answering but Cas nodded anyway. He looked away from the inflamed skin and into deep blue eyes, "is there anything I can do to help?" Cas paused before he shook his head.

"No. It'll stop hurting eventually."

"You're lying to me again, aren't you?" Dean said quietly. Cas didn't answer which was all the answer Dean needed. "What can I do?"

"It's not worth it"

"Well, I'm a big boy now… I think I can make that decision on my own." Cas quirked his eyebrow.

"You definitely are a _big boy,_ " he said and chuckled lightly at his own joke, then he stopped abruptly at the pain the movement caused. "Fine. It involves me giving you a part of my grace to keep inside you, for a day or so, until it heals and then taking it back into myself to let the healing spread," Dean nodded and was about to talk but Cas shook his head. "It has side effects. The main one actually isn't applicable in this scenario because you're heavens vessel so your body is more than capable of handling grace without exploding. But there are others… For starters; while my grace is still healing it would cause you pain"

"Let's do it"

"No, Dean. I won't do that to you. I'll heal"

"But how long will that take?" Cas shook his head.

"Not long"

"Don't lie to me. Please. We're past that," Dean said with a pleading tone.

"Somewhere between a few months and a couple of years to disappear completely… but I live a long time Dean. To me that isn't too long"

"I'm not going to let you go through that when I can help"

"Dean…"

"Cas, is there any other way to help you?"

"Yes," he sighed, "but it's much too dangerous… you could explode if it was done wrong so there is _no way_ that I'm letting you do it"

"So I guess this is our only option"

"No, Dean. I'll heal soon enough without it"

"Fine, if you don't want to do it for _yourself_ … then do it for me. Think about it, Cas. You are quite literally my guardian angel. You've saved us countless times and so if you're too hurt or too weak then demons, and _angels,_ can get to us as well as to you," Dean said, hoping that Cas would take the bait and sighing in relief when the angel nodded a few moments later. "Okay… how do we do this?"

"We'll have to go somewhere safe in case you pass out… I have another safe house," he admitted, withdrawn. Dean nodded and a few seconds later Cas flew them to another street. He was shocked when he looked around to see an abandoned factory surrounded by fields and trees and nothing else in sight other than the road. He turned to Cas, worrying that the angel was getting weaker and unable to fly correctly. But he just started walking and so Dean followed.

"Where's the house?" He asked and the angel indicated to the factory ahead of them

"In there." Dean quirked his eyebrow but followed Cas inside and found himself inside a hallway of a seemingly ordinary house.

"Well, now you're just showing off," Dean laughed, but it was uneasy with worry at seeing how much pain his boyfriend was in. Cas moved down the hallway and into the bedroom that was on the ground floor. He sat on the bed and indicated for Dean to lie down next to him.

"This _will_ be painful, Dean" Cas said quietly, "if you want to change your mind…"

"I'm _not_ going to change my mind, Cas" he said and Cas nodded and leant back against the headboard.

_**(Castiel's Point of View)** _

Cas summoned his grace and it sluggishly came into reach. He was injured badly and so it took several seconds to be able to use it. Dean was right, he wouldn't be able to defend them if he needed to, he would be almost useless… again. Sam was Lucifer's vessel which meant he'd had more power, add to that the demon blood that he'd ingested as baby and he was almost capable of killing him… which meant that the injuries were much more extensive than he assumed they would be. He closed his eyes and searched for the least damaged section of his grace to offer up to Dean. Cas placed his palm on his boyfriend's chest and pushed his grace outwards. The human stiffened and began to breathe heavily.

He could feel the pain that he was inflicting on Dean and wanted to cry. Then Cas' pain increased significantly at the loss of a part of his grace. After a few seconds he felt Dean lose consciousness and he let out a pained sigh. He opened his eyes and slipped down from the bed to the floor beside it, then he curled in on himself and breathed heavily in his attempts to keep from screaming.

He managed to prevent himself from crying out in pain by knowing it would wake Dean, who needed to sleep. He'd passed out more because of how _overwhelming_ it is for humans to contain grace than because of the pain, but the sleep would help Dean's body to heal and make the pain decrease.

After about twenty minutes, Cas forced himself into a meditative state.

[] [] []

Dean woke up five hours later, feeling like he'd been stabbed. It took him a while to remember and his eyes shot open. At first he couldn't move through the pain, but he forced himself to. He sat up and noticed the scruff of dark hair of the man sitting on the floor against the bed and sighed in relief.

"Cas? You okay?"

But the angel didn't answer.

"Cas?" Dean said again, beginning to get worried. He pushed himself off the bed and knelt by his boyfriend, smiling lightly when he noticed that he was still breathing, and sat next to him. Dean was overcome by the sight of the angel in that minute, though. He looked just like he had when Dean was piercing the vail, bright white wings sprouted from his back and engulfed the majority of the room and a light fog filled Castiel's core… Dean realised it must be his grace when he reached out to attempt to brush a hand through one of the wings and noticed a very faint version of the light fog on his own skin.

Dean was fascinated for moment, feeling like a child with a new toy. Then he looked back at the brilliant white wings and slowly lowered his hand to touch one. He wasn't sure if it would work, but the wings turned out to be tangible. They were soft and warm to the touch and they fluttered when Dean made contact with them. He smiled brightly as he delicately brushed his fingers into the light feathers. Seeing these again was worth the pain, Dean decided as he stared at Cas and wondered how he'd never been able to see that the man was an angel; even when he could see his wings the first time around, he had bought Cas' excuse. He really was gullible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk why I thought this whole "grace sharing" idea made any sense when I first thought it up… but I like wing!kink and so I decided to keep it, no matter how stupid it is. Btw, in case you can't remember, the other way that Cas mentioned that could help save him but was very dangerous is by touching a human soul (he did this with Bobby in season 6). I know that a _lot_ happened in this chapter so I hope you all liked it. It's named after the Foo Fighters song of the same name; alternative names would have been Play the Game (by Queen) or Coming Undone (by Korn). Leave a review?


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